Chapter One: Before the Reaping
I'm running through the forest faster than I ever would've thought possible and every now and then I glance back to see if I'm still being followed. I see him just as he's made his way around one of the various trees and I turn back to focus on outrunning him.
Don't get caught, Katniss. Don't let him catch you.
I continue to repeat those words over and over again as I press on, determined to get away, not that I had any specific place in mind that I could run to. I was just running, the destination didn't matter. I turn back one more time to check if I've still got a huge lead and the forest behind me is completely empty. I don't even hear his footsteps anymore. I smile smugly to myself and begin to slow, knowing that I've probably lost him, or rather, that he's probably lost me. What I wasn't prepared for was the huge tree root sticking out of the ground just a few feet in front of me. One second I'm running through the forest, the next I'm laying flat on my face in the dirt and fallen leaves that are scattered around the ground. I shoot a quick glance behind me to make sure he still hasn't caught up to me yet and sigh in relief as I realize he must still be far behind. As I begin to get up, I turn to face forward again and immediately bump my head into something solid that I was positive wasn't there before. When I realize who it is, I scream. Not in fear, but in surprise. To make matters more irritating, I find myself on the ground yet again as I look up into the bright grey eyes of my best friend, Gale Hawthorne.
He can't contain the obnoxious laugh that's escaping from his lips. I roll my eyes as I push myself off of the ground, ignoring his offered hand.
"You alright, Catnip?" He finally asks, after successfully ending his fit of laughter.
I glare at him and nod my head slightly, still angry that he was able to get ahead of me without me noticing. I might be losing my touch. I shake my head in frustration only to find Gale barely keeping a straight face. I try and stay serious, but staying mad at Gale is almost impossible and we both end up smiling at each other with ridiculously large grins plastered across our faces, looking like a bunch of idiots. He laughs quietly to himself, whether it's at or with me, I'll never know, before finally breaking the silence by saying, "Good. Oh, and by the way, I win."
I attempt to sock him in the arm, but he manages to move out of the way just in time and I end up slamming my fist into the nearest tree trunk instead. It didn't hurt much, but I seized the opportunity that was presented to me and went with it.
"Dammit, Gale!" I shout while looking down at my hand in an attempt to hide my smile. He automatically turns serious and reaches out to inspect my hand. While he's focusing on trying to examine it, I take advantage of his preoccupied state and push him hard enough to make him fall back without him getting hurt too badly. Then, I make a run for it again. I turn around after I've gotten a couple of feet ahead only to see him close behind with a huge smile on his face. I turn to face forward again, relieved that I haven't upset him with my little act.
After about 10 minutes of running I'm exhausted and begin to slow. It only takes Gale a couple of seconds to catch up and tackle me to the ground. We're both laughing in between gasps for air after all that running. I try to wrestle him off of me, but he's too big. At 6'3", with a body that's pretty much solid muscle, it's no wonder I can't get him off of me. He's huge. That's not to say I'm not strong or anything. I'm taller than most girls my age, standing at about 5'7" and I've definitely got more than enough muscle after the countless days of hunting and climbing trees with Gale, but it still doesn't even come close to Gale's strength.
Gale has me pinned to the ground with his legs placed on either side of my waste as he keeps my hands held together tightly with one of his and has them placed above my head. He slowly wipes away a smudge of dirt off my cheek but instead of removing his hand afterward, he leaves it pressed against my face. We stare into each other's eyes and I'm not sure what to think of what's happening. Gale has been my best friend for many years now and I can't imagine my life without him, but I've never really thought about anything other than having Gale as a best friend. Not because I can't see myself liking him that way, but because I can't risk losing him if he didn't reciprocate the feelings and things eventually got too awkward to continue being friends. That didn't seem like a risk worth taking so I decided to just not think about it.
But it's moments like these where I can't keep those feelings or thoughts from my mind. I look up into Gale's beautiful grey eyes and feel like I can see straight through him all the way to the center of his being. All the way to his soul. Gale and I share a bond that I've never had with anyone else. He knows me better than I know myself sometimes, and I know I know him just as well. I look up into his bright grey eyes and I feel safe. I feel the love I know he has for me, even if it isn't the kind that I sometimes think I have for him. With that last thought, I'm pulled out of my jumbled up thoughts in my head and back into the present, back to reality. I'm brought back to my current state, laying flat on my back; being pinned to the floor by the lovely Mr. Hawthorne. I can't stop the blush that suddenly rushes to my cheeks and to be honest, I'm not quite sure what exactly brought it on. But from Gale's point of view, I probably seem like his pathetic best friend who hasn't been in a situation like this with a guy before. I immediately realize that's probably exactly what he's thinking because he starts laughing again and I'm sure it's at me. I look away, embarrassed by my body's reaction to Gale being on top of me and frustrated with the fact that my face is like an open book with everything I'm feeling or thinking displayed for the world to see at all times. Gale, not being one to miss anything, sees my embarrassment and almost immediately stops laughing. He looks down at me with a gentle expression and then slowly begins to lean a little closer. I freeze beneath him, shocked by this sudden change of events. He continues to bend down until our noses are touching and I can feel his breath against my face and then we wait. I stay, unmoving and unsure of what to say or do, and he stays pressed against me, measuring my reaction to what's happening.
Gale is the first to break the silence, and he does it by simply whispering my name.
"Katniss.."
He pauses and closes his eyes. Then, he opens them and our eyes meet. I try to decipher what he's thinking or what he might be trying to say but my mind draws a blank. Frankly, this is all so weird and unexpected that I have no idea what could possibly be going through his head right now.
He starts again, "Katniss.. I don't know how else to say this so I'm just going to come out and say it.. Run away with me. Please. I know this is kind of out of nowhere, but aren't you sick of living the way we do? Aren't you sick of living the way the Capitol wants us to live and having to follow all their stupid rules? We don't have to live like this!"
He goes from whispering to shouting within seconds and then he's on a roll and the shouting just keeps coming. I try to stop him and say something but before I can even get a word out, he's already cut me off and started talking again.
"We could run away, right now. We could bring our families with us and just leave. Anywhere would be better than District 12. We can hunt like we always do and we can build a little cabin somewhere in the woods or anywhere you want. It could work, I know it! I can't go through another year like this. I can't handle all the fear that the Capitol causes everyone to feel. I can't. No, I won't, sit through another reaping with the fear of my name being drawn, or worse, yours. I can't lose you, Catnip. I won't."
His eyes are blazing with this sudden emotion and they seem watery, as if he is almost about to cry, but I know he'd never allow himself to cry in front of me. I don't think anyone has seen Gale cry. At least, I know I haven't. This is the most emotion Gale has put into anything in a long time and it's about running away.. With me. He gets off of me and moves to sit beside me and all I can think to do is hug him, so I do. I don't know how else to make him feel better. I've never been good with words and I've never seen Gale like this before, but it seems to work because when I pull away, he's got a small smile on his face and he seems to have calmed down a bit.
"Gale," I begin as calmly as possible, "I understand what you're saying, and you know I hate the Capitol just as much as you do, but let's be realistic here.. We can't run away. It would never work, and we'd just end up getting caught and punished. I can't take that risk with my family and I know you won't want to either. It's a nice thought, but we can't. The reaping is in four days, it won't go unnoticed if all of a sudden, both of our families have disappeared."
He looks at me with a strange look on his face before shaking his head slightly and then looking back at me with his signature Gale smirk. I can sense some hurt behind his expression but it disappears as quickly as it came. I knew whatever that little episode was, it was over now and my Gale was back, I just wasn't sure what made him leave in the first place. I always knew he had a problem with the Capitol, and especially President Snow. We both did, but I'd never heard him talk like that before. About leaving and starting over. I shook my head to clear it and started to get up. It really was a nice thought. I'd love to live with Prim and my mother, along with Gale and his family, knowing that they were all safe and far away from the capitol and its sick ways of punishment, such as the Games. But the idea is still ridiculous. Things are never going to change, and the two of us running away with our families would do more harm than good. I'm standing up but Gale is still on the ground, staring off into space with a thoughtful expression on his face. I move to stand in front of him.
"Earth to Gale!" I shout and then smile at him as he looks up at me with an amused expression. I hold out my hand and he takes it willingly as I move to pull him up off the floor.
"Thanks." He says with a small smile, and then that's it for talking. We're back into our zone, where communication isn't necessary. Glances work just as well, especially since I know pretty much exactly what he's trying to say through any glance he shoots my way just as well as I would if he'd spoken the thought aloud. We start jogging back toward the fence, stopping by all the traps we set along the way before we decided to play our little game. As we approach the fence -which is wrapped in electrical wires even though I've never once seen them on in the 16 years of my existence- we've surprisingly got quite the haul, especially since we spent most of the afternoon messing around instead of actually hunting. We've caught two squirrels and six rabbits.
We divide the food evenly between us and head over to the Hob to sell some of it before we go home for the day. As we walk in to the familiar building, I immediately spot Greasy Sae behind her booth selling her infamous wild dog stew. I make my way over to her and once she sees Gale and me, she turns to make us each a bowl. We both take a seat and begin to eat. I devour the soup before me faster then I should have, and I burned my tongue in the process, but I couldn't help it. I didn't realize how hungry I was. Then again, I hadn't eaten all day. I look up from my empty bowl to see Gale has done the same, and finished just as fast as I have. We smile at each other before reaching into our pockets for change but Greasy Sae stops us before we have the chance to pull any money out.
"It's on the house today. You two look famished. Take care of yourselves, ya hear? I don't want you two getting sick or anything before this year's reaping," She says.
Gale is the first to respond and he gives her what looks like a charming smile- but I know him better than that and I can see the annoyance behind it- before saying "Thanks."
I nod my appreciation and we both get up to leave. I decide that I'm only going to sell one of my rabbits and the squirrel, but Gale decides to keep his. He's got a larger family than I do. Once I've placed the money I've just made into my pocket I turn to Gale to let him know I'm ready to leave and we both make our way out of the Hob and down to the Seam. My house is closest so I need to talk quickly if I want to get any answers out of him. I turn to look at him and I catch him staring at me with a small smile on his face. I smile back, almost shyly before asking him what's been on my mind.
"Hey, Gale?" I ask.
"Yeah?"
"Don't be angry with me for bringing this up again, but I'm just curious why you are so touchy about the Games this year? I mean, I know it bothers you, but it bothers everyone. You've never been this worked up over it before.."
I notice a little late that he's stopped walking and I turn to walk back over to him only to find him deep in thought. I give him time though. Finally, he seems to snap out of his thoughts and back to me and our conversation and he looks up with somewhat of a pained expression, one that I really wasn't expecting. I immediately regret bringing it up. I don't like seeing Gale like this. I open my mouth to say something, but he's already started speaking.
"Katniss, you don't understand, I was being serious when I asked you to run away with me. I've been thinking about this.. You.. Us a lot lately. I can't just sit through another reaping. Rory and Vick will eventually come of age and their names will be put into the drawing and Posy soon afterwards. This is my last year. Don't you understand? This is my last year. How am I supposed to just sit back and watch if either of them is called? I won't be able to do anything. You've still got two more years, what if your name is called? Katniss, I can't lose you. That's why I've been so 'touchy' about it..." he says the last part sarcastically, "I can't watch everyone I love go through that when I'll be standing safely in the audience. I won't be able to protect you after this year."
"Gale, I understand why you're worried and I'm.. Sorry." I say awkwardly. "I'm sorry it has to be this way, but there's nothing we can do to change anything. This is how it's always been and this is how it's going to stay as long as the Capitol is in control." By the time I finish speaking, my voice is just above a whisper and I look down awkwardly at my intertwined fingers, unsure of what else to say to him.
We've both been quiet for so long that I have to look up to see what he's thinking. He seems to be having some kind of internal struggle with himself.. As if he's fighting with what he wants to say next.
Finally, his eyes meet mine and he seems to have decided what he wants to say.
"Katniss, I.. it could.." he pauses and takes a breath, "Never mind," he says and then runs his hands through his hair in what looks like frustration as I try to understand the agitated expression on his face. He shakes his head slightly before continuing, "Never mind, it can wait.." he says almost uncertainly. He turns to leave, and I stand there in confusion, unsure of what's just happened and what exactly he was trying to say.
"I'll see you later, Catnip" he says with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes and then he walks away, leaving me at the gate in front of my house in a state of utter confusion.
I turn to walk towards my house, worried that Gale's agitated state has to do with more than just the upcoming reaping and unsure of how to feel about his strange behavior. As I close the front door, the last thing that goes through my mind is how do I help Gale? I need to be there for him like he's always been there for me. I need to be there for my best friend.