Part I: Grant
Subject Z: -waking up, struggles with tape- What– what the hell? Where are we?
Subject G: -with a yawn- Oh look, it's Macey.
The Operative: Yeah, I'm going to go change. You guys are a lot heavier than you look. Maybe it's time think about some salad. -leaves room-
-awkward silence-
Subject G: What the hell are we doing here? -struggles with tape and rope…grumbles- I can't believe McHenry stuck us here.
Subject J: -nods- It's almost mathematically impossible.
-door slams open and closed. Operative reenters, smiles.-
Operative: Hello again boys.
Subject Z: Macey get us out of here. Why are we here?
Operative: Quiet. I have a headache because of the smell.
Subject Z: Hey I take offense to that.
Subject G: It's kind of true, man. Sorry.
Subject J: I think it's Macey's fault.
-Subjects glare at Macey-
Operative: Excuse me, but who are the ones all tied up? Now, where's my paper?
Subject G: Paper?
Operative: I said be quiet. Yes, paper, I have some questions to ask you.
Subject Z: We can't answer the questions if you tell us to be quiet.
Operative: Shut up. Stop being a smartass.
-silence and rustling as Operative looks for her paper-
Subject Z: Why are you doing this to us? Did Cammie, Liz, and Bex make you? Couldn't you just email us? If you untie us and take us home, I'll give you our emails. Mine's toogoode at–
Operative: Found it! -waves paper around-
Subject Z: – aol dot com, and I check it almost every day. Don't be afraid to email me, I know many girls get intimidated –
-Operative slaps a piece of duct tape of Subject Z's mouth-
Subject Z: Mmph!
Operative: Okay, we'll start with Grant.
Subject G: -scared look in eyes- No, no. No need to do that. Jonas here volunteered. You just didn't see.
Operative: How close do you consider yourself to Bex?
Subject G: Uh, what?
-Operative repeats question-
Subject G: Uhhh…what?
Subject Z: MMMMMPHH!
Operative: Zach, shush. I don't have time for you right now.
Subject J: -face is a deadpan- He's trying to say 'Grant wishes he were closer to Bex'
-Subject Z sits back with a satisfied look on his face-
Operative: Do you let her win intentionally when you fight her in P&E?
Subject G: …Yes…?
Operative: You're lying. On December 6th, you two fought in the tournament and she, quote, beat you fair and square, endquote. And you, quote, tried to protect your manhood by challenging her in Call of Duty, in which she, again, beat you, endquote.
Subject G: Why'd you even ask me this question if you already knew the answer?
Operative: I enjoy watching you squirm. Next question!
Subject J: -tries to pat Subject G's back sympathetically, but fails due to his hands being taped together behind his back- It's okay, man. We don't judge you. Much.
Operative: The very first time you saw Bex, how hot did you think she was, on a scale from 1 to 10?
Subject G: -suspiciously- You're going to be showing her this.
Operative: -crosses fingers behind back- No, I'm not going to.
Subject J: We're not five, Macey. Crossing your fingers is stupid.
Operative: Just answer the question, Grant.
Subject G: Uh…can I go? I'll just text you the answer later.
Operative: -looks around- I know I have a razor around here somewhere. How do you feel about smooth, baby legs, Grant?
Subject G: Nonono, wait! Um…9?
Operative: -jotting notes down- Answered…in…question. Unsure. Okay got it. What about the last point? Why did you give her a 9 and not a 10? What don't you like about her?
Subject G: Okay fine, 10! Perfect score, happy?
Operative: I don't want you to change your score.
Subject G: I'm not changing it.
Operative: You just did.
Subject G: No I didn't. I always said 10.
Operative: No, you didn't.
Subject G: Yes, I did.
Operative: No.
Subject G: Yes.
Operative: Hmm… -jots more notes-
Subject G: What're you writing?
Operative: 'Questionable why Agent Baxter likes Subject G, as he is obviously a moron and a liar.'
Subject G: Hey! -pause- Wait Bex likes me?
Operative: Moving on…
Subject G: Hey- no- wait- tell me! You just said she likes me, right?
Operative: How much of your attraction to her is because she's British and has that accent?
Subject J: He never said he likes her.
Subject G: Yeah, Macey. Take that! I only said she was hot. Bex likes me?
Operative: -digs around- Found the razor!
Subject G: Wait. Her accent adds to her hotness but it's not why I -suddenly stops talking-
Operative: Why you what? Why you like her? -jots on pad- 'Admits…to…liking…Agent…Baxter'
Subject G: Okay, I never officially said that. But, Bex likes me?
Operative: I'm done with you. Who's next?