"Mr. Resilient"
A Star Trek: The Next Generation Story By Lal Soong
Author's Note: This story is a PC branch story to the Trip to Nowhere series. You should read my stories "Out of Alignment" and "The Graft" before reading this story. The events in this story take place about five years after "The Graft."
Slumping down in her chair, Beverly peered wearily at her monitor. She almost considered putting off her medical log until tomorrow morning. Almost.
"Let's get this over with," she grumbled and tapped the record button. "Chief Medical Officer's log, Starbase 217, stardate 57344. Finally, after placing the Intrepid's crew under quarantine for two weeks, I have isolated the virus causing their delusional fevers. I have developed an antibiotic from-"
The chirp of an incoming message interrupted the doctor and she placed her medical log on pause. Please don't be another medical emergency! She thought, ready to shut out the real world for several hours of self-indulgence.
"Doctor, it is good to see you are still doing well," Medic Parkin said on her screen.
Beverly smiled leerily at the Akodian doctor who had cared for her during the first several months after her regeneration. There would be no relaxation tonight. Perhaps not for a long time to come. Instantly, she found herself fighting flashes of barely remembered moments; someone waking her, scanning her, asking her questions. What were they asking her? Worse, what had she told them?
What did Parkin want with her now? More tests? More questions? When would her nightmare be completely over?
"I am managing," Beverly squeaked out.
"You are, of course, aware that your Federation has been negotiating an alliance with our government." She seemed as calm and reserved as ever, always the antithesis to how Beverly felt in her presence.
"Of course," Beverly echoed.
Why did she get the feeling that she was about to become involved in those negotiations somehow? Diplomacy has never been one of my strengths, she admitted to herself.
"Those negotiations are coming to a close. However, before government council members will make a decision on the Federation's petition for access to our wormhole, we must conduct some final evaluations on those most greatly effected by the wormhole technology."
"The Stargazer crew."
Though Beverly dreaded the prospect of interacting with the Akodians again, she did understand the magnitude to which access to the wormholes would greatly effect the advancement of the Federation.
"Yes. We have selected a few members of your crew, those we believe have the most sway upon others."
"And I'm one of the lucky ones?"
"Your entire senior staff will be evaluated one or two at a time. It is my opinion that we can better evaluate you in smaller groups. I have already spoken with your commanding officer. You are to prepare to depart by 0900 hours tomorrow. I am aboard one of our small crafts, the Gak. We will arrive at your starbase to transport you to our homeworld.
"I'm to travel through one of your pocket wormholes?"
"That is correct. Do not be concerned, Doctor. I assure you that it is a frequently used wormhole. The Gak herself has made numerous trips through it."
Despite the Akodian's certainty, Beverly could not hold back the shudder rising across her spine. No matter how safe anything was proven, there was always that one random accident.
"Don't worry, Beverly, Mr. Resilient will be there to hold your hand."
Beverly whipped around, smiling at Captain Jean-Luc Picard standing in her doorway as handsome as ever. He had not told her that he would be in this sector today! Walking up to her, he grasped her hand and they shared a moment of inner desire. They would have answered its call if it were not for the Akodian watching them on the small screen.
Parkin cleared her throat to regain their attention. "It is your emotional state during the actual trip through the wormhole that we are most concerned about," she continued. "We must assess the most extreme reaction your people might have to our wormhole technology before we grant liberal travel through them to all Federation members. I wish you good health and peace during your trip." She bowed her head and her image was replaced by the Federation logo.
"Dear Beverly," Jean-Luc said as he played with the ring on her finger. "I really hate all this time away from you."
He was referring to the fact that Beverly hadn't yet asked for reassignment back on the Stargazer. Here they'd been married for nearly five years now and they saw each other no more than a few times a year. Her husband's missions took him far away from her and although she missed him dearly, Beverly had never felt quite ready to reintegrate herself into a life aboard a starship. She cursed herself every time she said goodbye to her husband, and yet she did not ask him not to go, nor chase after him. What was still holding her back?
Beverly stood to accept a welcoming kiss from him. His lips warmed her weary body and his hand, brushing lightly against her back, stirred desires she had let lay dormant since his last visit nearly three months ago.
"Still remember where your quarters are located?" he whispered in her ear.
"Are you implying that I've been working too hard?" The smile on her face belied her annoyance as she led her husband out of the infirmary and toward her quarters. Suddenly, she wasn't feeling so tired.
"So how does it look for the Federation?" Beverly asked as she lay naked in her husband's arms. "Will the Akodians sign the alliance or will this evaluation we must endure all be naught?"
Picard rubbed gently at her arm, taking a long moment before answering. "Beverly. . . .I don't want to make any promises where the Akodians are concerned. There's still much we do not know about them."
"But surely they've offered some indication of which way they are swaying."
"If they have, Starfleet Headquarters isn't breathing a word of it." Rub. Rub. "We better get some sleep. Tomorrow could be a long day."
"An eternity," Beverly agreed.
As exhausted as she was Beverly could not shut her mind off. Questions, doubts, plagued her. What if her inability to take that final step back onto a starship persuaded the Akodians to drop the petition? I got to snap out of this! She chastised herself. Flipping to her other side, she tried forcing herself into a mental void.
Not like she hadn't been there before.
Before regeneration.
Later, when she awoke to realize she had managed a little sleep, Beverly turned over to discover that Jean-Luc was not in her bed. Reaching out to retrieve her housecoat, she called after him.
When he did not answer, she stepped out of her bedroom to find him staring out the viewport window inside her living area. Walking up to hug him from behind, she said in a caring tone," Mr. Resilient can't sleep either?"
He tilted his head toward her. "My life's adjustments haven't always been as smooth as I've led others to believe. Quite frankly, my Dear, the prospect of traveling through that wormhole pocket again scares me more than anything has since my capture by the Borg."
"Hold my hand during the voyage," Beverly offered.
Jean-Luc reached out to entwine her fingers inside his. "Beverly, I'll hold your hand anywhere."
She smiled sweetly at him, although inwardly she was wondering just how the hell they were going to get through this.
"Greetings," Parkin acknowledged her guests as they stepped off the transporter pad of the Gak.
It had been a long while since Beverly had faced an Akodian. Although Parkin and many of the others had been kind to Beverly, she would have been happy to go a long while more without encountering one.
"I wish to make your journey as comfortable as possible," the medic continued. "So if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. Have you eaten yet?"
Beverly smirked as she glanced at her husband. They had spent much of their time re-exploring each other to give food any consideration. "No," she admitted as she realized she had last eaten early in the afternoon the day before.
"Excellent. One of the things I've observed over the past few years is that our cultures share the custom of socializing over meals."
Suddenly, Beverly could barely breathe. Her socialize with Akodians? She couldn't be in a room full of them! The sight of them would bring on constant flashes, bits and pieces only, of memories when she was surrounded by Akodian doctors and nurses-just enough to drive her totally mad. I can't do this! She thought. I have to get back to the station!
"Beverly, are you all right?" Jean-Luc asked, grabbing her by the arm to steady her. His attention was just enough to snap her out of her visceral fear and convince her that running away was absurd.
"Will it be just the three of us?" she managed to ask.
"I'm sure the Gak's captain will want to join us. Perhaps our first officer as well."
"May I request that that be all?" Jean-Luc asked, verbalizing Beverly's wishes. He could obviously sense from her appearance what was bothering her. Yet she looked toward him, surprised. He was usually a bit more diplomatic.
"I do understand how you feel amongst a crowd of beings not of your own kind," Parkin said, seeming to take no offense.
It didn't use to be that way, Beverly mused. I used to offer alien races medical aid on first contact without giving it conscious thought. It was my job. I just did it!
"I will make this as easy for you as possible. For now, I will show you to your temporary quarters so you may freshen up and relax. In twenty of your minutes, I will return to escort you to the lounge.
Once they were alone, Beverly said, "Jean-Luc, thank you. I don't think I would have had the strength to stand up to even Parkin. But even so, I can't believe you made the request! What if word of this gets back to Starfleet Headquarters?"
"The Akodians-and Starfleet, for that matter-have placed us in a difficult situation. The least they can do is accommodate us while we are on board their ship," the captain replied, sounding more emotional than his usual self.
"I just hope this doesn't cause our evaluations to become unfavorable."
"If they evaluate us poorly due to this simple request, then they will have unfairly judged us."
"I hope Starfleet Headquarters sees-"
"I really don't want to argue about this!" he said curtly. Without another word, he walked away from her and into the bathroom.
There's something more serious bothering him than just the prospect of traveling through the wormhole, Beverly decided. Had he been placing too much stress on himself, trying to live up to his reputation as Mr. Resilient? "Damn," she muttered aloud, wishing she had never given him that ridiculous nickname!
Beverly endured every friendly "greetings" from the Akodians they past along the way to the lounge with a curt smile. Their attempts to make their Human guests feel comfortable was backfiring with their overkill. Clutching her husband's hand for reassurance, Beverly held her thoughts of contempt at bay. These people are friendly, she reminded herself. They want to be our allies.
Parkin led them to an empty table toward the center of the lounge, and gestured toward their reserved seats. Jean-Luc helped Beverly into her seat before taking his own to her right. Parkin sat across from them, leaving two empty seats between them. Obviously for the captain and the first officer, Beverly decided, wishing the seats would remain empty.
Slowly, she managed to steal her gaze away from the vacant chairs and toward her immediate surroundings. The eating facilities of the Akodians were actually not much different than that of the Federation and Beverly had little trouble determining how she would use the utensils. Now if the food proves as simple, she mused. Shortly, three servants came out to present them with a buffet of alien cuisine and her curiosity was answered. To her satisfaction, the servants demonstrated the appropriate way to place portions on her plate and how to hold the eating utensils. Jean-Luc laughed when her first attempt resulted in a creamy ring around her mouth, but when he tried to take his first bite, an orange noodle landed in his lap.
The captain and first officer arrived, politely introduced themselves as Captain Migel and Vycod, and then took their seats in between Parkin and Jean-Luc.
So far, so good, Beverly mused as she worked up the courage to taste another dish.
It actually smelt delicious, and a few bites into it, she began to relax and ease her way into the conversation surrounding her. Jean-Luc was answering some of the captain and first officer's questions about his command strategy-both before and after the wormhole accident. To her, they seemed overly concerned with his ability to maintain composure under stress.
"Jean-Luc has made incredible strides over the past couple of years," she insisted. "Even after all he's been through, he's one of the damn best Starfleet captains alive. And I'm not just saying that as his wife!"
"Of course," Captain Migel said with a slight chuckle. "We do not doubt that Picard-" He nodded in the other captain's direction. "-that you are a respectable, dependable member of your fleet. We simply must take every precaution before we move forward. I apologize for the inconvenience to the both of you."
"It's quite all right," Jean-Luc said with a slight smile. "In your place, I'm sure I would ask the same of my guests." He glanced toward his wife as though to convey that he could fight his own battles, and Beverly regretted again that she was no diplomat.
"Good," Migel said, seeming not to notice the silent exchange between his guests. "Then you should also understand the necessity that you return to this lounge later when it is time to enter the pocket wormhole."
Beverly grew tense. I should have expected this, she thought, trying to calm herself. It's only logical that they'll want us to be observed by a large audience. She scanned the room, counting the pairs of eyes upon them. The bartender was pretending to act busy, but he was obviously more interested in his alien guests. Others, who were talking, glanced occasionally in their direction. How many of them would be watching them later? What would they report about her reaction?
Be strong, Bev, she told herself. Get yourself through this and you can fall apart after you're back on the station. The station, she reiterated, longing for home. Would she forever see Starbase 217 as her safe haven?
"I will be sitting with you the entire time," Parkin informed them. "I want you to understand that I offer you my full support and any doubts you wish to discuss beforehand would remain confidential. My report is to only cover my assessment of your behavior during travel through the pocket."
Share her doubts with an Akodian? Beverly almost laughed at the prospect. That was like entering a dog kennel to discuss with its residence why you were afraid of being bitten.
"We do not wish this process to be painful or overly stressful for you," the captain added. "Tell us your needs and we will accommodate them to the best of our abilities.
Beverly did not know how to respond. Her needs? What she really needed right now was to get all of this over with so she could move on with her life. Reaching out for her husband's hand, she spoke aloud, "We would simply like to be left alone for a few hours until the time arrives."
"Our work keeps us separated for long periods at a time," Jean-Luc explained. "We have quite a lot of catching up to do."
Beverly blushed. They had more catching up to do indeed!
The Akodian captain nodded. "I have a wife as well, left behind on the homeworld. I do understand your need. We will be arriving at the wormhole pocket in approximately three point two of your hours. Medic Parkin will come for you at that time and escort you back to the lounge."
Very well," Beverly said, anxious to depart. She wiped her mouth with a cloth napkin. "Thank you for the delicious meal."
In each other's arms, Beverly and Jean-Luc stared out the viewport window inside their private guest quarters. They talked about various happenings with each other since the last time they'd been together, but neither of them approached the subject that was really troubling them. Images of those weeks inside the infirmary during her recovery after regeneration flashed through Beverly's mind. She tried desperately, as she had so many times during therapy, to remember more than mere fragments. It was no use. Those days were gone to her.
She looked up toward her husband, accepting a brief kiss.
What did he remember of that time? Was he as troubled by it as she was? Please, let the Akodians approve this alliance, Beverly wished silently. She didn't believe either of them could deal well with rejection after all these years of therapy and partial memories.
"The Akodians are good people," Jean-Luc announced after a long silence. "Their philosophies and values are compatible with our own." He sighed heavily. "Yet, I have my doubts, too."
"What will we do if-" Her voice cracked before she could get the words out. His eerie silence was even more frightening. What wasn't he telling her? She wondered again. "Jean-Luc, are you feeling well?"
"I'm fine," he tried to assure her. He didn't sound very convincing. Sighing resolutely, he began his confession. "Before I arrived at starbase, I spoke with Admiral Houston. Starfleet wants me to take on the position of liaison between the Akodians and the Federation."
For a long moment, their eyes locked, silently sharing the magnitude of the situation. "Really?" Beverly finally said, trying not to sound tense. "Are you considering it?"
"It would be a prestigious position. I would be privy to firsthand knowledge of any discoveries. Think about it, Beverly. The Federation would no longer be limited mostly to the Alpha Quadrant. This could eventually open up gateways to other galaxies."
"That's all very exciting, Dear. But it doesn't answer my question."
"Yes," he said with a slow nod. "I am considering it. That is why I have been so agitated. I'm both frightened and excited!"
"Then this little adventure today could just be a threshold for you. If they forge the alliance, journeys through pocket wormholes could become routine for you. Which way do you want their decision to sway, Jean-Luc? This is Beverly you're talking to, your wife. You can be honest with me."
He let out a long-drawn breath. "Believe me, I have run through many scenarios in my head for the past several hours. I've tried to tell myself that only a weak man would wish for rejection."
"You're not weak, Jean-Luc, but that doesn't mean that you can't be afraid-like the rest of us. Don't get too caught up in maintaining your image as Mr. Resilient. Everyone has their vulnerabilities." She wrapped her arm around his shoulder, nuzzling into his neck. "I think deep down that you want the alliance and will welcome the challenge. I know you better than anyone. You wouldn't turn away from a situation just because ignoring it was personally in your best interest." She hesitated, silently comparing herself to him. Wasn't that what she was doing by remaining on the station?
"What would be best for me-and for the Federation-would be for me to accept this liaison assignment. And you are correct, I do want this assignment. It's the epitome of what I joined Starfleet for in the first place."
He's right, she decided. Hadn't she chosen a life as a Starfleet doctor over a private practice on Earth for similar reasons? She was devoted to saving people's lives, but there was a big part of her that also craved adventure. "And I'll be by your side," she said with firm courage. "I will offer my support every step of the way."
He turned toward her, looking incredulous-like a man who had lost all hope of ever having his wife beside him.
"That is if you'll have me."
"Have you?" A huge grin broke out on his face. "You should know by now that you're the inspiration that gives me my resilience. As long as I know I have you to come home to, I can make it through another day, another mission-" He kissed her softly on the lips. "-And another wormhole."
"Let's go face our demons together, Dearest."
As Parkin led them back through the lounge to their table, Beverly awkwardly tried to avoid bumping into the patrons. Were they here to watch the pocket wormhole open up or to gape at her? She suspected the latter, considering its novelty for them. She felt like an animal in a zoo and for once felt guilty ever having taken pleasure in zoological tours as a child. Animals are placed in zoos for their protection, she reminded herself. Another analogy that fit her situation. She needed protection. But from what? The wormhole-or herself?
"We will be arriving at the pocket in another five of your minutes," Parkin informed them, snapping Beverly out of yet another self-incrimination. "Would you like some refreshments while we wait? Our replicators have been programmed with a few beverages from cultures of your Federation."
"Some iced lemon tea would be nice," Beverly responded.
Parkin summoned one of the waiters and a minute later, the three of them each had iced teas.
The ship fell out of warp and slowed to a crawl. Steady hands, Doctor, Beverly chided herself as she lifted her glass to taste the sweet liquid. Jean-Luc grasped her free hand and smiled reassuringly at her. She tried to focus on her beloved's presence, but she could not dampen her thoughts completely. "You are being watched!" She darted her eyes across the room. Eventually-mere seconds later, actually-the temptation grew too great and her eyes rested on the viewwindow. It was there. Somewhere. She knew it. Squinting, she searched for the tiny opening that would blow up like a balloon and swallow them. All the while, she remained acutely aware of the eyes upon her, watching her, waiting to assess her reaction.
It emerged suddenly like a brilliant rose reaching full bloom. She smiled. "So beautiful," she spoke softly. Flashes. Moments of a time before. Another pocket that had imploded on them. A rarity? She had known long ago that life as a Starfleet officer presented many dangers. What she had forgotten were her reasons for wanting a Starfleet career. The adventure. The unknown. The wonderful discoveries.
Jean-Luc reluctantly released his grip on her as she stood from the table. He did not follow her. It was his way, after all, to observe more sedately. The ship began its glide through the wormhole. Beverly approached the viewwindow. Placing her hand on the glass, she gazed at the spectacular phenomenon, her audience forgotten.
Once they exited the pocket, Parkin stepped up to the doctor. "We will reach the homeworld in a few minutes. For now, I must ask that you return to your quarters."
"Your people will forge the alliance," Beverly told the medic with conviction. Jean-Luc came up from behind to place his hands on her shoulders. "This is only the beginning of our adventure together."
Silently, she thought, For us, too, Jean-Luc.
Nuzzling against her husband on the sofa, Beverly declared, "They have to form an alliance. " The words tasted good in her mouth. So long had she been afraid that she now felt incredibly euphoric after their trip through the wormhole.
"I know how you must feel," Jean-Luc said. "I feel much the same. But we just can't assume that this matter is resolved by the Akodians' way of thinking."
Beverly turned toward her husband. "What more could the Akodians expect from us?"
Piercing his lips, Jean-Luc seriously considered the question. "Maybe not from us exactly, but if I am to serve as their liaison-"
"They'll want to be sure you're the right man for the job. If you're willing to endure, then I'll be right there by your side."
"I know you will be, Dear."
For a brief moment, Beverly felt safer in Jean-Luc's arms than she ever had. Then the annunciator chimed dispelling the magical moment.
"Come," Picard said.
The door swooshed open to admit Medic Parkin. "Greetings," she said.
"Greetings," Beverly said back, trying to sound good natured. She wiggled out of Jean-Luc's gentle hold to stand up and face their visitor. He stood a moment later, placing his hand around hers.
"I take it you've finished your reports," Jean-Luc said.
"Your evaluation went well," Parkin informed them. The statement was delivered without emotion, at least as far as Beverly could tell. Had the medic been helping them simply out of obligation to duty? "The crew members who witnessed your reaction to the pocket wormhole believes you were sincere in your behavior.
"And? Does that mean you'll sign the alliance?"
"We have one person we need to evaluate first-a girl who was effected telepathically by contact with our species."
"Shannara Rozhenko!" Beverly gasped. What kind of people were the Akodians to want to subject a child to their evaluations? "Why her? Why not evaluate her mother or some other telepath? She's only seven years old! She won't understand what you want from her."
"We recognize the nature of being a child. We will treat her accordingly."
Beverly had never seen any Akodian children, and she wondered now how they treated their own.
"If she does not undergo the evaluation, will there be any chance of an alliance?" Jean-Luc asked.
"Not likely."
"Her parents will be difficult to convince," Beverly told Parkin. She imagined first Deanna's reaction-she would want to shield her daughter-and then Worf's reaction-he would challenge the Akodian government and demand they choose some other empath for their trials.
Parkin nodded. "Yes, I met them when they came to visit you during your recovery. That is why I sent a proposal to my government that they allow you to speak with her parents about this matter."
"Why?" Beverly asked. "Why would you do something like that? What's in this alliance for you? What will the Akodians gain by this?"
"Beverly," Jean-Luc said in a severe tone.
Glancing at her husband, Beverly blushed lightly, realizing her blunder. Here I go again. I'm just not a diplomat!
"May we have a moment to speak alone?" Jean-Luc asked of the Medic.
Parkin nodded and the captain led his wife into the bedroom.
Once the door had swooshed closed behind them, Jean-Luc snapped in a low voice, "How could you ask such a question?"
"I'm sorry, but I'm really getting tired of playing games with these people."
"Are they any less strict than the Federation when it comes to accepting new members? Consider how many years Bajor fought to become a member of the Federation, despite our claiming access to the Bajoran wormhole.
"But their talking about subjecting a seven-year old girl to who knows what kind of tests. That's exploitation!"
"Beverly, don't you think you might be prejudging them? Until we know exactly what they have in mind, we can't say that they'll cause Shannara any harm. Maybe they wish only to talk with her."
"Talk with her? Contact with their wormholes was enough to awake Shannara's empathic abilities prematurely. What will happen to her if she spends even one hour in the same room with a group of them?"
"What about that drug Deanna was on for a while? What was it called?"
"Drugs! Do you really think that will solve the problem?"
Jean-Luc sighed heavily. "There may be no choice."
"What are you saying? Worf and Deanna can't be forced to hand their daughter over to the Akodians."
"Force is a bit strong, Beverly. However, the Akodians' approval may very well be contingent on their agreement."
"Why does this have to be so difficult? Then you agree with Parkin; we should try to convince Worf and Deanna that it's in the best interest of the Federation that they allow the Akodians to evaluate their daughter."
"Yes, actually. I don't believe it will cause the girl any permanent harm."
"Well, then I guess it's a good thing we'll be the ones to break the news," Beverly snapped and without giving Jean-Luc a chance to react, she turned and stepped out of the room. She moved briskly toward Parkin, letting the alien know through body language that she didn't agree with their tactics. "It seems you've left me with no choice." As she spoke, Beverly heard the swoosh of the door behind her, signaling that Jean-Luc had followed her out. "I'd rather be the one to tell the Rozhenkos of your plans than have some Starfleet admiral they don't know issue a formal request."
"Excellent. You have made a wise decision. We will be making our return departure shortly. I appreciate your cooperation and will leave you be for now."
Once Parkin had left, Beverly turned toward her husband. She could never remain angry with him. "Could you rub some of that resilience off on me?"
"Oh, Beverly," Jean-Luc replied, bringing his hands to her arms. "I'll rub you anywhere. . . ."
With that offer, Beverly led her husband into the bedroom where she planned to keep him for the remainder of their trip.