CHAPTER 1- Ok, so I wasn't going to post this for another week or so, but I am FREAKING OUT. I just watched Happy Birthday Isabella! online, and OMG if you haven't seen it yet….biggest surprise EVER doesn't even involve Isabella. I can't stop smiling!

Here's the sequel to Mermaid Swapping, and the fourth story in my Secret Life of Candace series. Might change the title….

Seriously, my cheeks are starting to hurt. I'm going to go quietly spazz in a corner! AAAAAHHHHHHH!

Hem…I don't own Phineas and Ferb or Gravity Falls.

(Hopefully I will post the next chapter for my Randy Cunningham story by five today, Eastern Time)

GENERAL POV

Major Francis Monogram yawned widely and picked up his coffee mug from his coaster, taking a huge gulp and effectively burning the inside of his mouth. The man spluttered his coffee back into the mug and set the cup down quickly.

Monogram stood and darted to the office water cooler that was situated near his office. He took several swigs of the cooling water before his mouth stopped feeling like it was on fire.

The man sighed in relief and leaned heavily on the wall behind him, taking a moment to collect his surroundings.

It was five o'clock in the morning, and the only reason that Monogram was here so early was because he was sure that there was something going on between Carl, Perry, and Pinky, and he wanted to know what it was.

And, disappointingly enough, that meant going through each of their work stations.

Monogram tossed his Styrofoam cup into the trash can, briefly making a note to get cardboard ones next time (his wife was cracking down on him about helping the environment) and then headed down the hall to the intern's offices.

Since Carl was the head intern at this division of the OWCA, crazily enough, he had a special cubicle for himself. Monogram slipped into it quietly, stopping dead in his tracks when he spotted Carl himself slumped over his keyboard, fast asleep.

Francis muttered a soft curse. This kid worked too much…then again, some of that was his fault.

Monogram shook his head and peered at the screen of Carl's computer. The screen saver wasn't on, which meant that the boy hadn't been asleep long.

There was a program up on the monitor, but as Monogram took a closer look, he realized that everything was in Carl's infamous shorthand. The man sighed quietly. It would take him forever to decipher this.

He studied the words closely, and before the screen blinked off to show pictures of Carl and his dog Grace bouncing around the screen, the Major managed to understand two words.

Candace and Perry.

Monogram stepped into Wanda's division of the OWCA, his mind befuddled. Why would Carl be typing something about Candace and Perry? Unless there was a close call again….

Monogram shook his head. Carl would definitely tell him if Candace had somehow managed to figure something out.

However, there was no better place to discover something about someone than that person's sibling. This is why he was headed over to Carla's office now.

"Morning, Wanda," Francis said politely as the woman rounded the corner, a cup of tea in her freshly manicured hand.

"Francis," she said formally, giving him a small smile. "What are you doing here?"

Monogram shrugged. "I came over to discuss something with Carla."

The woman's eyebrows shot up. "My intern? What do you want with her?"

Francis hesitated, chewing his lip ever so slightly. "Well…I have a question for her regarding Carl's birthday."

"Oh. Oh my goodness! Did I forget Carla's birthday?" Wanda asked in horror.

Monogram almost slapped himself. He had totally forgotten that Carl and Carla were twins, and thus would have the same birthdays. "Oh, well…no. It's quite a while from now but uh…I wanted to get a head start."

Admiral Acronym seemed to think this over, and then she nodded. "Her office is down that hall and to the left," she said, pointing.

Monogram nodded his thanks and hurried over to the office. The door was ajar, and Monogram stepped inside without knocking.

Carla leapt from her chair, putting a hand to her pounding heart. "Geez, Major Monogram! You almost gave me a heart attack!"

Monogram inwardly groaned, but put on an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that, Carla. What are you doing here so early?"

Carla gave him a funny look. "Sir, I help monitor all the nocturnal agents. That's why I'm rarely here during the day."

Monogram nodded. "Of course, I had just uh…forgotten. Sorry about the intrusion."

Carla gave him a suspicious look and sank down in her seat. "No problem sir. Have a good day."

Monogram smiled and backed out of the room. "You too."

He stepped back into the hallway, glancing at his watch. It was nearly 6:30, so Monogram had to be fast if he wanted to find anything. On a whim, he poked his head back in Carla's office. "Carla, can you tell me where I might find Agent Pinky?"

Carla's back stiffened ever so slightly, and she turned in her chair, appraising him slowly. "In his office, most likely sir. Though he probably isn't here yet. Why do you need him?"

Monogram hesitated. "Well…I heard that he had Intel on Doofenshmirtz from somebody."

Carla raised an eyebrow. "He had Intel last week, sir. Why would he have more?"

"I don't know. Don't you know better than to question your superiors?" Monogram asked sharply before turning out of the room and shutting the door.

Carla immediately spun towards her phone, yanking it to her ear and pressing speed dial 4, Carl's line. He picked up on the second ring, his voice sleepy. "Carl the intern speaking. How can I help you?"

"Carl? It's me. I think Monogram's onto us. He was snooping around here, trying to find answers," Carla said quietly.

That woke the boy up. "What? Like what about?"

"Well, he just wanted to know where Agent Pinky was, but he seemed annoyed that I was in my office, and he snapped at me about minding my superiors."

Carl shook his head, not that his sister could see it. "That's not like him. He only does that if he's really agitated. You better warn Pinky. I'll call Perry."

Carla nodded. "See ya, Carl."

She didn't even hang up the phone, instead disconnecting her brother and punching in Pinky's number.

The Chihuahua answered his phone from the quiet confines of the upper bathroom in the Garcia-Shapiro household. "Agent Pinky, its Carla," the intern said softly.

Pinky barked gently once, and Carla was suddenly relieved that Carl had gotten her a translator. She had no idea where he'd gotten a second one, but it had come in handy more than once.

"What's wrong?"

Carla sighed. "Monogram's seriously onto us. You don't have any incriminating evidence of Candace on your computer do you? Because I think he's going to snoop around your office right now."

Pinky froze, his body for once going still. While there wasn't any evidence lying out in the open, there were emails from Perry, Carl, and Carla that discussed Candace and what she was and knew. And Monogram, though not as skilled at hacking as Carl or Carla, was still pretty good.

"Pinky?" she said.

"I'm coming down now. Has someone called Perry?" the dog barked anxiously, jumping into the nearest lair entrance.

"Yeah, Carl is calling him now. You just worry about you, ok Pinky?" Carla said.

"Yeah. Thanks Carla."

The dog hung up and sprinted from his very girly, in need of redecorating lair, and into the area where all the field agent's offices were. Since they were field agents, most only used theirs for pictures or files.

Pinky was at his more than most, only because his nemesis was relatively easy to beat (though if she ever did get away with something, it could potentially destroy the world, much like Doofenshmirtz).

Pinky skidded into his cubicle with a sharp bark, a furious scowl replacing his normally placid features.

Monogram, who was hunched over the tiny computer, froze and turned to Pinky, who looked so deadly that Monogram winced. "Uh…Agent Pinky! What a, uh, surprise!" the man stammered, quickly getting up.

Pinky growled and Monogram backed out of the cubicle rapidly. "Sorry, sorry," the man said, quickly darting away.

"Yeesh," said a familiar voice. "I can see why people are so scared of Chihuahua's."

Pinky turned to look at Perry, who had a nervous smile on his face. "Perry? Shouldn't you be securing things at your cubicle?" Pinky asked.

Perry shook his head and stepped into Pinky's cubicle space, glancing around at the walls, which were filled with photos of Isabella, Vivian, Phineas, Ferb, Candace, and even Perry.

"Nah. I was already there when Carl called me. I have everything saved to a flash drive, and anything sent to me in an email goes on the flash drive and then gets deleted. The drive is in my hat," he chattered, pointing to the fedora on his head.

Pinky sighed in relief. Though both agents knew that deleting things didn't necessarily get rid of the evidence, they did know that Monogram wasn't technologically inclined enough to get to said evidence.

"We need to talk to Candace," Pinky said softly.

Perry nodded. "I agree. But there's one problem," he said, his voice laced with both annoyance and happiness, which Pinky hadn't detected earlier.

"What's that?" Pinky asked, turning to his computer and seeing that Monogram hadn't been able to hack his email. He quickly plugged in his own flash drive and began moving the evidence of Candace to it, cocking his head towards Perry to let the monotreme know he was listening.

"Well, Linda got a call last night," Perry said, leaning over to study a picture of him making a weird face. "You should get rid of this picture of me. It's awful."

Pinky turned around to look at his friend, raising an eyebrow. "Perry. Seriously, focus. And I'm not getting rid of it. It's amusing."

Perry rolled his eyes and turned his back to the picture. "Like I said, Linda got a call last night from Stan."

"Stan Pines?"

"Yup," Perry said with a nod. "He's sending the twins down here for a week or two while he fixes up the Mystery Shack. Apparently there was some incident with a body switching carpet or nutty boy band clones…I'm not sure which. But somehow the Shack got all messed up, and Stan doesn't want the twins in the way."

"So he's sending them down here?" Pinky asked, depositing the now full flash drive in his hat and shutting down his computer.

"Yeah. Linda didn't tell the kids yet. Should be interesting trying to hide this secret."

"You know," Pinky mused, a laugh tinting his voice. "It's really not a secret to anyone but Monogram anymore."

Perry nodded, his face grim. "I know. And I'm ok with that. But it has to stay that way, Pinky. Monogram and Wanda are basically the only people we can't let find out. Well, and our nemeses, of course. Speaking of, I should get going."

Perry started to leave, but Pinky let out a small growl, his eyes still glued to his computer monitor, which he was inserting a security code into. "Perry?"

Perry gulped a little. He was only ever scared of the dog when he growled. "Yeah, Pinky?"

Pinky looked up, a smirk on his face. "Put the picture back."

Perry scowled, but remounted the dumb picture of him to Pinky's wall.

Heehee. Pinky has a funny picture of Perry….one of the reasons I can't STOP SPAZZING is because of Perry…..GAH.

You know, I re-read this whole chapter, and I realized that ninety percent of it describes me right now-pounding heart, freaking out, mind blown-wait. That wasn't in there…never mind.

I might die until this episode comes out.

Review please, and I promise that I will have calmed down next time I post.

(And yes, I referenced my story If You Had Five Minutes with Carl's dog. I had to.)