Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

I suppose I'm somewhat obligated to let my readers know that I am working on chapters for my other existing stories. Wake in the Clouds Chapter 8 will be up in a short time. School is about to start again and I want to get this all up before I go through hell and back, again.

In the meantime, please enjoy a thought piece.

ALG

Summer Wandering

by Atemusluckygal

The rain poured on, and I was then around seven blocks east of the Game Shop. But I was only vaguely aware of the fact. It didn't matter. Nobody was looking for me, and the summer shower soothed me as I ventured further and further into the city. I hadn't even noticed how far I'd trekked until I saw the gates of Domino City College, where my younger companion and his friends studied, come up on my left.

It was perhaps close to two or three in the morning by the time I passed the campus. Most of the street lights flickered rapidly from dim to fully bright, while the rest remained dark, and they all buzzed eerily loud. There lurked a creeping possibility of running into trouble at this hour, as Domino was well-known for a litany of troublemakers and motorcycle gangs, but somehow it did not daunt me at all.

I came here because I simply could not keep my thoughts completely private while in the close proximity of Yugi's curious mind. And these were thoughts that I could only fully bring out and explore, solely on my own, without any possibility of interference. I felt as if I were somehow safer outside in the rain a ways from home, than under his roof but my inner musings hindered from fear of being discovered. Though Yugi and I no longer share minds, our thoughts and feelings had become so familiar to each other that Yugi would know in an instant that I was mentally dwelling on something, and it wouldn't take long for him to figure out exactly what. Or, rather, who.

Now, away from home, I could really focus my thoughts on the one that mattered: a lovely young woman who had had my attentions for… well… I was not sure if I even remembered when exactly it started to happen, but I found myself admiring her in a way I hadn't admired anybody that I had ever known. She carried a certain aura about her that glowed with pure spirit and strength. It was as simple as being a part of her sincere personality that I greatly enjoyed. She was sound in mind, body, and spirit.

And she also happened to be one of Yugi's oldest friends.

Coming out here in the small hours of the morning, in the pouring rain, to nurse my esteem for her had been proving to help me none in staying distant from inappropriate feelings. Nevertheless I felt compelled to excuse myself into the dark and desolate abyss, to "get it out of my system", as they say…

I couldn't possibly even consider taking my actions any further than internal ideas and platonic interactions. I just couldn't. That would be the wrong move for someone in my position – I felt like a permanent guest in this world of which the time and place were completely foreign to me. There was no way that I could dare cause unnecessary drama and hurt just because I simply lacked the discretion to avoid doing so. I would be imposing so heavily on the lives of them both, and I didn't want that.

Of course, it did not help that even in my complete obliviousness, I could sense that at some point Téa had some fairly obvious interest in me beyond the friendship we had. The stress of dealing with the world's peril had separated me from my emotions and, though not maliciously, I had pushed her aside. I was cold and focused but not heartless, and I had the feeling she understood, though I was sure it upset her. I could only hope to justify my actions (or lack thereof) with the fact that I could have put her in serious danger if I showed any hint of special attention to her, and being constantly watched by the enemy made it impossible to keep anything of the sort hidden. Giving the adversary that kind of advantage would have possibly impacted the fate of the world, literally.

The campus garden was where I mindlessly ended up next. It wasn't very large, but it did house beautiful roses, tulips and daffodils of various colors, each flower catching raindrops on their petals. I'd swear that if Téa were beside me at that moment, I would have reached through the gate and picked a handful to give her. They were naturally pure and lovely, just like she was. There was something about her type of beauty that you wouldn't find in a magazine or television screen. She was, to me, a rare flower. She was beautiful in the way that she had wonderful features – fair complexion, bright blue eyes and a slim fit figure – but the most alluring thing about her was the comfort of approaching her. She had attractiveness that was warm and welcoming, and it made her glow both inside and out.

If smiles could spread arms out wide to hug you, hers would squeeze you every time she looked your way. That was the power of her smile. Somehow whenever she grinned at me, she was giving me the gift of optimism and, more significantly, invincibility. The world would not be standing high upon its pillars without her. I didn't think she knew that, nor if I told her that she would believe it or take it seriously. But I would bet my bottom dollar on it.

The sky rumbled deeply in the distance. This was my favorite kind of weather – summer thunderstorms. I had always thought they were really neat, and it wasn't too cold to stand outside in the middle of it. I was, of course, drenched through every layer of clothing, but it felt magnificent. Yugi would tell me to stay inside during thunderstorms because he was afraid that I would be struck by lightning. Funny as that sounded, I supposed that with my luck, the fear didn't seem as irrational. This would probably be the one and only time I would be able to enjoy standing beneath the almighty thunder clouds of Domino City and deal with the slim chance that my head could be zapped.

I crossed Autumn Street, not bothering to wait until the little white man in the cross light told me when I could go. Sitting atop the long wide staircase was the Domino City Museum, a symbolic monument of my whirlwind journey to my past. It even took me back to the first time I went, which was of course with Téa. It was even her idea, and she showed me the brochure to the exhibit having full faith that I would find something there. How long would it have taken for me to figure out my past if Yugi didn't scheme up that outing for the two of us? Would I have, at all? Was it really destiny that brought me to Téa, so she could show me the way?

None of this helped. It only made me fonder of her all the more… the possibility that the Gods themselves guided our paths to cross. Why else would it happen? Why else would I be feeling this way towards her if there were no significance or purpose? It seemed that from one answer obtained, a thousand new questions arose. And the Gods preferred to not give the answers away.

It wasn't a straight shot to the museum, however. At the time, I didn't quite feel ready to face the possibility that my world could be turned upside down by an exhibit at the local museum – so we explored downtown Domino City a bit. We got coffee, went to the music store, fed the pigeons in the park, saw a sci-fi movie, and even traded Duel Monsters cards at a card shop.

The arcade sat just a hundred feet beyond campus, which brought up a tremendous memory of seeing her dance that day. I would never, ever deny that that moment gave me a much different kind of joy than when I dueled, or even when I finally learned who I was. I had only even known Téa for about a year or so, but she was somehow able to distract me from the mystery of my identity that lasted five millennia. It almost sounded unrealistic that anyone could do that. And I did remember her sore-loser opponent, Johnny Steps, propositioning her for a date as a prize for his "assured" victory against me in a duel, and I recalled feeling more furious at his objectification of Téa than his condescending nature towards my threat as a dueling opponent.

That was perhaps the first real red flag I noticed, suspecting that I did feel something rather inappropriate towards the young woman, as my protective instincts went ablaze (but well-controlled). I would rarely get to the point when a mere verbal insult would boil my blood and even rarer still would I feel like I could be physically violent, but to be honest – it took a whole lot of willpower and self-control to keep my fist from concaving his nose into his face. And none of those violent feelings had anything to do with the way he was insulting me.

As if the sky could hear my thoughts, an especially deep rumble of thunder erupted from what felt like directly above me. It made me smile. Thunder always sounded like impending danger to many, and since I have faced more actual danger than most people I know, the thought of the "sound" of it was rather amusing.

The rain insistently poured on the Earth's floor, heavier than it had been. Most people were inside and cozy in their dry blankets, sleeping peacefully to the sound of pelting raindrops on their roofs and windows. Yugi was possibly one of them. I would hate to be the one to keep him up worrying about me while I am merely wandering the city to muse over my tangled thoughts and emotions.

I continued walking away from the Game Shop, however. I knew I needed more time, for there was more to reminisce, and much more to contemplate.

About a mile or so down Howard Blvd I began to see the sign for the west-most entrance of the Domino City Airport. Through this airport we had traveled all over the globe, all in search of the next step in my journey to connect with my past and to right a wrong somewhere in the world. We went to San Francisco, India, Egypt…

Ah, Egypt. My spirit's place of origin, and what was my home and kingdom millennia ago. Where I thought I would be leaving this world to go – when everyone, including the Ishtars, thought I would be leaving. When I decided that I wouldn't – couldn't – leave this world behind. It was even Téa's words, after Tristan's brash words and Yugi's reassuring ones, which planted the seed of doubt in my mind when I was ready to step through the portal.

"Pharaoh… I know that walking through that door means your spirit will finally be free, and it's all for the best. But it doesn't seem fair. I mean, I feel like we were all just getting to know you! In fact… you were just beginning to know yourself, and now you're being taken away from us!"

Through thick and sticky tears, she continued, "I know we should be happy for you, but it's really hard to do that when you're losing your best friend and you don't understand why it has to be that way…"

I just couldn't take another step. It was absolutely unbearable to hear what I had just heard coming from the positive, cheerful, and caring young woman I had come to know in the past few years. I could hear her heart shattering in her voice. My own heart was struggling to stay intact.

I had started to wonder, would the Gods really summon me to the afterlife, knowing how much pain it would cause all of us, the Saviors of Egypt?

I turned to fully face my friends, showing my back to the lighted portal that beckoned my spirit forth. They all had tears in their eyes and were struggling to hide them. Téa stared into my eyes the moment I faced her, with her hand clutching the cartouche with my name on it. Her eyes were glossy from tears flowing freely. I looked in the eyes of all my friends, and realized in that moment that I couldn't leave… not just yet.

"Ishizu, my heart and soul belong here. I cannot go."

The room was eerily silent for a few seconds, as the shock took its hold on each individual. Ishizu evidently did not expect a shift in events that were dictated by fate, and so she tried to reason with me. "My Pharaoh, I understand that it is difficult to return to your world after developing emotional ties with this one. But staying here could mean trapping your soul here for several more millennia!"

I watched as my friends stared at me with bated breath. I saw the gleam of hope in each of their eyes, and the uncertainty in Ishizu's.

"My Pharaoh, I simply do not know of another opportunity to rest in the afterlife. It is even possible that you may never return."

I shut my eyes tightly, feeling the weight of my ultimatum, of my friends' hopeful gazes, my strong affections… and the yearn to rest. But also, I knew of my yearn to live a normal life as a normal young man in the modern world that I had come to love. That was what I truly wanted.

"I can't leave. This is my home now."

The Eye of Udjat flashed a bright light for a fraction of a second, before the doors to the afterlife slowly began to close. Every single person in the room watched me anxiously as I stood there, unmoving, as my chance to enter my resting place was disappearing as seconds went by. The wash of light from the portal dissipated into darkness as the doors narrowed to a close, sealing off any gap possible. The Eye returned to its previous state of thousands of years of age and corrosion.

Moments of pitch blackness were illuminated by Marik lighting a torch and holding it slightly above his head. In that limited light, I caught the wide grins of Joey and Tristan and the tears of joy from Yugi and Téa. Even the Ishtars seemed relieved in a way. I knew I had made a foolish decision, but it was one I would make over and over again, and I would never regret it as long as I lived. Which, apparently, could be a very long time.

The next thing I heard was the urgent shuffling of feet, before I nearly had the wind knocked out of me by Yugi's desperate clinging embrace. He squeezed me tightly, sobbing feverishly and openly. In fact it triggered my own emotions that I struggled to keep at bay. I returned the physical contact, holding him close to me, relishing in every moment of closeness with him that I thought I'd never experience again.

More feet shuffling, and suddenly all my friends were there, showing their happiness that I had chosen to stay. Joey lightly punched me in the arm, Tristan patted me on the shoulder, and Yugi only hugged me tighter.

Téa stood there, relatively distant from me, her face blank and unreadable. It was possible that she was still in a state of shock, or even denial that this was all real. It was as if she didn't want to believe it for herself and was unable to figure out how to react. At least, that was my perception.

When Yugi finally let go was the first sign of movement and emotion from Téa that I saw. She walked up to me slowly, and in the cover of darkness I did not notice her approaching hand until I felt it lightly touch my cheek. The dim yellow torchlight glimmered in her blue eyes as fresh tears appeared. The way she connected with me at that moment, her face an intimate length from mine, with a stare so intense it could ignite a fire of passion and strength, I almost felt as if she were going to kiss me right there on the spot.

Whether or not that was on her mind, she instead drew me into her own embrace, sliding both her arms beneath mine and encircling my back, resting her face against mine. Her body was trembling. I held her firmly, enjoying the silent communication between us.

The rest of our friends watched quietly, with elated expressions on their faces.

The sun's rays began to barely peak in the city through the low rain clouds. The rain had lightened up significantly. I was beginning to finally feel cold from walking around in drenched clothes for a few hours, so I turned on my heel and began my trek back to the Game Shop.

On the way back, I counted the ways that Tea Gardener made me feel like a better person. Her strength, her smile, her encouragement, her feisty way of tackling life's challenges, her fierce disposition when something angered her or threatened her or her friends, her sensibilities, her caring nature… of all the wonderful things I could think of, her standalone trait was her heart made of gold. That was the unmistakable truth, and no one who knew her could deny it.

Tea's true heart was evident to me when she was the only one, out of all who were with me when I…

…made the biggest blunder of my life, and carelessly tampered with dark magic that trapped Yugi's soul in its seal…

…who showed me the light to guide my way to rescuing Yugi and righting my wrongs. Without her, I could have easily sunken into an inconsolable piece of waste, swallowed in darkness that ate away at my soul. And Yugi wouldn't be here, and the world would be overtaken by a giant evil serpent and monsters running rampant. There was no way I could have found the strength to victory without her patience, encouragement, and unconditional love. And best of all, she knew with unwavering faith, that that was what I needed, even when I turned her away.

It was nearly six in the morning by the time I tiptoed through the Game Shop doors and up the stairs to the bedroom that Yugi and I shared. Yugi was fast asleep under his sheets, snoring lightly. I peeled off my wet clothes, threw them in the hamper, and found a t-shirt and a warm pair of sweatpants. I crawled into bed, still restless as ever, still mulling over my night of wandering and pondering, and was astonished as to how I still did not know how to go about my feelings. Logic and reason aside, I would have felt much better knowing that she knew that I admired her in the way that I did.

It was rather amusing that I actually thought I could do away with these thoughts just by roaming the streets of Domino at night, and spending every second thinking of just how remarkable she was as a human being and an immeasurably valuable person in my life.

Someday, I hoped, she would know.

-END-