Author's Note: So I was sobbing about there being like two episodes of Victorious left, and no proper finale. This came into my mind.
Disclaimer: Copyright goes to Dan Schneider. I have a pencil though. Nice pencil.
The Story of Victorious
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Date: March 27, 2010
Lesson Learned: Believe in yourself. Also never trust Chinese medicine.
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Date: April 11, 2010
Lesson Learned: People are going to be critics; it's not being your own critic that matters. Also never assume that there are hot girls in ballet.
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Date: April 18, 2010
Lesson Learned: Things are aren't what they seem, especially were Jade is concerned.
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Date: April 25, 2010
Lesson Learned: Trina (ladyscreechbox) is impossible to please; also it's possible to cancel the internet.
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Date: May 2, 2010
Lesson Learned: Okay, Jade is not that much of a gank; also never get stuck reviewing one of Trina's show, mushroom soup will fly.
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Date: May 8, 2010
Lesson Learned: Never let Cat (princessrotation) do makeup.
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Date: June 4, 2010
Lesson Learned: Robbie (thenerdwiththepuppet) can really over exaggerate; also Sky Store sells some cool (but pointless) stuff.
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Date: June 26, 2010
Lesson Learned: Cat can take so long to pee.
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Date: August 27, 2010
Lesson Learned: It's really hard to do a school report from an airplane. People will get distracted.
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Date: September 25, 2010
Lesson Learned: Standing up your friends will turn out bad, but don't worry being accused of hurting someone will make it all better.
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Date: October 1, 2010
Lesson Learned: People keeping secrets from you? Just use the vending machine; also when in an agreement expect teachers to sneak out.
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Date: October 8, 2010
Lesson Learned: Girls don't like it when other girls play smushee face with their boyfriend. And of course never buy foreign fish from a guy in a van.
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Date: November 26, 2010
Lesson Learned: Joke's on you ganks because Ugly Betty is a damn good singer. Also leave town before your parents' do, so you won't have to take care of Trina.
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Date: January 8, 2011
Lesson Learned: Okay maybe Robbie should hang onto Rex for a little while longer.
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Date: January 17, 2011
Lesson Learned: Be careful what you perform. In Hollywood it'll circulate to close to your record deal.
Oh and
Lesson Learned#2: Don't jump at the first sponsor who offers, even if the money is for Jade's play.
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Date: February 5, 2011
Lesson Learned: Hollywood reality shows like to screw up your life.
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Date: March 5, 2011
Lesson Learned: Some directors enjoy saddling you with work while they do nothing.
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Date: March 26, 2011
Lesson Learned: Sikowitz's throws some interesting sleepovers, and for some reason watching people die is hilarious.
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Date: April 2, 2011
Lesson Learned: Revenge is sweet, bad boys prone to "stage fright" are not.
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Date: April 16, 2011
Lesson Learned: Beck looks good in a dress; Cat is surprisingly clothes savvy
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Date: April 22, 2011
Lesson Learned: Funky Nut Blast is an actual ice cream flavor; speaking of ice cream lay off of it for a while.
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Date: May 14, 2011
Lesson Learned: Never volunteer to give blood again, even if money is offered.
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Date: May 21, 2011
Lesson Learned: It's impossible to have a normal Prome at Hollywood Arts, diaper wearing Doug's will dance, horrifying videos will be shown, and Andre's girlfriend won't stop kissing him.
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Date: July 30, 2011
Lesson Learned: Don't trust Festus to set you up with a great vacation, jail time will be served.
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Date: September 10, 2011
Lesson Learned: Almost not making it back into your preforming arts school is a heartbreaking experience.
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Date: September 17, 2011
Lesson Learned: No one suspects the puppet.
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Date: October 1, 2011
Lesson Learned: Get your facts straight before you start meddling in your teacher's life, also don't interrupt Jade and Beck's text fighting.
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Date: October 8, 2011
Lesson Learned: When in crush mode, drinking hot coco, writing a song, and performing song in front of said crush, will help you get unwonkafied.
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Date: October 15, 2011
Lesson Learned: If your cupcake float breaks down in the middle of a bad neighborhood at night it's perfectly okay to go seek help from your neighborhood gangs alone.
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Date: December 26, 2011
Lesson Learned: Bloopers tend to be even funnier than the actual show.
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Date: December 3, 2011
Lesson Learned: Secret Santa gifts are best when they come from the heart.
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Date: January 28, 2012
Lesson Learned: Saturday morning detention can become quite interesting, complete with tacos, makeovers, and screeching a song in the hallways while running from the evilest of teachers.
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Date: February 4, 2012
Lesson Learned: There is such a thing as too much risk taking.
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Date: February 11, 2012
Lesson Learned: Breaking up Jade and Beck just in time for Valentine's Day was the saddest thing ever to hit the Victorious fandom.
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Date: February 18, 2012
Lesson Learned: Rich snotty birthday girls do get their comeuppance eventually; Mother Nature helps out in more ways than one.
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Date: February 25, 2012
Lesson Learned: No more road trips. Ever.
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Date: March 3, 2012
Lesson Learned: If at first you don't succeed run run away, before they try and hit on you again.
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Date: March 24, 2012
Lesson Learned: The authoress of this fic has no Lesson for this episode mainly because it was the April Fools episode and since Dan decided to be extra weird she had no idea what was going on. So she'll just shrug and advise you to use your imagination for this one.
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Date: April 14, 2012
Lesson Learned: Tori really needs to get a driver's license. It's getting ridiculous.
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Date: May 5, 2012
Lesson Learned: It still isn't clear exactly how Trina got into Hollywood Arts. This authoress it's pretty certain it was the coconut milk though.
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Date: May 19, 2012
Lesson Learned: Tori and Jade do sacrifice for each other. In other news Cat and bibble equals bad news.
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Date: June 9, 2012
Lesson Learned: Again another episode where the authoress was confused at what was reality (in show) and fake (in show). However she did enjoy Jeanette Mccurdy's Ponnie character. She just didn't know if she was real or not.
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Date: June 30, 2012
Lesson Learned: The fans have spoken: We prefer Cat as a red velvet cupcake redhead. Oh and Robbie sings the cutest song, we fan girls were squealing in unison.
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Date: September 22, 2012
Lesson Learned: We never do find out what lasers taste like. This authoress was quite disappointed.
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Date: September 29, 2012
Lesson Learned: Robbie never gets the spotlight. Even if it does seem like he does, he doesn't.
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Date: October 13, 2012
Lesson Learned: For some reason Cat finds puppies wearing sunglasses hilarious. Oh and Beck and Tori do some weird things, at least that's what this authoress gathered, she was too distracted by the Bade in the Bori advertised episode.
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Date: October 20, 2012
Lesson Learned: Jade wins. Jade always wins.
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Date: November 24, 2012
Lesson Learned: Giving up electronics is as hard for the Hollywood Arts kids to do as it is for real life kids. This authoress was nodding approvingly at Cat's breakdowns, she would act the same way.
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Date: December 1, 2012
Lesson Learned: Bade getting back together means The Bade fangirls can finally stop sobbing and restart squealing.
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Date: December 8, 2012
Lesson Learned: The hilarity of Tori attempting of to sell berry balls with green cotton candy was balanced out by the sweet yet short Cabbie kiss. Also beware the jealous Cat who breaks chairs by throwing them at walls.
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Date: December 15, 2012
Lesson Learned: If you give a boy a girl he'll forget all about his puppet.
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Date: January 5, 2012
Lesson Learned: Three things here actually, one the secret to Andre's terrific songwriting is his crazy grandmother, two, babies are horrible judges of songs quality, and three, Jade most certainly was not picking her nose. No ma'am there was no nose picking action going down there.
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Date: January 12, 2012
Lesson Learned: New game shows just keeping more and more violent. Funny. But violent.
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Date: January 19, 2012
Lesson Learned: In which the gang shows that getting followers on the Slap can be serious business.
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Date: January 21, 2012
Lesson Learned: On this day the authoress of this fanfic realized that there were only two episodes of Victorious left.
Her anguished tears were heard around the world.
Fin.
Author's Note: This is my longest, crackiest, fanfic yet. I think is a Crackfic. I'm pretty sure this is a weird, cracky timeline of every Victorious episode ever aired so far. The dates I used are the airdates to the episodes. I swear this was meant to be normal, but then I broke character, and broke some walls and yeah….you're brave for reading this far.
How about being ever braver and reviewing? Not begging just asking.
Long Live Victorious!
Sass.