I wrote this because I miss all of the people my family has lost to the war. It is only two or three maybe more, my parents won't give me an exact count but, I wanted to write something that I could cry to. I am in a sad mood so I hope it's okay. I wrote this without planning it and this is the first time i have done that so I would like to know what you think of it. I would like you to remember all the men and woman over seas right now as you read this. As a proud military brat I proudly give you Overseas Causes Much Pain. Reviews are greatly appreciated!!
This also is just a oneshot currently but may turn into more. It is Bella and Edward as a normal couple.
Overseas Causes Much Pain
"Please, just tell me why you have to leave." Here I was again, pleading with my husband. He had to leave for Iraq or some other god forsaken desert, again. So many of our friends have died over there; Mark, Steve, Bobby. I can't let him go, again. I can't. I just can't.
My arms were wrapped around his toned stomach, locked in a vice-grip. He can't do this to me, again. He has already gone through two deployments for god sakes! My heart can't take anymore of this. I love him too much. Does he love me back? What the Hell did I just ask? Of course he loves me. I just have to hear him say it again.
"Please tell me one thing, one more time," I pleaded with him. I was looking up into his green eyes, about the color of a forest or even a sparkling emerald. Especially now, the way his tears were pooling. I couldn't hold my tears in anymore. They spilled over instantly. He gripped me closer and sat with his arms still around me on the couch. He pulled me onto his lap and I rested my head against his chiseled chest. I sobbed uncontrollably against his sandy t-shirt.
"You know I love you with every fiber of my being, Bella. I will scream it to Al-Qaeda when I put a bullet in their skulls. I love you Isabella Marie Cullen." He rested his chin on the top of my head. We sat there together, crying, for what seemed like a lifetime. In reality it was approximately five minutes. I could cry for another couple of hours. I can't have him leave me again. The sandy battle fields are not where my loving Edward belongs. I need him. He is my heartbeat as I am his.
He has been shipped off twice before. The first time was about a year and a half after 9/11. That deployment lasted roughly nine months. I was not allowed to know his position. I understand that. It is a war and extremely dangerous. He was able to call home a lot, the first time. I could always hear guns in the background. I wouldn't let him hear how much this hurt me but, inside it tore me apart, deeply. He always assured me he was safe and I didn't need to worry. It just came naturally for me to worry. At first, I even thought him being overseas was an honor. He was serving his country willingly. He loved his job. He was willing to give his life for it. I wish he hadn't signed up for the Army. I can't deny him this, though. When he arrived home, I hugged him and wouldn't let a minute go by without at least some part of me touching him.
He came back a different man, a little more aware of his surroundings. He was still basically my husband Edward Cullen but, there were little things. The way he looked at a strange, shy kid walking past us on the street or a stray dog. These hurt me. He was even wary of the Muslim who I worked with though he tried not to show it. I know it is because of the bastards over in the Middle East.
The second time he left was easier, and harder. I knew what to expect. The longer hours, more stress, and the constant phone calls from worried family. Alice was always the worst. A week before Edward left, she called every morning at four AM. She knew he had to leave for PT at five. She would call again at seven at night. I understood she was worried. I was too. In fact, I was torn up. The day before he left, I curled up with him in our bed where we had shared so many blissful memories, and cried. We both did. I had never seen a grown man cry before then. It just made me cry more. I couldn't bear to see him walk inside the sliding transparent glass doors to the airport. I had to have Carlisle, his father, come and pick me up from the airport. I couldn't drive myself home. When he arrived at the airport in his black Mercedes S55 I cried even more. Edward had always yearned to own an S55. Military pay would never let him achieve that and so much more. My sergeant will never be able to have that shinny new car he always yearned for as a kid.
When Carlisle dropped me off at home, I stumbled to my room and cried myself to sleep. I prayed to a god that I never believe existed and hoped he came home alive. I didn't want to see my Edward in a pine casket with an American flag placed over it, at least not for at least another forty years.
That deployment was eleven months, the longest eleven months of my life. It seemed every day I had some family member over. The one who never visited unless forced was Rosalie, his sister. It didn't bother me except on the day of his arrival. The day he was scheduled to come home his siblings decided to meet him at the airport with me. She opted not to. I don't think Edward really minded. There has always seemed to be a brick wall between the two of them.
Now he was leaving me again. I know he didn't choose this. He never would choose this. His hand glided through my again and again. After he had finished crying, he removed his chin from its resting place on my head and looked me. "This is the only downfall of a military life, having to leave you." He placed a gentle kiss filled with passion on my worry-creased forehead. "I will be coming back. I have to come back. I can't be separated from you. I love you more then I love myself. I promise I will be back to you. I promise." I turned in his lap so my face was lined up with his.
"I promise you I will be there standing at the airport the day you fly in. I will have a smile on my face and I will greet you with a kiss longer than anyone we have shared before. I will not let your time away diminish our relationship in anyway. If anything I will let it build our love stronger. I love you Edward Anthony Mason Cullen and that will never change." I ended my speech with a small peck on his lips. I turned in his lap; once again, to look at the print we have hanging on our wall above the fireplace. It has five green barrettes kneeling in front of the insignia proclaiming them as green barrettes and a battle worn American flag. It was a Christmas present from my father, a police chief, to my husband and I three years ago. One of the rare Christmases we had together.
I yawned softly and he knew what that meant; I was done crying for now. We would be able to talk. I creped off of his lap to sit with my back against the arm of the loveseat. I pulled my knees up to my chest and sobbed once quietly to myself. I had to get this out of my system. I had about two, three if I was lucky, weeks until the war took my soul from me. I muscled up the little bit of stretch I had left and sighed, "Can you tell me where you are headed to this time?"
He moved closer to me and put one hand one my knee next to my elbow that was resting on my leg. "I am not able to tell you both because I have been given an order and I do not yet know where I am going this time. I can tell you this. It will only be for five months. We have a simple task ahead of us and I hope you can remain strong." He picked up my left hand and kissed my ring that he had given me six years ago. "I am gratefully sorry that I have to leave you. I love you. Please remember that, always."
I would never be able to forget that. He was too much a part of my emotional and physical make up. "I will never be able to forget you." He pulled me into a hug as he fell onto his back. I was lying on top of him sobbing every now and again. We fell asleep this way.