Goodbye my almost lover
Cool wetness slid down Jenny's cheeks, her tears looked like pinpricks of sparkling brightness, as if she was crying light. A choked sob came from her mouth as she held Julian's hand which was becoming less and less substantial, like he was returning to the shadows he had come from.
Goodbye my hopeless dream
There had never been a way for them, that was what Jenny told herself, it could never work. But the one thing that flourishes most from hopeless situations is hope, and when one allows oneself to hope for the hopeless, soul-crushing belief becomes an inevitability.
I'm trying not to think about you
No matter how hard she tries, she can't forget. Jenny learns to deal with it, and sometimes, she is happy; but at night her subconscious doesn't let her to forget. At night she dreams, and her mind is her hell. But she keeps dreaming, dreaming Julian into the light whenever she catches a spare second between nightmares, because even hell has a little bit of heaven in it.
Can't you just let me be?
Memories haunt her and images taunt her. Everything goes back she sees, hears, or feels goes to the enigmatic boy with the otherworldly blue eyes. Even in death he torments her, unintentional though it is.
So long my luckless romance
But she can't be angry. No, when she thinks of him she just feels empty. The exact second before she wakes she bids him goodbye, and it kills her that that is still the only thing she can say to him. Goodbye.
My back is turned on you
So she forgets; or rather, pretends to. Her friends worry, her parents worry, so she puts on the difficult façade of a normal person. And why not? Julian was the master of pretend; she should be able to draw on that for her one deception. Her night-time hell becomes a haven because it is the one time when she can remember, truly, completely, and with wild abandon.
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Sometimes she runs through different scenarios of what could have been, but none work out. It seems that heartbreak on at least one party was inescapable, but didn't she always know that deep down in here heart of hearts? Didn't Julian know? Then why oh why did he start this? Jenny and Julian hoped and dreamed, all the while knowing what loomed on the horizon. That's the problem with hopers and dreamers, they never learn.
Almost lovers always do
And that's the moral of this story. Hoping and dreaming lead to pain. Or is it? Is the heartache worth the experience? Even when the experience wasn't so wonderful to begin with? And what of last minute forgiveness and emotional gifts exchanged? Does it add up in the end? The pain isn't worth it, unless you have someone to share it with; and Jenny does, in her dreams.