I'm not dead!
Heya guys, I hope you'll enjoy this story. It's my take on what might have happened in Asgard between Loki and Odin after Loki's return as an Einherjar.
Disclaimer: I sadly do not own any of these characters.
Author's note: The italic parts between quotation marks are Loki's thoughts.
The King of Asgard stood in his destroyed throne room, right next to what used to be his throne. He looked down at it, lost in thought. Thinking about recent events no doubt. Only yesterday, an army of Dark Elves had walked in and destroyed everything. Everything. Not only the throne room and the palace, but the dungeons below, the city, and the queen… Odin close his eye in sorrow, and smashed his hand against the pile of debris that used to be his throne.
Silently, an Einherjar coated in gold walked into the room. He looked at the older man with a mix of interest and disgust: "Was that guilt on his face? I did not know he was capable of that." Out of curiosity, the golden man forced himself to be more noisy than necessary when making his way towards the 'throne'. Odin's eye snapped open, and he did his best to hide any emotion possible. But, still he did not turn to face the guard.
"Forgive me, my Liege, I have returned from the Dark World with news." The Einherjar broke the silence.
The King's heart skipped a beat, though his lack of any expression remained. Had he been found? "Thor?"
The Einherjar swallowed a scoff. "Of course – Thor. Always only thinking about Thor. No wonder he had stared at his throne with guilt. He was scared something had happened to his precious son, and that it had been all his fault."
"There is no sign of Thor, or the weapon, but…" The man paused, his eyes filled with interest at Odin's next choice of words. The latter recognised the tone of the guard's voice, and decided to show his face at last. This time, the lack of expression had made way for fear.
"What?" The King breathed.
"We found a body." The Einherjar lowered his gaze. Odin's eye widened, his mouth stood agape, searching for words.
"Loki…" He had finally found them. Without waiting for any sign his guess had been right, he turned his back on the man. The guard focussed his gaze on Odin once more, his face amused.
"What a nice gesture, he actually remembers who accompanied Thor. I'm almost impressed with the way he keeps up this façade to the people around him. He plays the part of worried father very well, though it does not suit him."
"D-do you have the body with you?" Odin spoke, turning around once again. He tried to maintain his usual pose of the great leader of Asgard, but his eye told a different story.
"No, I left the corpse on Svartalfheim to rot."
"Yes, my King. He has been taken to the healers to clean up his wounds."
Odin nodded. "What of the wounds? Has he been hurt badly?"
"The façade is getting tiring to listen to, old man."
"There appears to only be one wound. It is in his chest. My guess is that one of the Dark Elves struck him a fatal blow with one of their weapons."
Odin nodded once again before stepping down the steps to make his way to the infirmary no doubt. He motioned for the Einherjar to follow him. Odin moved at a fast pace, almost running. Within minutes they arrived at the infirmary. Odin didn't bother to knock; he swung open the doors and let himself in. He was greeted with a number of annoyed faces. But once the healers realised who had stepped inside, their faced showed remorse before they bowed their heads in respect. The head-healer, Eir, walked up to Odin after bowing herself.
"My Liege, I – I'm sorry. He had already passed when he was brought here. There is nothing we can –"
Odin held up his hand, and walked past her, towards the table with the body. Eir hurried after him as if afraid he was about to do something stupid. He stopped in front of the table, and stared down at the body. He lay there, expressionless with his eyes closed. The skin was white, with grey patterns like cracks. It looked like the body would break down and fly away if only the slightest bit of wind would let it. But all of that was nothing compared to the wound in the chest. The Dark Elf's weapon had left a hole through which the table underneath the body was visible. Blood surrounded the wound; most of it had dried, some bits were clumped up.
Odin suddenly moved his left hand to touch the face of his younger son. He stroked his cheek slowly. A single tear prickled in his left eye, and he unknowingly let it roll down onto his cheek. But where one went, more followed. The healers looked at their king with sorrow. Eir placed her hand on Odin's shoulder in an effort to ease his pain. But when she did, it seemed like he had been taken out of some kind of trance. His head snapped up, and he looked at all the healers present.
"Leave me."
"Are you certain, my King?" Eir tried, again with her hand on his shoulder. She was a sweet woman, always trying to comfort everyone. Sadly for her, Odin couldn't be comforted once sad or angry. Not by anyone, but Frigga. And since she had passed, it meant no one could comfort the King.
"I said, leave me. All of you." Odin said louder this time. He turned to Eir, staring at her angrily. She nodded, and motioned for all the other healers to follow her. They all hurried out of the room.
"Well, that was a waste of my time." The Einherjar that had been waiting for Odin right next to the door opening made his way to follow the healers out of the room.
"Don't." Odin said. "Come here." The guard obliged. He slowly made his way next to Odin, looking down at the King. The latter had gone back to stroking his son's cheek.
"I truly don't understand you, old man. Have you figured out it isn't truly me lying on that table? Or are you just so dependent on how others perceive you that you think showing remorse for your 'son' makes you loved? You might be able to trick everyone else, but –"
"Tell Eir to prepare a funeral for Loki."
The guard looked at the other man with confusion. "I – I beg you pardon, my Liege?"
"I said 'tell Eir to prepare a funeral for Loki'. I would have done it myself, but I found myself unable to at this state."
"C-certainly, my King. When should I tell her the funeral should take place?"
"Tonight."
"I do not mean to oppose you, my Liege, but isn't that a bit soon? Eir can work wonders, we saw so at the Queen's f –" Odin's free hand tensed. "What I am trying to say is that a funeral that big might be a bit too much for Eir."
Odin slowly turned his head to the guard. "I shall forgive your words this time around. But no worries, it will only be a small funeral. It will be held in secret, only I will attend."
"Thank you, my King, I apologise for my words. I shall tell Eir immediately." The man bowed again, and left the King alone. When looking behind, he saw Odin had gone back to looking at his son.
The Einherjar chuckled silently once out of the room. "Ah, that's where his true generosity shows. He pretends to feel sorry, but when it comes to a funeral, he wants it to be dealt with as soon and as mediocre as possible…"
A day later, the same Einherjar from the day before walked into the throne room. This day seemed almost repetitive; Odin was standing next to his throne, looking down, the Einherjar walked into the throne room without a sound, and once again the latter was to break the silence.
"You have called for me, my King?"
Odin's head snapped around to look at the man. "Yes, I have. Come."
The man obliged, and walked towards Odin. He kneeled down in front of the steps, and got back up when Odin motioned for him to do so.
"I wished to thank you for telling Eir to prepare Loki's funeral, despite my anger towards you. For that I wish to apologise."
"I thank you, my Liege. Your anger was understandable."
"At least, to most people."
Odin nodded. "Now, I wish know what exactly happened at the Dark World."
"Does he know?"
"I apologise, but I only arrived after Thor left and Loki –"
"I am well aware of that." Odin snapped, suddenly not looking so sorry for the continued anger from yesterday. "I just wanted to know what else you found on that blasted realm apart from my deceased son."
"The sad excuse for a funeral is over, no need to keep pretending. I can see the disgust in your eye when talking about me. Why not show it? For as far as you know, I am dead."
"The only other things present were the bodies of deceased Dark Elves."
"I see…'the only other things'. So you're calling my son's body a thing?"
"Don't act like you care!" The Einherjar spat. Odin eyed him with a wide eye. He should get mad, but there was something about the thing his guard had said.
"Now, why would I not care for my own son?" Odin said calmly.
"Two can play this game, old man." The Einherjar changed; green magic spread across his body, removing more and more features of the golden man. After a few seconds, only a man with black hair, pale skin, and green and black clothes remained.
"Loki…" Odin breathed.
"Yes, Loki."
"But, I thought – How?"
"Magic, obviously. It wasn't too difficult disguising the Einherjar that came to Svartalfheim to resemble me."
"Why did you do it?"
"Why do you act like you care?" Loki snarled. Odin's eye lit up with anger, but he kept his mouth shut. He merely looked at the man in front of him. "Very well, if you won't talk, I will." Loki started to pace around the room. Odin followed him with his gaze.
"I will not tell you why I did it, since you seem so reluctant to answer your question. No, that would unfair, wouldn't it? Instead I will tell you what happened. When Thor and I were battling the Dark Elves, the oaf found himself helpless against the Kurse. I must admit, seeing the monster smashing into him was rather amusing, but nonetheless I saved him." Loki smirked.
"You saved Thor. Why?"
"Ah, ah, ah…" Loki mocked. "Don't interrupt my story, quiet now." He put his index finger on his lips to shush Odin. The latter did not seem pleased, but kept quiet. "I grabbed one of the Dark Elves' weapons, and pierced the Kurse with it. I knew Thor would see it as some kind of redemption for me. He would think I had seen my wrongdoings for what they were." Loki paused to chuckle. "How wrong he was…So that was when I decided to cast an illusion. The Kurse pierced me with the same weapon I had pierced him with. Then, I activated the black hole-bomb on his belt. He died, and so did I.
When Thor was gone, it was only a matter of time before an Einherjar you had sent to retrieve Thor from Svartalfheim would come. Said Einherjar found only me, 'dead'. The poor man rushed to my side, kneeling down. I only had to grab his sword and stab him the same place I had been 'stabbed'. Then, I changed into him, and I transformed him into my corpse. The rest is history."
"I see…" Odin responded absentmindedly.
"Not a fan of my illusion I see. A shame, I worked quite hard on it too." Loki teased. "Or is it the killing you despise? Then again, you shouldn't be surprised, knowing my true heritage. I was only doing my duty –"
"Loki, stop."
"Loki, stop what?"
"Stop acting like this. Stop acting like you do not care."
"Who says I'm acting?"
"Loki!" Odin walked down the stairs towards a smirking Loki. "I want to you be serious about this. You killed an Einherjar, and you tricked Thor an me into believing you're dead. Those are things not to laugh about. You make it seem like you enjoy living of our sorrow."
"Well, I would be lying if I said I did not enjoy Thor's sorrow."
"Stop lying to yourself, Loki! Stop acting like you do not care!"
Loki's smirk didn't fade. "I am merely taking example from the man in front of me. I do not care, and neither do you."
"Stop feeding yourself lies!" Odin grabbed Loki by his shoulders. Loki's smirk vanished, and he pushed Odin away. He took a few steps back.
"Lies…lies. What lies? You mean the lie that I am your son? The lie you cared for me, and didn't plan for me to be a living peace treaty? Or the lie that you felt sorrow for me when I presumably died? You mean those lies, Odin?"
"Listen to me. Don't call me that, son, I –"
"I. Am. Not. Your. Son!" Loki's temper had reached its maximum. He walked towards Odin and looked him straight in the eyes. "I never was, don't pretend."
"Loki, listen to me." Odin breathed angrily. "Please, do not feed yourself with these lies. I don't want –"
"Was it a lie that I am your son?" Loki interrupted.
"What? What are –"
"Answer the question."
"Yes, but –"
"Was it a lie that you cared for me and didn't mean to use me to reunite Jötunheim and Asgard?"
"Yes."
"Then, tell me this. Why did you pretend to feel sorrow when you thought me dead?"
"I did not pretend. You are my son."
Loki grabbed Odin by his shoulders, and pushed him against the wall. "Tell me the truth."
"Loki, I – I can't."
"And why is that?"
"Because you are unstable, and I don't want to worsen it."
Loki chuckled. "Ah, I see. You can't handle the fact you are the reason I am 'unstable', as you call it. No, no, no. Of course the Allfather cannot damage his popularity, even if it meant telling his so-called 'son' the truth at last."
"Don't twist my words."
"Then tell me."
The older man sighed. He had no other choice, and he knew it.
"I admit to it all. I – I admit I never treated you like the son you were told to be. The truth is, I –" Odin lowered his gaze.
"No, no. You were doing so well. Continue." Loki said.
"The truth is, I took you in to one day reunite our two kingdoms. And every day I spend with you was a reminder of that cause. It was hard to see you as a son. But I tried. I –"
"Ah, well as long as you try everything is fine, isn't it?"
"I didn't interrupt you, you won't interrupt me. Yes, I tried to see you as my son, but I couldn't. But that does not mean I never cared for you, Loki. After your 'death' at the Bifrost, I mourned. When you attacked Midgard, I had hope the boy I cared about would one day return. And yesterday was no façade either; I care for you Loki. And because of that, I know you can change back."
Loki laughed. "You're always trying to find your way out of things, aren't you. I am not your son, but you care. Don't make me laugh. And even if it were true, after all I have done you would set me free because you think I can 'change back'?"
"No. I cannot set you free, Loki. You will be sent back into the dungeons until you realise your mistakes."
"How idiotic." Loki laughed once again. "You really don't like me, do you? Imposing such an idea. Do you honestly think time rotting in the dungeons will make me appreciate my life under you? If anything, it would feed my anger. You might as well kill me right now."
"I am sorry, Loki, but there is no other choice. I have hope for you." Odin looked Loki in his eyes. A glimmer of sadness was shown in Odin's own, but it quickly faded away. The King then walked past a perplexed Loki. He was going to get a few Einherjar to help take Loki back to his cell. Honestly, he questioned himself why he did not kill Loki at this very moment. The answer was Frigga. Even after her passing, Odin still could not bring himself to kill the boy she had come to love.
Only then, Odin felt something hitting his back. He fell down, face-forward.
"Do you really think I will eagerly accept you offer and go back to my cell?" Loki turned Odin on his back with magic, quickly followed by two more spells. One to immobilise Odin, another to silence him.
"Do you want to know why I faked my death?" He kneeled down beside Odin, and whispered. "I did it so I can fulfil my birth right. I shall take on your form while you rot the rest of your life away." He smiled, and walked away from the man of the floor. He then released Odin of his paralysation.
Knowing this might be his last change, Odin got up and made his way for Gungnir. But Loki appeared next to it, and snatched it away. He pointed it at the older man. "Now, now. Let's not do that."
A few days later.
The door opened. The man inside the room opened his eye, and sat up, wishing he hadn't. Within seconds, the room was filled with a bright green light. Then, Loki walked in with a plate of food in his hands. He lazily threw it down in front of the other man.
"Loki, please." Odin tried.
Loki, once again, placed his index finger on his lips to shush Odin. "Just eat your food without complaint, and I might tell you a story."
The older man sighed, but did as he was told. There was no use arguing with Loki, both men knew that. Plus, Odin was hungry. He hadn't eaten since the day Loki had brought him here, wherever here was.
Looking content, Loki summoned a chair, and sat down on it, staring down at the eating man.
"Thor was here only yesterday." Loki said uninterestingly.
Odin almost chocked on his food. "Thor?"
"Hush now, let me speak. He defeated Malekith. The nine realms are safe at last. For now." Odin breathed with relief. "Oh, and de denounced the throne."
In only a matter of seconds, Odin managed to almost choke on his food again. "Denounced the throne?"
Loki smirked as he stood up, vanishing the chair. "Yes, yes he did. He also wished to stay with his mortal. So I, being a good father, gave him my blessing. Now, enjoy the rest of your food, I will be back in a few days." He made his way back to the door, turning his back on Odin.
"Wait!" Loki stopped. "If you hate me so much, why let me live?"
Loki chuckled. "Because I like to see you suffer." And with that, he left the older man alone in a dark room where no one would ever find him.
I haven't died! I'm finally back, but it is with an update for one of my ongoing fanfics? Of course not! Sorry guys, I'm just not in the mood to continue one of those atm.
But never mind that! Let me know what you thought of this one:) It's my first ever MCU fanfiction, so I hope you like it.