Rules of Teiko Middle School

by lime green lily

Teiko is home for the Generation of Miracles - but not everyone can survive it. These are rules handed out by the GoM themselves about certain people in their team. Warning: Failure to comply may result in loss of sanity. Thank you - GoM

1. Akashi Seijuro

A/N: I couldn't sleep. Then, my mind wandered to rules. And then, I wanted to read fics about the GOM back in Teiko Middle School. I can't find any! At all! So, I thought... there would certain rules laid out for the 'normal' people in Teiko. There would be written and spoken rules.

Warning: Rated T for Akashi (Yes, that's reason enough)

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AKASHI SEIJURO

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1. Do not call him short. Ever.

(Unless you have suicidal wishes, then go ahead.)

2. Do not disobey him. Ever.

("Of course not, Aka-chin."

"People are too scared of Akashichi to disobey."

"Not me."

*SNIP*

"*cough*Ahominechi*cough*"

"Farewell, Dai-chan, it was nice knowing you."

"Oi, oi,"

*snip*snip*

"We'll visit your grave, Aomine-kun."

"Final snacks, Mine-chin?"

"You're going to die. I told you not to anger a Sagittarius. "

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"Ara? You dare to disobey me, Daiki? How about I demonstrate what I do to those who disobey me."

*snip*snip*SNIP*

"NOOOOO!")

3. Do not look at him in the eye.

(Unless you want to die a merciless death. It wouldn't be quick. It wouldn't be painless. It may take years, but the nightmares will never leave.)

4. Do not even dare slander his name

(And since he is of the Generation of Miracles, then the name is considered his and not to be tainted.)

5. Do not touch what is his.

(Pick a limb. It's all you will have left.)

6. Do not come near what is his.

(Death is too good of a punishment.)

7. Do not violate what is his.

(You will cease to exist. Your body will never be found. Ever.)

8. Kuroko is his.

("Eh? That's not fair Akashichi!"

"Ara? Are you questioning me, Ryota?"

"Hii! Of course not!"

"Mou! Tetsu-kun is supposed to be ours. Sharing is caring, nee?")

9. Do not question where he hides his scissors, why he needs them, or plainly question him.

(Lest he shows you what it is for.

WARNING: Losing of limbs or life is expected. We are not to be blamed for any harm done to one's person. It is his/her stupidity.

Thank you.

Please note some of the therapists listed below if ever you survive an encounted with Akashi-sama.)

10. He is absolute.

(That is true. Period.)

10.5. Never, ever comment on the height.

(And yes, that's needed to be repeated twice.

Some idiots don't know that the first and last rule is to be strictly followed.)