Little Bunny Foo Foo
Summery: The Boys get a little drunk.
Disclaimer: Do I look like Charles Dickens to you?
Anything underlined is me talking to the characters.
A/N: In Little Bunny Foo Foo Dodger does all the single lines e.g: Along came the... and I give you one more chance.
Fagin's POV
I opened the door to the den. I'd been out for a while, sorting money with Bill. I'd left the Dodger and Charley in charge. Turns out it was the biggest mistake of my life.
"...And weeeeeeeee, through 'im ou' tha window, tha window, tha secon' story window! Wiv a heave an' a how and a migh'y throw! We through 'im ou' tha window!"
The boys were drunk. Very drunk. Very, very, drunk. Very, very, extremely drunk. So very, very –
Fagin!
'Yes?'
Get on with it!
A-hem, yes any way.
I walked in the door and my ears were met with the racket printed above. Over. And over again.
*Spongebob narrator voice* A few hours later.
"Ol' King Cole was a merry ol' soul, an' a merry ol' soul was 'e! 'E called for'is pipe an' 'e called' for'is bowl....and weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, through 'em ou' tha window, tha window, tha secon' story window! Wiv an heave an' a 'ow and a migh'y throw! We through 'em ou' tha window!"
I cracked.
"WILL YOU BOYS SHUDDUP!" I bellowed at them.
They went silent.
"Fagin?" asked Charley.
"Yes my dear," I ground through gritted teeth.
"Can we sing somethin' else?"
"I suppose,"
"Great!" he skipped back to the others. "C'mon guys lets sing Li'l Bunny Foo Foo!"
A huge cheer rang through the house. I filled with dread.
"No! NO! Not Little Bunny Foo Foo!" I cried, but no-one paid any heed. I covered my ears, but I could still hear them.
"Li'l Bunny Foo Foo, 'oppin' froo tha fores', pickin' up tha field mice an' boppin' them on the 'ead!" they all chorused. Dodger got up in front of them.
"Along came tha good fairy!"
"Li'l Bunny Foo Foo, I don' wanna see you pickin' up tha field mice an' boppin them on the 'ead!"
"I give you one more chance!"
"Li'l Bunny Foo Foo, 'oppin' froo tha fores', pickin' up tha field mice an' boppin' them on the 'ead!"
"Along came the Angry Farmer!"
The boys sang in a deep voice.
"Li'l Bunny Foo Foo, I'm gonna shoo' ya fer pickin' up tha field mice an' boppin' them on the 'ead!"
"Along came the Angry Farmer's Wife!"
The boys sung in a high girly voice, I could hear Charley above the rest.
"Li'l Bunny Foo Foo, I'm gonna Cook ya fer pickin' up tha field mice an' boppin' them on the 'ead!"
"Along came the Angry Farmer's Children,"
The boys stuck their fingers up their noses.
"Li'l Bunny Foo Foo, we're gonna ea' ya fer pickin' up tha field mice an' boppin' them on the 'ead!"
"Along came God!"
Oh no. This is the worse bit.
"YO! Li'l Bun Foo Foo, my man! You're now dea' along wiv all the li'l field mouse dudes you bopped on tha noggin'!"
My heart lifted and I uncovered my ears.
"Li'l Bunny Foo Foo, 'oppin' froo tha fores' pickin' up the field mice....and weeeeeeeee, through 'em ou' tha window, tha window, tha secon' story window! Wiv an heave an' a 'ow and a migh'y throw! We through 'em ou' tha window!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I cried. I looked around for something to block my ears with. My eyes landed on the last bottle of gin. I picked it up and shrugged. I raised it to my lips.
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em!