Behind Blue Eyes
By S.J. Kohl

Pairing: Sephiroth/Cloud
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Sephiroth struggles to break free.
Disclaimer: Sadly, the FF7 universe does not belong to me. Imagine that.

He was a Nightmare shifting through the far reaches of a fragile mind, striving to take control, yearning for a breath of freedom. It was stifling, watching the world through a film of blue. He could see the life, the power around his host, but he was held back, a bare gleam of green behind blue eyes. Thoughts drifted past him--emotions, sensations, memories. The pain and the aching loneliness and the overwhelming sense of failure he let slip past, but the memories...those caught and held him fast. They held power, those memories, power he could harness and bend to his will. They held a former life.

Silver hair and a soft half-smile. Long fingers against smooth skin. Warm green eyes. Close. The press of lips and the hot glide of a knowing tongue. Dark, sensual voice. "I missed you today."

He caught that memory, allowed the ghost of a welcome touch and the feelings of desire and contentment to swirl around him for a moment. He gathered them to him and then sent them upward, spiraling to the surface of the mind that held him trapped inside it, relishing the grief and the anger that washed over him, through him. He rode the wave of his host's pain, upward, upward, inching closer to the surface. A flash of green, a spasm of agony. Another memory.

Securely enveloped in strong arms, a cocoon of silver hair wrapped about him. Screened from the world. A gentle kiss, a soothing caress. Sharp green eyes flaring with compassion. Understanding. "You don't have to go back to Nibelheim, you know."

Compassion was weakness. With a ripple of disgust, he latched onto the edge of this memory, twisting and threading his way through the dark shards of this broken mind. A slash of rage and welling darkness, a crack spreading through already brittle armor. Not quite wide enough. Not yet.

Rended flesh, searing agony from a too familiar blade. Pain, betrayal. Failure. Not his lover. A monster. The angel broken. Gone. Determination, crawling strength. Shock in alien green eyes. Death, murder. Grief. Pain. Darkness.

He laughed as he flung the memory like a weapon. A good death, well-deserved. Jenova's first child had been weak, inferior. Stunted by compassion and love. Worthless human emotions. He knew better, was better. The crack split wide with a detrimental surge of guilt and despair, longing and abject misery. An aching sense of incompletion assaulted him as he slipped into the consciousness of his host, power and strength flooding into him. Green flickering against the blue, battling for dominance. Dilating and contracting. A rush of hatred, a blur of pain. Another memory flashing past, gone in an instant.

A hand against bare chest, cool fingers splayed against a swiftly beating heart. Warm, melted green eyes. Love and trust, completion. "I'll always be with you, Cloud. Always."

A laugh as the green swept forward in a hungry rush, consuming the blue, dominating and demanding. Crushing. A flicker of blue grief and slicing sapphire pain, ravaged by green fire. Biting amusement and a soft half-smile. If his Brother had only known the irony behind those words...