A/N: So, I finished my massive multi-chaptered M/M fic today, and thought it'd be as good a time as any to try writing one of these dialogue fic things. I've been wanting to for a while now, and here it is! I wrote it in about fifteen minutes. XD It's probably not very good or anything, because I'm ill and tired and bored and stuff, but whatever, I literally sat down at my laptop and wrote whatever came into my head. This here, this is word vomit. Please enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. Lacrimosa diebus illa, donec facius. I don't know Latin, btw, don't hate me.
Title Goes Here
"Hey, Mello?"
"Hm?"
"Mello?"
"What?"
"Mello?"
"Motherfucking what?"
"What should I call my essay?"
"Well, what's it about?"
"Uh...the things I like."
"So call it 'The Things I Like' then, problem solved."
"But I want it to be more...I dunno...inspirational than that!"
"Matt, it's an assignment that was set as a filler because the teacher couldn't be assed to think up a better one. It's not supposed to be inspirational."
"But I want to be different!"
"You do that very well already, Matt, don't worry."
"Shut up. Anyway, what do I call this thing?"
"I don't know! Why can't you just give it a normal title, like a normal person, who wears normal eyewear?"
"But I don't like being normal."
"Shocker. Fine then, what's it about?"
"The things I –"
"Yes, I know it's about the things you like. You told me that already. What specifically out of your list of things that you like have you written about in this particular essay?"
"You."
"Me?"
"You."
"Me?"
"You."
"And?"
"...and?"
"And what else, Matt?! You can't honestly tell me you wrote an entire essay about me!"
"Uh...I could lie...?"
"Oh my God."
"Christians aren't supposed to blaspheme, Mello."
"Fuck off. Why would you feel the need to write an entire essay about me?"
"Because I like you."
"Oh, no shit. But why a whole essay? Couldn't you have written about video games and stripes and shit as well?"
"Well, I was going to, but by the time I written about all the fundamental things about you that I like, it was nine pages already, so..."
"Nine pages?!"
"Yup."
"You wrote about me for nine pages?!"
"Yeah. I could have gone on for longer, but the word limit was one thousand five hundred, and I'd already exceeded that a little."
"A little? A little?! How did you even manage to think of enough things to talk about for nine pages?!"
"It was easy. I really, really like everything about you."
"Why did you feel the need to tell the dumb teacher?"
"Because she always asks us whether we really, really have to talk during class, and I'm just illustrating the point that yes, we do."
"And this took you nine pages?"
"Yeah. And a conclusion."
"I don't even want to know. Well, back to the original discussion, why don't you call it 'Why Mello and I Have to Talk in Class', then?"
"I thought that'd be presumptuous."
"And writing nine pages on me wasn't?!"
"You're not copyrighted."
"How do you know?"
"I checked. I asked everyone in the institute whether they wished to lay a claim to you, and no one did, so I win the bidding."
"What?! Bidding? I'm not for sale!"
"No, you're not. You're mine now."
"Mother– Matt, you do realise you're being slightly creepy, right?"
"Why?"
"...are you purposefully trying to piss me off?"
"Maybe."
"Well, cease and fucking desist. Why do you even want me to 'belong' to you so much?"
"I told you: I really, really like you. I don't wanna share."
"But what if I don't want to be your property?"
"Don't you?"
"..."
"Well, that's settled then! I still can't think of a title for this, though. Fuck it, I'll just put a reminder and think of one later."
"Good plan."
"Stop rolling your eyes at me. Hey, Mello?"
"Oh God, not again. What?"
"Would you write an essay about how much you like me?"
"Depends. Do you want me to?"
"No, not really. I'd rather you just showed me."
"Well, come here then."
"Yes! Mission accomplished!"
"What?"
"Nothing."
A/N: Well, that rambled on a bit longer than expected. Never mind, hope you enjoyed anyway!