Ceestar: Major spoilers for chapter 328.
This is a dedication to Asuma-sensei.
The sun had gone down several hours ago and darkness had engulfed the skies above the village of the leaf. Stars were scattered above the heads of villagers and the moon shone brightly upon them. The light stretched everywhere it could, lighting the way of few still wandering the village.
It also revealed a single blank eye looking up into the sky. The shadows covered the other side of the young man's face, so only half his face was lit and seen amongst the shadows. Often though he felt amongst the shadows anyway, controlling them was his family's specialty after all. Life without shadows crowding around him would just be strange.
A half empty packet of cigarettes sat next to him, he hadn't touched them since he arrived home and laid them there next to him. He figured his mother wouldn't be too happy about the new habit he had picked up. The roof tiles supported the cigarette packet so that it didn't slide off the roof, and Shikamaru didn't mind so much the bumpy feeling on his arms and back as he too lay there watching the clouds. But it was more the clouds that were fogging up his mind the Nara son had his mind on.
Else where in Konoha another boy pretty much the same age looked out his window, watching the same clouds, and focusing on the same fogging clouds. So much had happened today. Well not really. It was more really such a big event had happened today that Chouji wasn't sure how he was going to live his life from now on.
It felt strange at the thought of now being only a three-man team. When they were younger, they were always recognized as three-man team anyway, all of the rookie nine would be addressed that way. Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura. Kiba, Hinata and Shino. Then Shikamaru, Ino and himself. But in the background there was always Kakashi-sensei, Kurenai-sensei and Asuma-sensei. They were just never acknowledged as such.
But now "three-man team" has such an hollow feel to it. There was still the three of them, still the same three people. But yet there was a large, black hole in the name. The background that supported the name was gone. There was no longer that background feeling; it was just blank, bland…
…Empty…
Large blue eyes watched her ceiling intensely; she stared up at the pale wall covered in a thin layer of darkness. She blinked a couple of times, let her eyes wander the room and then return back to the same spot on her ceiling.
She tried turning around and watching her wall instead. Or maybe her wardrobe across the room. Or maybe even the wall on the opposite side of the room.
No. No matter where Ino looked she couldn't sleep. She couldn't even close her eyes as the images of today flashed before her again and again. When she tried to ignore the images and shut her eyes tight, the sounds would come back too. It was strange how loud it all was and how clear it all sounded. The rain falling on their bodies, the wind rustling the nearby trees. And his voice.
Ino snapped her eyes open and took a deep breathe in. She ran her hand through her hair and cringed at the thought that it hadn't all been a dream. It had happened. They had been warned during their time in the Academy that it was the life of a ninja to lose some dear to you in battle. She knew this, heck they all did.
But that didn't make it any easier.
All three of them had thought it would be hard- well truthfully all three of them had thought it would never happen to them. No body ever thinks it would ever happen to them. But like everyone else Team 10 had thought about what they would do if it did happen. All three of them thought: I'm a ninja; I have to be strong if it happened. And I will be.
They were being strong like the professional shinobi warriors that they were. But inside it was that same cloud of fog. Were they really handling it? Would they get through it? Could they get through it? They didn't know what to think or what to focus on. It was hard to tell whether or not the three teens were thinking the same thing.
Asuma-sensei's dead.
They were there when he died.
His last words were to them.
Asuma-sensei's dead.
But then again they were thinking of all different things.
My medical jutsus weren't good enough; there should have been something more I could have done.
They were thinking of what affected them most that day.
Maybe I should have run away instead of waiting, maybe we could have gotten Sensei back to the village sooner.
They were all blaming themselves.
I was right there. I watched him die. I watched that Akatsuki guy kill him! I could've saved him! I could've! I was so close! I considered at least 100 possibilities of how to beat those guys, and yet we still lost. Why didn't I consider that?! As soon as I realized that guy was being reattached to his body I should've thought of something!
Shikamaru slapped both hands on top of his face and bit his lip hard. He didn't want to cry again. His shoulder shook and his throat began to clog up as he bit his lip harder and tried to hold back the tears.
Asuma…
Chouji lowered his head and balled his hands into tight fists that sat on his lap. A small stream of tears began trailing down his cheeks.
I couldn't help…
Ino curled into a ball and hid under her blanket as she cried, unleashing another wave of salty tears.
I'm sorry.
xXx
It was now well into the night and the three teens had finally fallen asleep to receive some much needed rest. It wasn't a peaceful sleep, but it was some rest for the distressful teens at least. It wasn't really nightmares that disturbed their dreams, but it was the voice that kept saying you let him die that was keeping three of them from sleeping peacefully. For over a week they couldn't get enough sleep, and every night they woke up sweating or crying.
Ino sat up in her bed and curled her knees up to her chest. Again she began crying, a little unsure now of what she as actually crying for. She wasn't sure whether she was crying out of grief or out of guilt.
"Sensei…" Ino sobbed softly. "I can't handle this… It's too much. I'm going to quit being a ninja… it's too hard."
In his own room Shikamaru had one knee up and was leaning his arm on it. He sat up in his bed, starring blankly at the end of his bed, cursing himself.
"I was never cut out to be a shinobi," He muttered.
"Maybe I'll do better working at the BBQ place…" Chouji thought to himself.
Ino wrapped her arms around her knees as she sobbed hard into the gap between her arms and her chest. The pain in her heart was still as painful as it had been a week ago, it wouldn't go away. The pain wouldn't leave them alone. Was this their fate? To forever carry this burden?
"Ino, it's been a week now, and you're still crying over me?" A very familiar voice said in an almost mocking tone.
Ino snapped her head up and was shocked to be faced with a ghostly figure of Asuma standing with his arms folded against her wardrobe.
"A-Asuma-sensei?"
Asuma gave a soft smile. His body was a slightly transparent, and it almost seemed he was glowing. He gently waved at his student who sat there staring in disbelief.
"I-I must be going insane. I'm beginning to see a hallucination of Asuma-sensei… is the grief getting to me that badly?" Ino clutched her hair and her eyes widened in shock and fear. Her heart rate has doubled in mere seconds as she felt consumed. Fear was consuming Ino at the sight of her sensei.
"Ino! Ino! Calm down! You're not going insane, this is real. Just calm down, it's me." 'Asuma' said in a concerned voice, trying to calm the frantic girl.
Ino slowly raised her head to see Asuma now standing a few steps closer. He was moving his arms up and down in trying to calm Ino down. He sighed in relief and leaned back against the wardrobe as Ino slowly turned her body around to face him.
"See? There's no need for you to freak out Ino." Asuma said with a relieved smile.
"S-sensei?"
"Yup,"
Ino's eyes began watering as she took in the fact that her sensei was standing there in front of her. Her heart began filling with a strange sense of joy, because it wasn't as if Asuma wasn't dead, but he was here… and that was all that mattered right now. She chuckled as more tears fell down her cheeks; she choked a combination of tears and laughs.
"Aah! Ino! Come on, please don't start crying again!" Asuma said frantically as if trying to calm a baby that was crying and he had no idea why.
Ino continued to chuckle, "You- you haven't changed a bit sensei."
"That's right, and that means I'm still concerned about my team if they're doing too well."
Ino stopped the laughing and met her sensei's eyes, which she now saw were full of a fatherly concern.
"The three of you haven't been doing so well since I uh… died huh?" Asuma said, a little unsure of his choice of words.
"G-guess not." Ino said softly. "In fact, I don't think I've even really seen Shikamaru and Chouji since last week."
Asuma sighed with a look of doubt that he wore a lot back when Team 10 was still a bunch of Genin. "You've barely left the house, Ino."
It was true, and it wasn't only Ino either. Chouji and Shikamaru hadn't left the house much either, Chouji had roamed around his own yard and gone out to buy groceries probably once. And the only thing close to leaving the house Shikamaru had done was go sit on his roof for most of the day.
"None of you have been doing so well," Asuma sighed. "And it's had me worried you know?"
"Really?"
"Of course, you guys are still my team you know?" Asuma said. His tone was soft and caring, Ino knew he didn't speak like that much, but when he did he meant it.
"I- I don't know what to do sensei," Ino said sadly. "Everything's so strange. Whenever anything bad happened, Shikamaru kind of thought of something to pull us out of it. But even he was so shaken last week, I've never seem him fall apart like that before."
"He must be beating himself up about all this, the last time I saw Shikamaru like this was after his mission to bring Sasuke back."
Ino's face saddened, but she tried not to think about Sasuke.
"And he's not the only one right?" Asuma questioned.
Ino was unable to answer as she curled her hands up and twisted her blanket in her lap.
"Ino, my future was sealed long before you and Chouji even arrived. Don't worry about it. I doubt even Tsunade-sama could have done anything for me," Asuma said. "To be honest with you, I didn't expect to come back from that mission alive."
"Sensei you say it as if nothing's happened, as if it was just a small mistake I made. But it's not that simple!" Ino said angrily, tears again forming in her eyes. "You died right there in front of us!"
"I'm sorry Ino; I guess it's just simpler for me." Asuma said with another sigh. "I left, and that's it. But you guys have to deal with it, I'm really sorry about that."
"Don't be sorry sensei, I-I guess it's not your fault."
xXx
"Just like it wasn't your fault that I'm not here alright?"
"But… I can't help but think that if-" Chouji stuttered as he looked away from the ghostly figure that was standing against his wall.
"No 'ifs' Chouji, what's done is done." Asuma said sternly.
"I guess so," Chouji said with little life in his voice.
"Chouji, you guys should know that it isn't healthy for you to stay indoors all the time like this."
"I know, but it's so hard. I don't know what to do sensei. It all seems so scary, and so unreal. I know that the Academy taught us that we're supposed to expect this as ninja, but I still don't know what to do."
"Everyone grieves in their own way I guess," Asuma shrugged. "All you really do is look towards the future instead of leaving yourself in the past. Moping around at home sure isn't going to bring me back right?"
"Yeah." Chouji said sadly. "But sensei, I don't know how the other two are doing. If they are doing worse than me, they might think I moved on too fast. If they're doing better they may think I'm lingering onto the past."
"Chouji you've always thought of others first before yourself, that's why I think you'll be great in the future. But you should know Shikamaru and Ino would support you no matter what you do. Just like you would for them right?"
"Of course! Shikamaru's my best friend! And Ino's been there for me too, she's strange sometimes… but I guess all girls are." Chouji chuckled.
"Indeed… sometimes its funny how much the three of you have changed and yet you've all stayed the same huh?"
"But one thing's different now sensei… you won't be there to guide us anymore."
"I know, but the three of you can take care of yourselves now. Since all three of you moved on to becoming Chuunin, I stopped being your Jounin sensei. Even me entering the three of you the first time 'round meant I had faith that you would be strong and independent ninja."
Chouji sat there quietly and remembered the first time they took the Chuunin Exam. His face saddened in thinking how poorly he did that time, his preliminary match didn't last a minute, yet Ino showed how much she had grown and Shikamaru already showed he had what it took to be a Chuunin- even though he was only 12.
But then again, the three of them had trusted each other and depended on each other in both the first and second exam. Yes.
It was the Ino-Shika-Chou trio that had protected Team 7 even though Sasuke ended up defeating the Sound nins. They still worked as a team- much better than any of the other teams.
"That's one thing that hasn't changed for sure; my belief in the three of you that you can take care of yourselves." Asuma smiled.
"We… we never got a chance to tell you just how much you did for us sensei." Chouji said. "Without you… we wouldn't be who we are today. I mean I know we never really said anything, but you did more for us than you know."
"Well it's not all me. The three of you shaped me as well, I mean have you ever seen Shikamaru play shougi? No matter how much I practiced I could not beat him!." Asuma pouted slightly, this caused Chouji to chuckle.
"There we go! Feels a little better smiling doesn't it?"
"Y-yeah."
"Just remember that I'm proud of all three of you, and that I'm perfectly happy now ok? All I want from the three of you is for you to live your lives happily. And not to do anything stupid- in other words anything I wouldn't have permitted."
"Alright sensei."
Asuma nodded happily and faintly pat Chouji on the head, and convinced him to go to sleep.
"So remember 11 o'clock sharp ok? There's one more person I need to visit…"
xXx
Shikamaru sat quietly there on his bed as Asuma was sitting on top of the young shinobi's desk. Neither of them had really moved since Asuma's shock 'arrival', nor had either of them spoken a word in the last five minutes.
Asuma continuously eyed Shikamaru who had his eyes clued onto his blanket, but his eyes were for once filled with something other than the blank look Asuma was use to. Several times Asuma had even seen Shikamaru looked determined during a shougi match. But this time it was different- very different.
"What are you doing here?" Shikamaru asked bitterly.
"You're angry with me aren't you Shikamaru?" Asuma sighed.
"You didn't answer my question."
"Neither did you."
Shikamaru turned his head in frustration, ignoring the comments. He bit his lip angrily as Asuma sighed again.
"It's alright to grieve you know? No one is blaming you for what happened- especially not me. And you don't have to act like this isn't affecting you at all, it was a big thing to happen to a 15 year old. But like anything else that comes your way you can deal with it like-"
"Stop talking about it like it wasn't you!" Shikamaru yelled- surprisingly not waking his parents. The shadow controlling boy's vision began blurring as fresh, hot tears began surfacing.
Asuma didn't say anything because he knew Shikamaru had to be in a lot of pain. And he needed some way to get it out of him.
"You died in front of us! I watched you die!" Shikamaru cried out as tears ran down his cheeks, his voice becoming a little shaky. "I was the first to become Chuunin and I'm the one that comes up with battle strategies, I'm supposed to be the one that's grown up about this!"
By now Shikamaru couldn't stop the tears as he shut his eyes tight and turned his head away. He had expected that he would have to put up a big fight, but no, he broke in an instant. He wasn't sure what caused the quick outburst. Whether it was seeing Asuma again, hearing his voice again- or just feeling his presence.
"Do you really think anyone expects that of you Shikamaru?" Asuma said firmly. "You're only human, no on expects any more than that."
Shikamaru bit his lip and choked a little on his own tears, every word he heard hurt. He wasn't even really listening, well he was and he wasn't. It wasn't the words that Asuma spoke that was reaching out to Shikamaru, it was just his voice. His constant words of advice.
"It's alright to be upset or to feel angry. It's true you're mature for your age, but that doesn't mean you can't cry or show pain. I thought you'd know something that simple with that IQ of yours." Asuma joked. "You noticed I quit smoking every time something was wrong right? That was my way of grieving you could say. The three of you didn't see it much but I was very upset over the Third's passing- Kurenai, Kakashi, Gai and I opened up to each other if needed. Just like you can open up to Ino and Chouji."
"Yeah…" Shikamaru said in a whisper.
"Shikamaru, you're a brave boy and I know you can take care of yourself. Don't make me worry about you when I died thinking you'd be alright ok?"
"Yeah…"
"Hey, could you do me one more favour?" Asuma said.
"What is it?" Shikamaru asked with a little more life in his voice.
"Go to the memorial at 11 o' clock tomorrow morning for me tomorrow would ya?"
"Why?" Shikamaru now asked in a tone that sounded lazy and like he didn't want to bother, this brought a smile to Asuma's face.
"Just do it would you? It's an order."
"Alright."
"Good," Asuma smiled. He got up and was about to leave but Shikamaru spoke first.
"Sensei…"
Asuma turned around and faced the still slightly teary Shikamaru who then turned to face him and met his sensei's eyes.
"Thanks… for everything. And I'm sorry we had you concerned." Shikamaru said loud enough for Asuma to hear, but somehow it still seemed like a whisper.
"You're welcome Shikamaru"
In a blink Asuma was gone. Shikamaru felt that hole had surfaced again in his heart, but this time it wasn't as hollow… this time it was filled with a strange sensation that Asuma was watching over them. And it felt good that Shikamaru knew this for a fact.
"Become the great ninja that I raised. And don't forget 11 tomorrow morning! That's an order." A voice echoed in the wind.
Half an hour later, when the three had finally wrapped their heads around the situation, they got some sleep. And they actually slept, peacefully and happily.
xXx
That next morning, Ino, Chouji and Shikamaru all walked into the clearing with the memorial rock in the centre. They faced each other and shared glances that told the other two last night had not been a dream.
As they approached the memorial, they saw a picnic blanket set out in front of it with three bento boxes on top. A photo was also there. It showed Team 10 three years ago, when they had first become a team. The three of them smiled, and sat down on the mat.
"Honestly," Shikamaru chuckled. "This is corny, even for him."
"I think it's a nice change from the BBQ." Ino said happily as she opened her bento box, revealing a light salad. She laughed as the top of the box wrote "You're beautiful without those crazy diets Ino."
"Try some more fruits and vegetables and less meat Chouji," Chouji's box wrote.
"Thanks for all the shougi matches, never let anyone beat you." A smile appeared of Shikamaru's face, it was probably the biggest natural smile he'd even worn in his life.
The three of them looked happily down at the photo as they eyed Asuma.
"Well sensei, itadakimasu!"
The three began conversing like they did in a time that seemed an eternity ago.
"Sensei always knew my favourite foods!" Chouji laughed.
"To go to so much trouble just for us," Shikamaru smiled.
"Wait…" Ino suddenly stopped eating. "The way sensei was talking… it seems he's been watching us all week."
"Yeah and?" Chouji said in between bites.
"DOES THAT MEAN HE'S SEEN ME IN THE BATHROOM?!?! OR CHANGING?!?! KYYAAH!!!" Ino's eyes went big as she started screaming a whole lot of ideas that deep down she knew couldn't be true.
"Haah… this is so troublesome."
In the shadows of the trees a little further off, a ghostly figure wrapped his arms around someone else's shoulders.
"Thanks for setting this up for me Kurenai. And thank you for everything, I'll always treasure the time we shared. I'm sorry I left you, but please don't let me keep you from finding someone you can spend the rest of your life with."
Kurenai lay her hand on one of the arms that was wrapped around her.
"I'll always love you, Kurenai."
"I love you too," Kurenai said softly, but before her sentence was finished she felt Asuma had left.
The sun set and rose the next day, the stars still shone bright in the skies. The world continued to live- but now the lives that felt they could not go on decided otherwise. They would live their lives… as Asuma wanted.
Ceestar: Um yeah… I know it was kinda rushed and such but I hope it was alright. Sorry it some characters seemed OOC (out of character for those that don't know). Um… can't wait to see the Akatsuki be taken down… ok I just can't wait to see Shikamaru-kun kill Hidan (BECAUSE IT WILL HAPPEN).
Reviews would be nice please