SM: Owns all things Twilight related.

Bad Boys Two: Jasper's Struggle

Chapter One

Alice Remembers

"I am not a good person, Alice, I have my own skeletons. They may haunt me more than they do the others-but I own them." Jasper Cullen

Alice's POV

No one ever sets out to cheat on the person they love. It's a well-known fact, however, that you will become attracted to more than one individual in your lifetime. Even so, you know not to act on those impulses. That the cost of betraying the one you love could be a 'forever' without them. Because after that trust is broken, it becomes a daily struggle on their part, to move forward in the relationship.

I have been a witness to that type of hurt and betrayal before; having seen it in my father's eyes when I was a little girl. He had found a couple of letters folded securely in an old coat pocket of my mother's. She had hidden it in the back of their bedroom closet. I remember him saying that he didn't know what had possessed him to look in it, 'She never wore that coat anymore' he had said. Nevertheless, he had this overwhelming sense that he could not get rid of. The letters he found that day had changed everything in their lives; and mine as well. I vowed that day never to cheat; I would never place that kind of pain in anyone's eyes or heart. I would never become my mother, never.

However, sometimes things just happen.

Karma bites you in the ass when you least expect it. I had indeed become my mother. I had never meant for it to happen; not even once. The attraction was too much. It was just so undeniably strong. The pull I felt when I was in his very presence started in the pit of my stomach and spread like a wildfire throughout my entire body.

The first time everything seemed to move quickly and all at once. And yet it felt as though everything lagged in slow motion. It was done and over before I realized what had even happened between us. When I finally awoke from the cloudy haze surrounding my brain, I began to cry uncontrollably.

"Get out!" I began to shout at him. At first he looked shocked, and then he was just...mad.

"You stupid fucking cunt, you wanted it as much as I did." He accused as he put his clothes back on.

"I love Jasper. I can't lose him," I sobbed. "He is my heart and soul."

"Then don't tell him, Alice. He doesn't need to know what happened and I won't bother you again for Christ's sake. If you decide you want me though, I'm always around here somewhere, working on this farm." He smiled as if he knew I would be back for more, and I had vowed that I would not.

However, again, sometimes things just happen.

I had convinced myself over four months ago that it wasn't really cheating, not unless you were married. He looked like my Jasper, yet they were significantly different in every way that had counted. Jasper was my sweet teddy bear, and Josiah, he was my explosive dynamite. On the one hand I had love and security; on the other hand I had passion and excitement. And I needed them both.

As I was walking toward the barn I saw Josiah Cullen working on the tractor. Josiah was a different kind of Cullen but a Cullen nonetheless. There was something sexy about him, and no matter how hard I tried to fight my feelings for him he was always very tempting to me. Josiah had this charisma about him. There was just something so dangerous yet exciting in those crazy blue eyes of his. He had been out mowing this large estate with the tractor all morning. Josiah was an extremely hard worker. No one could ever deny that fact.

He was standing inside the barn, shirt off, sweat flowing down his lean and lengthy body. The slight blond hair on his chest was wet and glistening. His hair was a mess, like it always was, lying in long layers of brown waves. He had on blue jeans that were faded and worn, holes in the knees. The thighs were black with grease from where he would wipe his dirty hands on them.

He looked up at me and smiled his shit eating grin. "Do you see something you like, Alice?" he said as he walked towards me wiping his hands on an old scrap of cloth this time.

"I thought you would be gone. Jasper and I have plans for today and you can't be here," I informed him while crossing my arms.

"I'm over twenty-one, Alice. I believe I can be anywhere I want to be and I don't need your permission to be there," he replied all snarky to me.

"You're an asshole," I retorted.

"What are you doing out here anyhow, Princess? I wouldn't want you to get shit on your shoes," he grinned. I shook my head at the nerve of him. "Do you think you could run that cute little ass of yours into the house and get me something cold to drink?"

I huffed… turning to do as he had asked. He had been mowing in the hot sun all morning. And it wasn't like he was going to get paid for it after all. I guess the least I could do was get him something to drink. I went to the kitchen and filled up a pitcher of water adding some cold ice to it. I grabbed a glass and headed out the door and into the barn where he stood by the tractor once more. I then poured a glass and handed it to him.

He took the cold glass from my hand running it across his forehead and then down the sides of his face trying to cool down. I had to glance away from the sight of it. My panties were getting damp from the raw sex that radiated off of this man at the moment. When I looked back up, he had his head tilted back chugging down the water in three large gulps. His Adam's apple was bobbing up and down as he drank it. I took the glass from him and refilled it. That's when I made my first real mistake today. He was reaching out to take the glass from me, but I jerked my hand forward in an upward motion throwing the cold water on his chest. I heard him gasp from the shock of the coldness as it hit him, and I smirked.

The expression on his face was mixed, and I wasn't sure how he was going to react to what I had just done to him. He stood there for a minute staring, practically burning a hole into my eyes. Then he quickly moved towards me firmly grabbing me around my upper arms and shoving me forcefully up against an old stall that horses used to be stabled in.

"You wanting to get fucked little girl?" he asked. "Because I can give you what you want you know, and I can promise you that you will like it." He was grinding his hardened cock into my stomach as he looked down into my eyes; towering over me. I unknowingly began to rub my legs together and he took that as a sign that I wanted him. And, Oh, God help me. I did want him.

He savagely forced his lips on mine and my mouth was watering from his taste alone. He thrust his tongue in my awaiting mouth and I began to fight him for dominance. He won of course. I wanted him to. "I want you, Alice. I have always wanted you," he whispered huskily into my ear. All I could hear were my whimpers as he began to bite my neck.

"No marks, Jasper, he wouldn't understand," I breathed out as he picked me up into his big arms and I wrapped my legs around his waist.

"Fuck Jasper," he said as he began to tear at the buttons on my blouse. He was becoming rough with me, and I was incredibly turned on by it. Josiah laid me down on the hay wagon and finished stripping my clothes off. "Ah," was all I could manage to mutter out. He was in complete control of everything happening. His rough hands were moving up and down my body followed closely by his extremely moist lips. He placed those talented thick lips of his on my lower ones and began to feast on the amount of juices he had flowing from within me.

"I love how wet you are for me, all for me." Josiah continued licking me like the animal I'd experienced him to be in the past; taking in every ounce that my body would give out to him. He arched my legs as my butt hovered at the edge of the hay wagon. He removed one of his hands, and I heard his pants unzip. I felt the tip of his cock as it brushed up against me. There was no going back now as I once again placed myself into this position of lust, mistake number two today, breaking my vow yet again.

He slowly pressed his way forward and up into my entrance. He let out a groan of satisfaction, pumping my body at a leisurely pace until I could adjust to his length and thickness. He momentarily looked at me with lust filled eyes as he bent my legs further and began to pound into me. I could hear as well as feel our skin as it slapped harshly together. He reclined his head and closed his eyes as he worked his magic on me. I then felt his rough hands as they quickly began to move up my legs and past my hips, then sliding them around my delicate curves and halting as they cupped my small breasts.

He twisted and tugged on my nipples with his long calloused fingers, causing me moan from the erotic sensation the friction created. "Alice," he simply said as he continued thrusting boldly inside of me. "Um…you're so fuckin' sexy. Have you ever had a cock shoved up your ass?" He could be so crude at times, effectively pissing me off.

I instantly found my voice. "No, Josiah, and I am not starting now either." Bastard!

"Not today, maybe tomorrow then," he said as he grabbed my nub causing me to cum hard. I screamed out his name and the cocky bastard smiled that evil grin of his, in total satisfaction. "That's my good girl." He leaned down to kiss me again. I could taste myself on his lips and tongue. Jasper had never permitted me to taste myself on his lips. Oh God Jasper, I can't be doing this to him. I began to fidget; nervousness was starting to take over. "Stop it Alice, Jasper will never know. Not unless you tell him that is," Josiah smirked. He knew exactly who I was thinking of and it was turning him on further.

"I Love Jasper!" I said in a raised voice while making my loyalty perfectly clear to him. This was only sex, nothing more.

"Shhhh, Jasper knows you love him," he momentarily soothed. "Now shut the fuck up, you're killing the mood." He started pounding hard into me once more and although my mind was on Jasper, when Josiah hit my sweet spot and smacked my ass, I came with a shudder.

"Oh, fuck…yeah." He said as he pumped the last few times into me before he himself released.

Once he was emptied, I sprang up grabbing my clothes, or what was left of them. "This can't happen again, Josiah," I spat with determination.

"Right Alice, you tell yourself that. Whatever it takes to get you through the day," he chuckled.

"I mean it!" I shouted. "Jasper and I are getting married this weekend so that's the last freaking time."

"Yes ma'am." Josiah winked at me while walking off all cocky.

I darted into the house and jumped into a steaming hot shower; trying to wash my sins away with suds and tears. The guilt sinking in over what I had done. I love my Jasper, so how could I do this to him? What was I thinking, doing something I had promised myself I would never do again, again?

When I was exhausted from crying I dried off and walked out of the bathroom. Jasper was sitting on the end of the bed. "Hi honey, I guess I slept in a little late today. Sometimes I just get so tired and I don't understand why." Jasper looked up at me with those big innocent blue eyes of his. I wanted to die right then and there.

"It's okay Jasper. I was running behind as well," I said as I put my arms around his neck pulling his warm body next to mine. Soon he would be my husband and I would be his faithful and loving wife. "You should get a shower honey. You're all sticky. We really need to get the central air looked at before long," I smiled sweetly at him. "I swear this heat melts off every bit of my make-up."

"Alice, sweetheart, you don't need make-up to be beautiful," Jasper said as he glanced into my eyes. "You're the most beautiful answer to the sweetest of prayers."

I began to cry. "Jasper, I have to tell you something," I sobbed out.

"What's wrong baby girl, tell me?" he pleaded with concern filling his eyes. However, I couldn't, or maybe I just wouldn't. Jasper has enough to deal with as it is and I won't allow Josiah to ruin everything for us.

"Oh, nothing…I think my nerves are just shot from worrying about our wedding day being perfect. I want everything to be like our own personal fairytale, Jasper."

Jasper began kissing me softly. "It will be. I promise you, Alice," he smiled.

However, our wedding day would not be perfect like Jasper had promised. I believe somewhere, deep down inside Jasper's heart, he had known.

As I waited on any word regarding where he was, I tried to swallow back the choking guilt that was eating me alive inside. I struggled gasping for every undeserved breath I took. My whole world was Jasper Cullen.

Finally, the reality of it all truly began to set in; Jasper wasn't coming!