Daria: Beavis and Butthead are Dead
It had been hard but with perseverance and a helpful boost from Trent, she had gotten Jane cornered and had talked out the situation and they had both gotten over the death of that clod, Tommy Sherman with a combination of friendship and good grace in the face of death.
"Even if it was someone like Tommy Sherman." Daria stated to herself even as her fingers flew over the keyboard, typing out an outline of a new short story about a thirty-something man coping with the murder of his wife and children at the hands of a crazed lunatic.
Then there was a knock at her door.
"Daria!" her mother's voice called out from the other side, "You've got a call from a Cassandra."
That was a surprise, since there was only one Cassandra that would bother to call her.
"And I don't see Sandi Griffin wanting to trade makeup tips with me." Daria snarked quietly even as she went to the door and opened it.
Helen handed her the phone and asked if Cassandra was a friend of hers.
Daria shrugged, "I talked to her once or twice, in Highland."
Helen shuddered and fled without another word, the memories of being stuck in that town still haunted the family and would for years.
Glad to have gotten her mother out of her hair, Daria took the phone and said, "Hello Cassandra, what happened?"
"Beavis and Butthead died Daria." The sweet and nice voice of the artistic, but ultimately much-too good natured girl replied from the Lone Star State.
Daria froze and silently listened as Cassandra told her the story, and once she finished simply said, "Thank for telling me Cassandra. Is... Is there anything else?"
"No, not really." Cassandra replied, "I mean I know you hung around them a bit, but..."
"It was to see what those two idiots would do next." Daria assured her, "The entertainment value was impressive."
Cassandra, "Yeah, they were a strange pair. And I never saw a parent or anything... I haven't heard anything about a funeral or nothing."
Daria commented, "Why am I not surprised?"
Cassandra managed a small laugh, "Yeah, well that's all I suppose... Goodbye I guess."
"Goodbye Cassandra." Daria said flatly before hanging up.
Then she sat the phone down and turned on her bedroom's TV and sat down on the bed.
"Ok," Daria said to herself with the TV for white noise, "At least they can't breed... And Stewart's probably sad since he saw them as friends. Dumb little twerp, almost as dumb as Kevin really. But at least he didn't treat me like a leper... I can hear the Diarrhea chant from B&B right now... Yeah that's all I've got."
Daria then shrugged and got up from the bed and went back to her story, the TV serving as useful white-noise, having dealt with the deaths of Beavis and Butthead in a manner appropriate to their role in life.
A little while later Daria reached a point in her story that she felt comfortable with leaving off on for the moment and went downstairs for a snack, the matter of Beavis and Butthead no longer on her mind.
It would be the last time that they would come to mind for a very long time.
Until about half a year later when Cassandra would realize that Daria didn't know that Beavis and Butthead were in fact alive and had to call that 'weird girl in the ugly coat' and inform her of the latest in their antics.
After that Daria felt a twinge of fear for the fate of the human gene pool and prayed that an asteroid would strike Highland, obliterating the genetic waste of that place to spare the human race any further indignity.
FIN