A/N: My friend and I wrote this awhile back. It's pure crack.
enjoy :)
*The Unfortunate, Sad, Not-So-Great Life of One Obi-Wan Kenobi*
Dear Diary,
became a padawan today
master keeps causin' trouble with the jedi council
Dear Diary,
went to tatooine today
master came back to the ship with this random kid
Dear Diary,
returned to coruscant
master tried to trade me for the kid
Dear Diary,
went to save queen
master brought the kid along
master killed by maul
chopped maul in half
now i'm left with the kid
Dear Diary,
am now master to a super-powerful padawan with attitude problems
Dear Diary,
padawan is in love with the senator
just great
Dear Diary,
jumped out window today to track bounty hunter
assassin killed by dart
Dear Diary,
went to kamino
humongous clone army
found bounty hunter
got dragged off the edge of the island
almost killed by bounty hunter
Dear Diary,
captured by dooku
suspended in electrical thing
dooku gloated
Dear Diary,
tied to a pole
padawan arrived with senator, both were tied to a pole too
nearly eaten by huge cricket thing
nearly killed by droids
escaped with clones
senator fell out of ship
Dear Diary,
went to catch dooku
defeated by dooku
stupid padawan's hand chopped off
Dear Diary,
went to rescue chancellor
knocked out by dooku
woke up looking at padawan's butt
Dear Diary,
went to catch greivous
clone troops turned on me
clone troops killed my dragon
Dear Diary,
almost all the jedi are dead
padawan is behind it
Dear Diary,
stowed away in senator's ship
went to mustafar
padawan choked senator
padawan tried to kill me
padawan short circuited entire mustafar shield system thingy
chopped off padawan's limbs
padawan caught fire
Dear Diary,
senator died
what to do with the babies?
Dear Diary,
distributed babies
Dear Diary,
living in exile in tatooine
new name, ben
Dear Diary,
padawan spawn got knocked out by sand people
forced to save him
message from robot from the female padawan spawn
Dear Diary,
attempting to teach padawan spawn the ways of the force
stuck in a ship with padawan spawn, two droids, han solo, and a wookie
Dear Diary,
met padawan
he's a robot now
padawan killed me
Dear Diary,
came back as a Force ghost
met yoda but i think master is ignoring me
Dear Diary,
watched padawan spawn get stuffed into a llama by han solo
could smell it even as a ghost
Dear Diary,
padawan spawn threw a tantrum
wouldnt listen to yoda and i
sped away in his blaster to go rescue the female padawan spawn
Dear Diary,
padawan spawn electocuted by emperor.
finally.
some joy in my life
Dear Diary,
padawan spawn didn't die
Dear Diary,
padawan is an ugly wrinkled old man.
(who is also bald)
serves him right
Dear Diary,
padawan joined us as a Force ghost
now i get to spend eternity with him
...fml