So this is just a one shot that jumped in my head. I love the father son relationship between Howard and Tony.
Tony was in his favourite place. The house was empty, no parents to yell at him, he was never quite sure whether he was doing anything right or just doing everything wrong in his parent's eyes. He always saw love though in his mother's eyes, no matter what he did. He smiled to himself thinking about her, she had looked as stunning as ever when she left with his father earlier for a charity do, he hadn't really been listening. His mother had several charities which she supported and it was so very important to her. He had been eager for them to leave so that he could get into his father's workshop to take as much spare and scrap materials as he could and also get a little peace while working on his projects, without his father telling him that he would have changed this component or that it would be better if he did this. Tony sighed. He was never good enough. Tony struggled to accept his father's seemingly scathing evaluation of him, he tried desperately to impress him, the magazines would take pictures of them working on things together but this almost never happened, except for the hot-rod car that his father seemed to want Tony to help him with, but the spare time for this had become fractured over the years and Howard never seemed to have time to spare these days. He was working more and more for the government and the military. Sometimes Tony would see a glimmer of pride in his father's face as he explained something but he eventually dismissed it, always thinking he had imagined it. Howard after all had never told him this and he was highly critical of Tony and his work. Tony wandered around the workshop admiring his father's projects, processing the information and storing them in that crazy brain of his for a later date. He cast his eyes and trailed his fingers carefully over a map that lay unfolded of the Artic. Tony's face twisted into a scowl, his eyes narrowing as he wondered if his father was planning another trip to the artic. He gave a sad shake of the head, it had been a while since Howard had been to the artic, but it always used to make Tony feel a little lost, he would beg his dad to take him with him when he was younger, he could remember crying when Howard left and his dad would always get cross "No use crying, stop being silly" he would say.
Tony would hang on to every story that his father told about Captain America, Howard would tell them to anyone who would listen. Tony remembered a particular evening when Howard was telling a story to Maria, Tony crept closer and closer to him until he was almost on his lap, he had been around 6 years old, Howard had been drinking and became quickly irritated with his son, lifting him roughly and placing him on the floor, not interested in Tony. The breaking point came for Tony when he was involved in a fight at school, he had been 12 and his parents had been called. Tony hated the boarding school he attended, he had no real friends and everyone he was in classes in were far older than him. Tony had been beaten up quite badly and he had begged his mother not to send him back to school, when his father had taken hold of Tony and told him that Steve Rogers would have put up with none of Tony's nonsense and that Tony had to toughen up and be more like Steve. Tony could take no more, from that point, he ceased to want to hear about Steve Rogers. He just wanted his dad to see that "Cap" was dead – like everyone else thought.
Tony picked up his box of scraps and headed towards his father's desk. The photo of Howard and Maria on their wedding day was there and a photo of Howard and Captain America, arms slung around each other's shoulders. Tony picked it up and stared at it for a moment, before slamming it face down on the desk, not before noticing there was no picture of Tony. Tears rearing their head began to form in his eyes, he blinked them away. Tony Stark was too old to cry.
Tony was sitting in the lounge, eating pizza that Jarvis had ordered for him when his parents returned. He ignored their voices calling out to him from the hall.
"Typical 15-year-old" he heard his mother say.
"He's a spoilt brat, you over indulge him" Howard retorted.
"Yeah but you love him really" Maria replied playfully. Tony's ears perked up to listen, he actually stopped breathing waiting for his father's reply, but there was only silence followed by the sound of his Howard's shoes striding across the floor. Maria entered the lounge and grinned as she saw her teenage son, Tony glanced up but could see that she had had a few drinks. He began to close the pizza box.
"You save me a piece" she leaned over the couch and Tony smiled a small smile and offered her the box.
"Thanks baby" she kicked off her heels and lay back on the couch next to her son.
"What have you been up to, no trouble I hope"
"Nope" Tony answered automatically, then glanced round as if to check whether he had actually done anything that might warrant a telling off. Maria smiled at her son. He was so much like Howard, brilliant at everything he touched, but he had a sweet nature, he wasn't yet as confident as he should be, much of it a façade for other people. She felt she was losing her grip of him, he wouldn't talk to her like he once did, always chattering at 100mph, he had become moody and quieter as if he could now control the speed his brain worked. He always seemed to her that he was afraid of doing something wrong, she knew it was the effect of Howard, his own staff was wary of him so it seemed that his only son would be too. They scratched at each other, neither brave enough to embrace the other. Tony had tried when he was small, he bounced back each time Howard dismissed him, but now Tony was so caught up in teenage angst and hormones and with no siblings or even real friends to talk to him, he had drawn away from everyone, even her. Although she still saw the childlike wonder in his eyes at times, when he discovered something new and the way he smiled at her was always warm and reserved only for her. Maria had watched Tony develop a healthy relationship with Jarvis, in place of the one he should have had with his father.
Tony made to move and Maria grabbed his arm, she knew he didn't like it when she had been drinking, so she linked their arms and asked him if he was ok.
"I'm fine mom" Tony sighed with a weakness that a 15-year-old shouldn't have, but remained seated beside his mother.
"Where's dad" he asked, catching her eye for a second before he looked away.
"Down in the shop most likely" Now it was her turn to sigh "I think he's working on a new project"
"Uh Huh" Tony replied without thinking.
"Oooh, what do you know" Maria tugged on his sleeve smiling playfully.
Tony couldn't help but smile at her childishness, something he knew he got from her.
"The Artic"
Maria let go of her son instantly and groaned
"For God's sake, your joking right"
"Nope I saw the maps"
At that moment, Howard strode purposefully into the room, making Tony visibly jump.
"What is wrong with you" a glass of whiskey was in one hand and a broken photo in another. Maria looked at Howard and then to Tony.
"What's happened" she asked
"Our son has been in my workshop and has broken one of my old photos" Tony stood up quickly, Howard was tall, even at 15 Tony was still small and he looked it next to his father.
"I didn't break it, I just…knocked it over, I didn't even know it was broke" Tony's lie didn't even sound convincing. Howard waved the photo in his son's face.
"Sorry would have been a good place to start, but as you chose to lie, you'll be punished" Howard slammed his drink down on the table, he was furious. Tony began to move but Howard did something he had never done before and grabbed his shoulders and began to push him towards the wall. Tony was no match, he tried to struggle holding onto his father's wrists in an attempt to get him off, but Howard had the advantage.
"You know what Steve Rogers would say to you, you little smartarse" Howard smiled he was drunk and Tony could smell Scotch as if he had bathed in the stuff. Tony felt the sting of tears from the name Howard had called him, but he wasn't going to give his dad the satisfaction, he knew what was coming and he'd take it as punishment and hate Howard all the more for it.
"Stop it…Howard" Maria was at Howards side. "You've scared him enough"
"I haven't even started yet" Howard looked back at his son and rage suddenly bubbled up inside Tony.
"I'm not scared of you, your drunk and pathetic, you think he's still alive, go on another wasted trip. He's dead and the way you go on about him. I didn't mean to break the photo, but you know what I'm glad, he makes me sick and so do you" Tony stumbled over his feet but made to run, he dodged out of Howards astonished reach and sprinted out of the room and up to his bedroom where he was able to lock the door. He stopped at the back of the door and the adrenalin left him, he collapsed onto his bed and allowed the tears to fall.
A little while later Maria lingered outside her son's door.
"Tony" she knocked quietly. There was no answer. She tried again and leaned against the door. He wasn't going to talk to her. She had never seen Tony shout back at Howard before, she had never even seen rage like that in Tony. He had got frustrated of course and especially with projects but never with another person. Howard had been furious and had made to follow him, she had managed with Jarvis' help to give Tony breathing space and keep the two apart. She could still hear Howard yelling at Tony as he sprinted away, she had tried to dismiss it as a teenage rant, but she was reeling. She wanted to scoop him up like she had when he was small and tell him lies to make him feel better. She knew he would never allow her to be that close again. He had started to see through her lies where Howard was concerned. Telling her son "Daddy's busy" only worked for so long. She had thought that Tony was having a tough time at school, although his words about Steve Rogers were full of hate and rage. Maria had long thought that Tony had issues with Howard and his friendship with Steve Rogers. She had tried to explain to Howard that he should be less critical of his son and more loving, she despaired of Howard, he would talk about Tony to her and anyone else as if he was the best thing ever but he would never tell Tony how he really felt.
She knocked on Tony's door again gently "Tony, let me in sweetie" There was movement behind the door. She held her breath and then nothing. She wondered if it was Tony's way of telling her he was ok. There she heard a faint whisper "Where's Dad"
"In the shop" Tony leant against the door and unlocked it, opening the door slightly. Maria looked into her son's troubled eyes. She lifted her hand to touch his face, but he moved away.
"You can't keep blocking me out" She was gentle and she rested her hand on his chest and his face turned away.
"You mustn't worry, I know you hate it when he goes away but he always comes back ok"
Tony didn't look at her and shifted his weight so that he leant against the door frame.
"Yeah, always in a worse mood"
Maria smiled "Well that's your father, he wasn't always so grumpy you do" She paused "Not unlike someone else I know" This time he allowed her to reach towards him and she brushed a hair from his forehead. Tony's eyes were red, he had probably cried then, Maria felt that Tony's eyes were the most emotive eyes that she had ever seen. He moved away and went to sit on a corner of his bed, she followed him and sat to his other side.
"Do you never think to tidy up, or are you just imagining the magic pixies come in and clean in the night" Tony narrowed his eyes and scanned his bedroom frowning.
"What is it with Captain America, why can't he just let it go"
"He was your dads friend, he misses him"
Tony flung a school book that had been lying on his bed across the room and made Maria jump
"What about me" he yelled and flung another book and then kicked the pile off the end of his bed. Maria jumped up and strode purposely across the room and grabbed Tony's wrist.
"Stop it, Tony Stop it" Maria pulled her into him. She could feel his hitched breathing, he was angry but he didn't pull away
"Why can't he just be proud of me Mom, I can't be Steve Rogers, I'm just me and I know that's not much but he never says anything to me apart from you can do better or try harder and I'm just sick of it mom. I know he's gonna be mad at me now but I couldn't help it."
Maria glanced at him as he looked at her.
"Your dad, he loves you so much" She watched as Tony smiled and shook his head in defiance. "He is proud of you, he just doesn't know how to show it, he's too set in his ways"
"The whole Cap thing is like he wishes he was here and I wasn't" He tilted his head backwards and closed his eyes.
Maria sighed "Of course not, he loves you" She patted his leg.
"Is there anything I can get you sir" Jarvis stood behind Howard. He swirled the scotch round the glass in his hand.
"What's going on with Tony, Jarvis?"
"I'm unsure Sir" The butler began, his smooth accent calming Hoards nerves. "It wouldn't be my place to say" Jarvis paused but then added "I don't believe he wants you to go to the Artic"
"Well I think he made that clear"
"Quite Sir"
"He's so difficult and moody and I know, I know, he gets it from me" Howard began taking a sip of the Scotch
"I've always found Tony to be a delightful child, he's kind and he doesn't ask much of people, of course he has a difficult side, you just need to manage it" Jarvis explained to Howard but Howard was already up and making his way to the staircase that led to the rest of the house. Jarvis sighed as he watched him go before following him tiredly.
As Howard approached Tony's room, he heard his wife and he paused to listen. He should have known Maria would be here, she had a way with Tony, he was much more at ease with her, so unlike his relationship with Howard.
"I can't be like Captain America, Mom, I just can't, I saw the maps and I just lost it. I didn't mean to break the photo or shout, it just kinda happened"
"I know, your dad will understand, it might take a while but he will"
Tony rolled his eyes. "Yeah right, in what world are you living"
Howard smiled in spite of himself. Tony certainly had Howard fitted up. The thought was a sad one, Howard just didn't know how to deal with Tony. He had never meant for Tony to feel that, He was so much older when Tony had been born. He wanted to make Tony strong and independent, he was aware that Tony could easily become a spoiled brat who never realised his potential, Howard did not want that to happen and he would do anything to make sure it didn't. But Tony wasn't a spoilt brat, he loved to learn new things and was ridiculously talented and creative. He was already preparing to go to MIT in the fall at only 15. Howard couldn't be prouder. But standing here and hearing his son's emotional voice, he felt like he wanted to hug his son, but it wasn't the done thing, his father had never done it with him and he would never do it with Tony. Of course, Tony had come to Howard with science projects and blown him away but he only ever felt comfortable with Tony when he was asleep. The amount of times Tony had fell asleep in the shop, both starks working independently on opposite sides of the workshop, Tony would chatter away to himself or Jarvis, even to Howard, although Howard had rarely listened. Howard used to cover him with a blanket and sometimes he would even kiss his forehead, Tony would never know, he couldn't have done it when he was awake. Howard was dragged from his memories by Maria who appeared on the landing.
"Leave him alone Howard" She was short with her husband and led him away, once out of earshot of their son, she turned to her husband.
"He's a bloody mess, you need to stop this with him, he can't cope with it"
"I know I heard"
"How long were you standing there for"
"Long enough to hear enough" Howard poured his scotch down the sink
"Don't go to the Artic Howard, please" Maria begged her husband "Put Tony first, I know you loved Rogers but please…."
"I'm not going and I always put him first, why do you think I work my arse to the ground for? So that I can give that boy every opportunity and everything I didn't have"
"What about a dad, cos that's all he wants, you rammed Captain America down his throat, he tries so hard to please you, you realise that he thinks that you would rather Rogers was here and he wasn't"
"Of course, I don't wish he wasn't here" he paused, because there had been times when he had wished he didn't have Tony to worry about. "I wish Steve was here though, he was one of the best projects I worked on in my life and…"
"I know he was special to you Howard but you have a son that you must change your ways with"
"I can't be what you and him want me to be, Maria, you know how I feel about him, he means everything to me but I can't be a….well you know, I though he wanted me to find Steve, it was one of the reasons I kept up the trips, I supposed I should speak to him"
"No Howard leave it tonight"
Howard nodded and Maria gripped his hands, he pulled her in and kissed her head before leaving her alone to wipe away her tears.
Tony climbed into bed, his head was aching but his mind was still moving at 100mph. He had actually shouted at his dad, he'd never really done that, they had had words before but Tony had never got so angry like that before. He wondered if Howard would come up or what breakfast would be like.
"Forget it, I'm not getting up" he thought.
He reached over and in the bottom drawer of his night stand was a figure. Tony stared at it, his dad had bought it for him and he had carried it around everywhere for years. Captain America stared back at him. What would he have said to Tony if he was here? He probably wouldn't like me anyway thought Tony and shut the drawer.
Howard climbed the stairs tiredly sometime later, his wife already in bed and Jarvis had long since retired. Howard always had trouble sleeping, especially these days. He noticed the light on in his son's room, he knew that Tony also struggled to sleep, the curse of an overactive mind was that both got less sleep than they needed. He opened the door quietly, peeping in hoping that if Tony was awake, he wouldn't notice. But his 15-year-old son was asleep, exhausted, he had left the light and the tv on. Howard carefully turned off the tv and laid the covers over him before looking into his son's face. He smiled and reached to turn off the light.
Tony would never know that it was Howard who switched off his light and tv, as he had on so many other occasions. He just assumed it was Jarvis or his mom. No one would ever tell him.
Nothing more was ever said about that night. Breakfast was quiet the following morning and Howard made his excuses before heading out to work. No punishment was ever given but Tony noticed when he crept into the shop that the maps had been put away and Jarvis had fixed the photo which still sat on his father's desk. Nothing changed between Tony and his father. Howard never mentioned Steve rogers in the same way again. He talked of "Project Rebirth" but he didn't ever threaten Tony with what Captain American might say or think of him again. It was progress and it was all Tony wanted.
So if you liked it leave me a comment or favourite it. Always interested in feedback.