This is my first submission on this page. It was inspired by a combination of personal experiences, a very vivid dream, and me and my friends' drug habits. I'm not saying go easy on me or anything like that, but this is more like me justifying this piece's mediocrity. If that makes any sense.
Anyway, I don't own any of these characters or places. Not like you would think otherwise. I don't own any of these songs either. Otherwise I'd be filthy rich and getting laid every night. Full list will be posted at the end. I will say that the first song is "Lit Up" by Buckcherry.
So enjoy my heartwarming work of extraordinary literary masturbation. In fact, I hope you're masturbating right now.
Chapter One – Love at First Sight
On what would otherwise be a quiet night in a peaceful, rural mountain community in Colorado, high school seniors-to-be gathered at the Marsh residence in joyous, inebriated celebration. The party was intended to honor Stan Marsh's eighteenth birthday. However, many of the students saw it as a last opportunity to party before the start of classes in two days. Nevertheless, everyone there was having a hell of a time.
The center of everyone's attention – aside from the three kegs in the corner of the yard – was the small stage set up along the back fence, where Stan Marsh blasted his electric guitar. With Craig, Token, and his best friend Kyle playing behind him, he belted out a melody to the pleasure of the crowd:
I'm
on a plane, with cocaine
And yes
I'm all lit up again
Cough
up love, and touch up
Your
mama said packin lines is sin
And yes
I'm all lit up again
On the
couch, in my bed
And yes
I'm all lit up again
Flyin
I love
the cocaine, I love the cocaine
Mama
can you wait, Mama can you wait
Pushing her way rather forcefully through the crowd, Wendy Testaburger, exercising her authority as the self-appointed queen of her class, squeezed her way to the front. She smiled and waved to her sweetheart at the mic, who smiled and nodded back at her. Kyle noticed Bebe standing next to her, but refused to make any sign of acknowledgement. Why is that bitch here? he thought bitterly. A voice in his mind answered back, She's Wendy's BFF, so Stan probably had no say in the matter. He shook her out of his head and concentrated on his guitar riff:
I'm
on a train, and ride on
You
know the train is staying off the track
I'm
in touch love, from this crutch
Well
you're on ten but buddy I'm on eleven
And yes
I'm all lit up again
On the
couch, in my bed
And yes
I'm all lit up again
Flyin
I love
the cocaine, I love the cocaine
Mama
can you wait, Mama can you wait
I love
the cocaine, I love the cocaine
Mama
can you wait
Oh can
you wait long
It was then that Kyle noticed a girl in the crowd he had never seen before. She was talking to Wendy and Bebe, who were probably complementing her on her vinyl black boots. No girl in South Park would ever wear such flashy clothes, especially not a tight-fitting white blouse unbuttoned just enough to reveal the black lace of her bra. It was then that her blue eyes met Kyle's. Her pink lips softly parted into a friendly smile. A lock of her dark blonde hair fell over her eye, and she gently brushed it aside with a delicate sweep of her hand. He could've fallen in love with her then, if only he were the type of guy who believed in love at first sight. For the rest of the song, he kept his eyes locked on hers as his fingers fluttered up and down the neck of his guitar:
Crack
the door for the curious girl cuz she's waitin, she's been waitin
Chop a
line for the fiendin man cuz he wants one
You
know you know you've got to
Can you
feel it can you feel it tonight
Are you
high love
Tell me
are you fuckin high
In the
moment you are just so right,
You're
right love, oh you're right love
And yes
I'm all lit up again
On the
couch, in my bed
And yes
I'm all lit up again
Flyin
I love
the cocaine, I love the cocaine
Mama
can you wait, Mama can you wait
I love
the cocaine, I love the cocaine
Mama
can you wait
Oh can
you wait long
The crowd cheered enthusiastically as the song came to an end. Kyle noticed the girl from before slipping back into the crowd, being led somewhere by Bebe. He pulled his guitar strap over his head in one swift motion, set it down next to one of the three large amps, and charged into the crowd after her. Stan turned to Craig and Token, who were both just as confused as he was. Wendy took the chance to jump on the stage and give Stan a soft peck on the cheek.
"Happy Birthday, sweetie," she said in a sugary voice.
"Thanks, baby," he smiled back. "You having a good time?"
"I haven't been here very long," she shrugged. "But," she smirked, her voice turning deep and erotic, "I have a present for you…"
Stan perked up. "Really? Sweet. What is it?"
"Well," she giggled, playing with her shiny black hair and batting her long dark eyelashes, "it's up in your room. Come on, I want to be there when you 'unwrap' it…"
She took his hand, gave him a long kiss on the lips, and beckoned him to follow her inside the house.
Kyle, having realized that the girl was a lost cause, slumped defeated on his way back to the stage. Noticing Stan was missing, he turned to the beer pong table behind him. There, Kenny and Cartman, the champions of the town, were only one cup away from another victory. The chains on Kenny's black pants jingled as he tried to shake of his drunken haze. He shook the shaggy blonde hair out of his face and his fishnet-gloved hand delicately plucked a white ball out of a red cup full of water. He squinted, lining up the shot, and was about to toss his way to victory when Kyle slid between them.
"You guys seen Stan lately?"
The small white ball flew into the air, landing just to the right of the lone red cup on the other side of the table. Their opponents breathed a small sigh of relief, knowing that they still had a chance to catch up.
"Dammit!!" Kenny yelled. "That should've gone in!"
Cartman shrugged, adjusting his letterman jacket. "Dude, Stan is upstairs getting LAID!!" He turned to Kenny and added, "High five!" using his best Borat impression.
"Yeah," Kenny laughed. "We heard Wendy telling him she had a 'present' for him up in his room. I swear, he looked like he had no idea what the fuck she was talking about."
"So…" Kyle asked, "what do we do now?"
"Well," Cartman replied, plucking another white ball from the water cup, "Kenny and I were gonna bounce out after this game, maybe go back to my place and blaze. You down?"
"How much?" Kyle retorted, knowing full well that Cartman would never offer to smoke out anyone for free. "Hey, how bout I just pay for munchies?"
"Fair enough," Cartman answered, not really paying much attention. Instead, he was completely focused on this final shot. "Don't worry guys, game should be over in just a minute after I sink this shot…"
Kenny burst out laughing. "Bullshit! You're lucky you've even made a shot at all tonight!"
"Fuck you, Kenny!" Cartman snapped. "I'm just having a bad streak tonight, that's all."
"I've been carrying your ass this entire game!" Kenny laughed. "Let's see…nine shots for me, and…um…TWO for you!"
"God dammit," Kyle sighed. He plucked the ball out of Cartman's hand and waved it at the two opponents. "Celebrity shot!" With a flick of his wrist, he tossed the ball, bouncing it on the table and into the cup.
"Fuck yeah!" Kenny shouted victoriously. "That means no rebuttal, bitches!" He said mockingly to their surprised and defeated opponents.
"Can we go now?"
Satisfied, they strutted to the driveway where Kyle's shiny red Mustang was parked. He thought it best that he drive, as his friends were already having enough trouble walking. He waited for them to figure out the seatbelts – a good five minutes of "How the hell does this fucking thing work?" – before slowly backing out.
I'm going to stop this chapter here, only because it's almost finals week, and I am totally screwed.
Peace, Love and All
Things Rock,
Terra the Masterful