This fanfiction is my baby child. I used over a two years to wrote it, and I'm not ashamed to say that I'm quite proud of it. It is kinda AU, since playing Russian Roulette in Hogwarts isn't actually a realistic thingo. I hope you will like it, and all the reviews would be just a great plus. To me, more important is that someone actually reads it. Enjoy (: You can find it in it's original language on finfanfun dot fi.

Oh, and there is a trailer: watch?v=cQuGKavoVrs

"I have done that, says my memory. I cannot have done that, says my pride, and remains adamant. At last memory yields."

- Friedrich Nietzsche

1. Mousetrap

DRACO

Welcome to play a russian roulette. That's how it says in the letter. I look at it again. Yeah, it really does say welcome. Granger has probably wrote it, will she also play? Though it really wouldn't be a surprise if that mudblood big-tooth... Oh but she reduced those, the teeth I mean. Well anyway. If Granger gets a bullet in her head I sure won't cry. She is Granger after all, and I've never really gotten along with her. And yet my heart seems to stop every single time I think about her dead corps lying around on the floor of Room of Requirement. Weird, huh?

I feel, or more like I know that I will die. It is such a big probability that I will actually die in the first round. Ten out of the thirty will get a bullet in their heads. It makes 33,3 percent chance. Not so big number, but it will be enough. That is also written in the letter I'm holding in my hands. Same kind of a copy has been sent to Blaise Zabini, who isn't here at the moment. Blaise went to the Hogsmaide, like almost everyone else before christmas holidays. I did not want to go. Why spent money on useless crap, if you will be dead in a few weeks? Just in time for Christmas.

My mom was numbed with grief, when I told her I would stay in Hogwarts. Speaking the truth, I actually am feeling terrible for leaving mum alone. When all that shit has happen, dad gotten into jail for being a death eater and stuff. Summer vacation was immemorial, when we ran out of courtroom to another just trying to get daddy free. Every single council looked at us like we would've been scum. Like we were that kind of a people, who weren't allowed to get nice jobs, give birth or get a good education. People who should pay for breathing. Their gaze were icy and intrusive. And they were right. We were guilty. Through the year, some of our property has been out of the measured. Now if my mom looses me, she probably won't survive it. I mean, when she looses. I have 3,3 percent chance to be alive after final round.

The reason why I even got into this is stupid. It's that traditional Malfoy's glory that my father and grandfather always used to talk about. How when the enemy blusters, you have to win. Fun fact is, that Potter isn't an enemy, not really. It's more like a squabble between us. A huge squabble, but squabble anyway. I'm not even sure if Potter was actually joking about it. I was waiting a potions class to start with Grabbe, Goyle and Blaise, when Potter and his friends came.

"It's a game that muggles invented", Potter told to his friends, who were standing in a circle around him. "It's really intense, 'cause you have to make a decision of your own life."

"Do I hear, that Potter will end his days?" I shouted. Hey, when have I actually missed the chance to rail against Potter?

"Well You sure won't have what it takes to do it", Potter laughed and his annoying croup followed after. I looked down on him, like I usually did.

"Why does Pottyhead say so?" And that was the part where Potter actually seemed to think would he say what he then said.

"If son's like a father, I have no doubt about it..." I had waited for it, but I hadn't thought about what I would do when it did. My hand pressed to fist automatically and I hardly controlled my will to smack Potter's beautiful face into pieces.

"My father has nothing to do with this. You don't have to put it on the table every single time", I hissed. Other slytherins had stayed to watch what was happening with a great interest. And so did gryffindors.

"So you really would have a face to play russian roulette?" Potter asked.

I didn't even know what he was talking about, so my answer was quite simple.

"Of course."

"So you're ready to sacrifice everything you have... What am I talking about... You'd be ready to throw your life away for some game?" Potter mocked.

"If the boy-who-lives isn't afraid to be called the boy-who-we-remember, then yes", I said, though I'm not sure if my voice cracked a bit. I really hadn't thought that russian roulette was a game where you could actually die.

"Against Voldemort, you're only an insignificant prat", Potter said, but he didn't looked so sure either.

"So it's settled then", I said with a little bit of fear in my voice.

"You'll be dead soon, Malfoy", he answered just before Snape arrived to let us in to the classroom.

The idea of russian roulette spread around the school like a fire. Let me just tell you, that half of our school are totally crazy, crazy I say! Why would anyone wanna join us in the game of life and death? It seemed like everyone would've known about what me and Potter started by shouting each other in a hallway. Hermione Granger kept a list of participants, and if anyone wanted to sign in, they could've wrote their name around luncheon to that. Eternal glory to be the only one standing. And it didn't stop there. People actually were interested to come and see the actual game. Eventually Granger had to limit the terms and conditions, since it had become so popular. Only thirty would be picked. And since me and Potter were out of the counts, those other twenty eight places became quite wanted. A box that used the same method as the goblet of fire was set to the corner of library. If you wanted to join, you wrote your name into a paper and put the paper in the box. On the cover of the box it also said the rules of russian roulette. How you would get a info message few days before the first round, how you should really think about it before joining in et cetera, et cetera...

No teacher knows what we are up to. Well, who would actually tell a board that youngsters are planning a group suicide. 'Cause that's what it is. I understand me and Potter, since we really can't act like a normal human beings, but half of our school as well? Even Granger and Weasel-Bee has been so excited about it, that I'm kinda worried. Well, Weasel-Bee doesn't really took me as surprised, but Granger. Always so clever Granger. It is kinda sad, that even the most smart of us are falling. And I'm not even talking about dead.

Potter has been quite silent. I think he also regrets what he said. So do I, because even though I really can't say I would like the students of our school, it hasn't even come to my mind to slaughter them. Well obviously I won't slaughter them, they will do it themselves, butt still. Am I a little bit too harsh on myself? I didn't make anyone to join in. All I wanted to do, was to challenge Potter. And even that seems a bit too unimportant at the moment.

I turn my head to the letter that screams evil, and I read the schedule for the first round. Monday thirteenth of december, Room of Requirement at nine. Ending time is up to players (well that sounds creepy). They asked me not to bring anyone under the age of fifteen and I'm not allowed to practice. If I try to cheat, a consequences will be severe.

Seriously? How can anyone practice for a game where the idea is to shoot yourself? I'm really starting to consider Granger's light of reason. And is there really going to be an audience? Is there no limits for kids today, or is it just cool to see blood? Well come on then, maybe those few that didn't want to participate (though the reason is probably that the box didn't chose them) will get an inspiration to make this a tradition. It would be something, that anyone fears. Ministry of magic would have no time for death eaters, since suicidal teenagers would be out of control. Dad could get his freedom if aurors would focus on finding game makers instead of dark wizards.

A door of common room opens and Blaise enters the room. His hands are full of paper bags filled with presents wrapped in christmas paper. I can see happy red elves smiling at me.

"Gifts for the family?" I ask politely. Blaise, even though he's a crazy player of russian roulette, is still my best friend.

"Yep", boy smirks. He lands the paper bags on his bed and turns to open his trunk. Soon he will see the letter on his night stand and he will begin to speak about it.

"Did you see Pansy?" I try to open a conversation before it's too late.

"I saw her at Honeydukes. I also saw Potter and his friends, when I visited owlery. Weasley spoke nothing but roulette", Blaise says.

"Well how was Potter?" I ask, even though I'm not really that interested.

"Lumped like a ghost, didn't really say nothing at all. Well, soon we'll get rid of him. Draco, did the results come already?" I sigh when I hear the answer. I point over Blaise's shoulder.

"There it is. Probably same as mine."

"So you won't back down?" Blaise asks and moves closer to the letter at the same time. He rips it open with enthusiasm and pulls exactly the same kind of a piece of pergament out of the envelope. What it says, I already remember by heart. I will try to focus on Potter's behavior. Seems like he isn't excited about russian roulette at all. Like I'm not. It's kinda funny, since we were the two who started it all. We were supposed to play it together. Just us two.

"Feels great to be chosen. I have to go to see if Pansy got it", Blaise says with a big smile on his face. He rises from the bed where he sat to read the letter, and walks towards the door.

"Did Pansy also put her name in the box?" I say with my eyes open wide. Are all of my friends gone nuts?

"Yes. This shall be great", Blaise winks right before he leaves the room.

I remain still with my mouth open. I would understand the craze, if we'd talk about a hairstyle here, but this is a whole another level. Sigh. I decide to take a shower, since everything else feels too insane. A warm water against my skin is something that I really need right now.

HARRY

The history will remember me as a monster. A monster, who had an idea to play with people's lives. It would be different with Malfoy, he is far away from human. Sometimes I even wonder how there is such an inhuman person walking around. Of course there is Voldemort, but that's a whole different story. And am I the bad guy, if Malfoy wants to play the russian roulette? I don't remember it correctly which one of us is the brilliant mastermind behind it all, but I'm sure Malfoy was there... Okay, who am I trying to kid? It was me. I only meant it as a joke, but then people got all serious about it. And here we are now.

For the last couple of weeks I've been wishing that someone would blow the whistle. But I guess everyone knows Hermione's curses too well, since nobody knows. Still. If I were a teacher, I would know. I thought even Dumbledore would've even guessed that something is going on, but no. Oh how I wish that he would, so I wouldn't have to do this. As long as Malfoy is in, I can't back down. It's about me and him. Draco Malfoy is just a small criminal, but it's about pride. Pride always makes us fools and I guess that will never end. Well, actually it does end on christmas day at the latest, 'cause then we will have the great finale. And if both of us are still alive that day, it's quite a miracle that one.

"Harry. Hey, Harry!" I hear the shout coming out somewhere behind me. I've fallen to sleep while thinking about the future. These common room chairs are really comfortable and soft.

"Ron... what's the time?" I ask while I sidle into position that is more in shape.

"It's seven in a morning and saturday", the boy answers with muted voice. I'm sure that he didn't find me for telling me this.

"Saturday? Oh yeah, I was going to meet Hagrid today", I say and I rub my eyes.

"You were?"

"Yes", I answer with a slightly confused tone. What has ever stopped Ron for going to an afternoon tea in Hagrid's?

"I just thought that we could talk about roulette with Hermione", Ron says in partly disappointed and partly excited voice.

"Eh, we never talk about anything else nowadays", I feel annoyed. It's one of those reasons why i don't want any of this to happen. Both Ron and Hermione are signed up to russian roulette. Why can't those two understand, that not everything has to be done in group? I can't even imagine how bad it will feel when one of them shots themselves. The game can't have two victories. I thought, that they wouldn't even want that. Or at least that one of them wouldn't. If I would be going out with someone, I sure wouldn't do this. Love is a thing that I don't wanna cover in blood.

"Well the winter break starts officially today, so we do have to talk about it", Ron says. Oh how I wanna hear that voice in the future as well. Or that at least someone else would. Ron is a great person and I want him to have kids and that he will live a happy life until he dies in his own bed as an old man. And that is the thing I pray for every participant. It was supposed to be me and Malfoy. Malfoy and me.

I close my eyes again. Wake me up, when this nightmare is over.