"There was Lucius, and Wormtail, and Bellatrix and Mulciber, Avery, and Severus, and Rookwood and Dolohov. But do you recall the most underrated Death Eater of all?" Rodolphus sang in his shower one evening. This was the only time Rodolphus dared to sing. His wife Bellatrix was super evil and crucio'd him enough as it was. His wife didn't even love him because he just wasn't as sexy as her Voldykins. But Rodolphus had a secret as well. Although he was a Death Eater, more than anything he loved to sing. He loved to torture people, and he loved to sing! He just couldn't work out which one he liked more. It was so hard to get his head in the game of killing people when he was so busy inventing song lyrics in his head. Zac Efron was his idol. Zac Efron was able to balance both singing and basketball… But Rodolphus couldn't share his secret gay love for Zac Efron with anyone. He didn't want anyone to think he was a pedophile… 'If only I knew another pedophile,' Rodolphus thought to himself. 'They, of all people, would understand."
Rodolphus got out of the shower only to realize that his super evil bitch wife was not home. So he spent a wonderful evening trying on all of her dresses, curling his hair and applying makeup. Just then there was a knock on the door.
"Who is it?" Rodolphus asked.
"It is I, Bellatrix Lestrange. I am your wife," said the voice. "Can I come in and have a coke? I am very thirsty."
Rodolphus panicked. His wife couldn't be home! Not now!
"Uh, not now...In a minute!" He said.
But just then the door barged open, but it wasn't Bellatrix, it wasn't even Voldemort. It was Fenrir Greyback.
"You," said Rodolphus. He didn't understand how this could be possible. Usually when a person declares themselves in such a descriptive way, they have to be telling the truth.
"I can't believe you won't give me a coke!" Greyback cried. "And I've had such a bad day! I broke one of my freshly painted nails while mauling that sexy red headed boy!" Rodolphus comforted him. He may not be Madeye Moody, but he could listen to people's problems, for Rodolphus had many problems.
"And I'm not even a real Death Eater!" Greyback complained. "And nobody likes me because I'm a creepy pedophile!"
"I'm a creepy pedophile too!" said Rodolphus. "I have wet dreams about Zac Efron all the time."
"Really?" said Greyback. "I want to maul you- I mean kiss you so badly!"
But then all of a sudden Richard Simmons walked in and said, "Oh my flippin' God you guys are gayer than I am! Wow you guys are gay!"
And then Fenny and Roddy, the two Death Eater rejects, got some hot gay action.
The End.