Shiver
By S.J. Koh

Characters: Sephiroth, Zack, Cloud
Rating: R

A/N An AU series of 10 drabbles set in the Shin-Ra labs. If you don't mind dark stuff and don't want any hints about what happens, DON'T read the warning.
Warning: is posted at the END of the story. So for anyone who wants to know if it contains something you don't want to read, scroll down to the end.
Summary: What if Sephiroth hadn't died at Nibelheim? What if he'd been taken captive along with Zack and Cloud?
Disclaimer: Not mine. Damn it.

Part One: Bound

Bright light seared his eyes, jerking him mercilessly to consciousness. Snarling and snapping at a hand that hovered above his lips, Sephiroth ripped at his bonds, savaging his wrists in his efforts to break free. The straps held fast.

A knife sliced with surgical precision down his chest, and he grimaced at the satisfying heat as his blood spilled over his chilled flesh. Warmth. He strained to close his eyes, but the lids were pinned open.

"Mother!" Sephiroth screamed, an unholy sound rife with rage and hatred. Where was she? Why had she allowed these fools to take him again?

Part Two: Imprisoned

Cold stone against his skin, igniting an icy fire in his veins. Chains of bitter iron, fastened brutally about wrists, ankles, and neck. He was pinioned, imprisoned. His eyes stared cruelly into the blackness, gleaming with a cold, inhuman light of hatred. There was no time in this place. Days, weeks, years--they all blended together. And he was growing weaker.

He was a lab rat, a tool useful only by virtue of his cells. A few chromosomes to judge the worth of a man. No, he was no man. He was more. Jenova's child. And they would all burn.

Part Three: Eruption

Power, welling up from the dark fury twisting at his core. Red and wrathful. Lashing out, striking and blinding, maiming and murdering. Fire and pain—flames licking at Hojo's brutes. Death whispering in the fire, sinking deep His gleaming fangs and claiming His prey. But it's not enough. Hands clutch at him, pulling him down and casting him back into the cold darkness of his prison. Blades glide in a sensual fire across his flesh, slicing deep, striking mercilessly. Sweet agony. Explosion of pain. Hands in the darkness. Fists and clubs. Power spent. Impotent fury writhing in his eyes. Beaten again.

Part Four: Broken

Raped. Physically, mentally, spiritual raped of everything he'd thought he was. Nothing belonged to him anymore. Not his body, not his mind, not his soul. They could find him anywhere. And they were breaking him. He barely knew who he was. Everything was dark. Cold. Power gone, stripped away. Strength gone, beaten down. Name…gone.

Green eyes glowing in the darkness. Name...his name was Sephiroth. He belonged to Jenova. The door opened. Light. Thrown against the wall, chains clinking, biting into his flesh. Hands gripping him, holding him down. Violated. Raped. Searing pressure. Harsh grunt of pain. Eyes closed. His name…gone.

Part Five: Awakening

Sephiroth. Blue eyes in the darkness. A memory teased at the broken wreck of his mind. His eyes snapped open. Blackness. With a low growl, his green eyes slid shut once more. The memory shattered, cutting him with the shards. He couldn't move. He was broken.

Sephiroth. Black hair, blue eyes. Bright grin. His name. That was his name. But only men had names, and he couldn't be human. If he'd been a man, they would not treat him like this. So he must be what they said, must be… Sephiroth! Sharp eyes cutting through the darkness. Stirring. Waking. "Zack!"

Part Six: Trapped

"Zackary." A broken whisper, a frigid tear. How could he have forgotten this? Jenova… "Mother," he snarled. He'd almost given in to her, had almost become the monster Shin-Ra had created him to be.

Bile rose in his throat as an image flashed across his mind. Cloud impaled and drenched in blood. Zackary collapsed, eyes ripped with despair. He'd murdered Cloud. No. Cloud had won, had almost killed him. Would have, if Shin-Ra hadn't…

Nibelheim. A setup. A way for Shin-Ra to get his hands on his three strongest warriors without battling them. And they'd fallen into the pretty trap.

Part Seven: Guilt

So Zack and Cloud were trapped here too. Sephiroth. A memory. A soft voice calling to him. The only voice that had ever soothed him, had reminded him he was human. Zack. Zack's voice had awakened him. But it was just a memory.

He'd betrayed them. He'd tried to kill them. Never again would Zack's soft tones whisper across his scarred soul. Did they know he'd been manipulated, driven mad? That he hadn't been in control? No. How could they know?

Suddenly, Sephiroth's head snapped up to the vent in the ceiling. Gleaming blue eyes stared down at him. "Zack?"

Part Eight: Oath

"We're breaking out, Seph."

Zack. Zack was alright. How many years had passed for those eyes to look so ancient? Sephiroth swallowed, struggling to force his voice past his ruined throat. "And…Cloud?"

Zack's eyes were dark. "He's comatose. They…tried to make him into you. I've got him."

So that was why they'd been captured. Anger burned inside him. "Then go. Leave me here."

"But…Seph…" Zack's voice was rough.

"My body's broken, Zack. You can't carry us both."

"But…"

"Go!"

A brooding silence. "I'll come back."

"Zack, I—" Sephiroth faltered. Paused. "Take care of him."

"I will." The blue eyes disappeared.

Part Nine: Sorrow

For days, Sephiroth simply stared into the blackness. The guards would occasionally come in with food, but he ignored them. They didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore. Zack was gone. And he'd taken Cloud with him. Sephiroth was alone.

But Zack had promised. In the days of dark, unending emptiness, Sephiroth clung to that oath and dared to hope. I'll be back.

And then a single, damning shot rang out inside his mind, and something broke within him. He screamed then. a primal cry of bitterness and grief. And he knew. Zack was dead. He and Cloud were never coming back.

Part Ten: Unbound

"Cloud…" Sephiroth breathed. Cloud was still alive. But they would come for him. Rage welled up inside Sephiroth and smoldered behind his eyes. He'd failed Zack. He would not fail Cloud. Not again. The anger swelled, giving rise to a poisonous power. Throwing back his head, he let the energy rip through him, and it burst outward in uncontrolled fury. His life was over, but Cloud's…

As the flames roiled around him, consuming his body as they brought the building down upon him, his only thought was that they were finally free. He and Zack. And Cloud. Run, Cloud. Fly.

Warnings: AU, violence, rape, character death