Three Little Words
Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough
-Snow Patrol : 'Chasing Cars'
He thought he could win her back every time. Those three little words had meant so much the first time he had used them, but sooner or later, they lost their luster. He used them so much with no effort, no though anymore. As though those words meant nothing anymore- as though they were just a filler for what he really wanted to say.
It hadn't always been that way. She could remember a time when he had struggled to say the words, when they had been so hard to utter that he could barely look her in the eye. Those times when he would start and never finish made her heart pound. Each time his lips began to form those three words, she would stop talking, she would be quiet, trying to let him get it out. But every time, he would have to stop. He would blush brightly and say something stupid such as, "I have to go to the bathroom," or "Is it hot in here, or something?"
She sooner or later was on the verge of cracking when he, for the umpteenth time, couldn't say it. She had let out a long sigh, surprising him, and instead muttered a few words of her own at him. "I love you, okay?"
The shocked look on Duncan's face was slowly replaced by a wry smile. "I love you too." And from then on, the words hadn't been so hard to say. They had been easy, and they felt good to hear, almost as good it felt for him to speak, almost as good as they felt rolling off his tongue. He loved those three little words. Whenever she was upset, they came in handy. Whenever she was mad, they would appear. Each time she wanted to hit him, the three words would bring her back to reality and cause her to whisper them back, to clutch onto him for dear life.
Because what if no one else ever said that to her again? What if he was all she was ever going to have? She had to keep him by her side. Because before, he hadn't meant as much, but now he knew. He knew how to destroy her, he knew how to break her down. He knew her weak point and it was obvious to them both that it would always make her cower and forgive him. Those three words meant everything. They signified forever just as much as they reminded her that the end could come at any time.
But then he started using it too much. He would speak the words, he would smile lovingly, would caress her cheek just as he always had, but something was different. Unlike yesterday, the words wouldn't reach his eyes anymore. She told herself she was just imagining things. It made more sense that she was just over reacting than to ever think that he had given up on her.
What had happened to his embarrassment? Before, when he spoke the words, a light blush word adorn his cheeks. His eyes would cloud over and he would let his breath hitch in anticipation for her to speak the words back, to complete the ritual and make it whole. But he didn't wait for her to complete it anymore. She didn't need to respond, and he never complained. Sometimes she would wonder if he was really listening when she said it back. She knew the words reached her own eyes, she could feel it too strongly for it to not be that way. Every time she said it to him, she meant it. But it came for him so easily that she wondered what they meant anymore.
It had felt stupid to question it when he kissed her, when he touched her, when he made love to her and whispered sweet nothings into her ear. It was completely stupid to question him, to question the fact that they were both mutual about the situation. She had once asked, "Do you like her?" and truly feared what he might say next. She felt so stupid for questioning those three little words, but she wasn't one to hold back. But yet his face was passive.
"Do you not trust me?"
How could he say that? Well, of course she… did she? She wasn't truly sure herself, but she wasn't going to let him know that. She told him that of course she did, of course I trust you, Duncan, because I love you. She waited a few seconds, taking long, deep breathes to calm herself. Why wouldn't she trust Duncan? Why shouldn't she trust him? He had proved to her that he could be sweet, that he could change her for the better, that he could take her breath away with one simple kiss. So who was she to question him?
She was surprised when he never returned the three words. That was the first time she ever cried over him. That night, she sat in her bed and cried. Because what happened to the words? Where were they to reassure her? How was she supposed to trust him if he wouldn't say them back? She shuddered to herself, chewing her lip and wishing that she would just fall asleep. But that was impossible when she was this upset.
She fell asleep at 4:50 am on a tear stained pillow.
It was odd, the way he could affect her. She used to care less about other girls- but now she noticed them everywhere. Most especially her, the one she had suspected from the beginning. She hated to think that maybe he was whispering sweet nothings in her ear as well, that she was receiving the same amount of attention as Courtney was, that she was moaning due to his touches, that they were lusting after each other just the same way she and Duncan did…
It made her sick. Physically and emotionally unstable to even imagine him saying those three little words to someone else. He was starting to make her sick. But she wouldn't admit it. She saved her tears for later, saved her fears and woes for her pillow at night, her head the only place to sort out her broken thoughts and ripping heart.
And then, one day, it happened. Her fears were confirmed- and he said he didn't give a shit.
She had never really given much thought to term 'ripping someone's heart out'. It had always seemed like a poor way of putting it. But then she understood. Because she was very sure he had killed her right then. She wanted to let out a scream, but no words would form- nothing but bottled up tears and an animalistic cry that hurt her to hear. She sounded crazy. She sounded hurt. It was as though someone had slashed her to pieces but her left her alive, to suffer, to watch, to feel unbelievable pain that wasn't meant for someone like her. She knew her body couldn't take it.
Three little words. Lies, all lies.
He thought he could win her back every time. And he could. He did. Until the point where she was utterly broken. The words lost their meaning, lost everything that could have been, that was. "Do you not trust me?"
No, she didn't.
But she had put too much faith into those three words.
Authors Note:
Okay… yeah…
I would like to thank my jackass neighbor, William. You asshole. Never, ever, ever, practice with your band until three in the morning again. I woke up totally pissed off and had this dumbass song stuck in my head! I actually liked this song before you ripped it apart. But, I can't shun you completely, because you inspired a one-shot. Damn you! XP (p.s. Your drum solo sucked dude. So go practice in someone else's garage)
But really, I mean… this one-shot kind of pisses me off. Maybe I'm just angry right now. And I know this sounds wrong… but in this story, I kind of hated Courtney… so I left her like, in a total shitty ending… sorry, Court…
:) But thanks for reading!
First Draft Finished: 1/9/11
Final Draft Finished: 1/9/11
Published: 1/9/11
Fandom: Total Drama series
Disclaimer: Total Drama Island and all its characters are property of their respective owners.
©2010 Cereal-Killa