What am I doing so wrong? What am saying all these things to hurt you? I want to cut out my tongue so it will stop, I want to cut out my hands so it will stop to write. I would do anything to get you back, to make you feel secure in my arms again. I love you so much and it hurts me so much being away from you. I go through each day in a daze, in a foggy haze that I don't know what went on the whole day until I realized its night and I need to go to bed to go through another blank day without you. Is this gonna be my life gonna be? How I dread this day...the day you stopped loving me. Most of my stories have happy ending, I wish I have the power to write a happy ending on mine. I wish I have the power to go back in time to rewind everything that happened and erase them with a magic eraser, so everything would be alright again, so everything will be good again, and you will be back with me. I miss you so much. I curse myself each day for losing you. The empty, hollow feeling inside reminds me of that, that a part of me was ripped away from me and I could never get it back. I wish I could...get you back. I will pray each day...even mumble them in my sleep til the day you come back to me. I love you so much...Shuichi!