Closed Space
It shot through my veins like an electric pulse. Every cell in my body yearned to move; pulling me towards the disturbance of space. My eyes were only half opened and my neck ached from its uncomfortable position. I had finally stumbled into sleep as I sat propped against the one of the blank four walls of my small apartment, head lolled to the side, still wearing my North High uniform in a disgraceful state.
The lights were extinguished, but the yellow of the street lamps outside illuminated the smooth plaster in a bright orange that my tired eyes squinted against. The heating had long since shut off and I shivered slightly in the chill, but still, I strained to my feet, staggering slightly in the process.
It was the 17th of December and the frozen weather had long since settled into a frost that coated the lawns like crystals. I looked around the small, square room to see nothing but a disarray that reflected my current state or both mind and appearance. My usual neatness to the point of showroom-esque flawlessness had seemed to have diminished as stack of homework papers fell from my desk in flurries of assignments; my other North High uniform lay abandoned, scuffed with mud and various other forms of filth from the side of the road where I had finally fallen (but the muddied material was much worse I must say than the disarray array of the one I wore).
I could take it no longer. I had not slept for days; I have not eaten and the constant pressure applied by both my school and work have my knees buckling to the point that I'd grab a bottle at any chance, just the break the strain that bore down on my shoulders like lead.
The electric pulse continued to jump, making me restless and irate; my annoyance pushed only further as my phone screamed out a cutting ring. I reached down and picked up the silver devise, pressing the small green symbol and pressing it to my ear.
"Hello?" I murmured almost silently into the mouth piece, a small flame of hope igniting in my chest as I prayed to hear the beautiful and loud signature voice of adventure.
"Koisume-kun, Tamaru-Sempai becomes restless," The young male voice chastised from the other end of the line, and my heart sank, and I let that hope out in a sigh. "Give Tamaru my apologies but I will not be attending tonight," I said wearily to the young boy on the phone. "Anyway, I did not think Arakawa allowed you to be involved with the Shinjin." The business of Closed Space, superiors and the eager apprentice- it made no more sense to me than it would to an outsider. "He says that I can observe..." He paused, "From a safe distance. But I'm still allowed in the Space." He said defensively. "Anyways, it's not like he's my Dad or anything-"The young boy was cut off as a deep monotone came from somewhere on the other end. "Yes...I've told him...no, he says that he won't be attending..." The young voice was now conversing not with me but with a furious sounding murmur that ran into one string of indistinguishable and distant grunts. I felt my heavy eyelids begin to close again, my heart sinking heavily again and I just wished I could rip it from its cage. I sank back down against the wall, anger slowly bubbling up inside me due to frustration and irritation as my colleagues continued to argue and the closed space remained so. I just wanted it to stop. I wanted the voices that stabbed the silence like pins would stop the arguing, I wished the Space would close and rid me of the galling onslaught of adrenaline to cease. I hit my hand hard against the smooth tiles floor, not even wincing as the pain shot through the fractured bone. I let out a long groan of exasperation, running my finger through my mousy hair and gripping a large fistful of it, pulling hard before letting my hands drop to my sides. I grabbed the discarded phone where the argument continued and retorted loudly down the line: "Tell him my business has to do with Kamisama." I said loudly and defiantly using the phrase the Organisation used to address Suzumiya-san. The boy must have noticed the change in my voice as he relayed this information to his superior. There was a scuffle on the other end of the line, mixed with curses; a new, deeper voice spoke down the line to me. "Koisume, you know our numbers. We need all the help we can get," He reasoned, though the annoyance still coloured his voice. "There are at least eight available for duty, and anything that may trouble Kamisama during her dreams is no dire issue." I bit back. "Are you abandoning us?" He accused. "Don't be so ridiculous Tamaru; I told you, my business involves Haruhi-San." I would not usually use Suzumiya's given name, but I was certainly in a position to remind my superiors of my current post and my relations and connections. There was a pause, and a long exhale of breath. "Haruhi-san," He repeated. I knew I had won any argument with that simple name. "I do not know what business you may have involving Kamisama, especially while she sleeps, but I do have a message for you." He said curtly. "Oh?" My heart hitched up a beat as I anticipated this news. "That you should be careful, and that is all." The phone went dead, and my heart fell through my stomach. I had never wanted more in my life to be at Suzumiya-sans side, nor had I ever wanted to so much to resign my post. I wanted to let some other member take this horrid armful of tasks – and yet, I wished to remain with Miss. Suzumiya, and in my heart I knew why. That maybe one thing though, but it was Kyon, forever Kyon as our world revolved around him, I couldn't help but resent that blank stare he wears as my days orbit around him- oblivious and ungrateful. It is Suzumiya-san who is so fixated on this idiot and that is the reason I too must keep this idiot from danger. If things were normal, I would see no reason for Kyon and myself to be friends of sorts – but so many things had us resent each other right here and now. He despised my facade and yes man attitude and also finds my speech patterns patronizing: Petty things to dislike about someone. I disliked Kyon because of resentful attitude to Suzumiya-san, his apathy and unappreciative approach to myself and my colleagues. Most of all I hated that Suzumiya had chosen such a person for her partner. Why could it not have been me that she chose? But I suppose that there is only one would for my resentment of Kyon: Jealousy.I picked up my phone again and scrolled through mu phonebook until I hovered over Suzumiya's name. I hesitated slightly before calling. The rhythmic ring continued a few second before a sleepy voice almost whispered down the phone.
"Hello?" Suzumiya's soft and sleepy voice brought a smile to my face.
"Suzumiya-san," I greeted my voice as soft as hers.
"Koisume-kun?" Her sweet voice bewildered. "What's happened?" It spiked with excitement.
"Nothing, Suzumiya-san; I just wanted to check that you were alright." My soft voice did not disturb the desecrated apartment, but seemed lyrical and in tune with the city the hummed outside my window.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Koisume-kun." Her voice drifted and words were replaced by soft breathing.
I smiled softly to myself as I realised: I would live this life forever if I could just here her say those words at the end of every day.