A/N: This is my first story so please excuse any mistakes. I am really happy I finally had the guts to write this. Hope you'll like it ^^
Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail.
The deadly blow was coming closer. She was breathing really hard as she watched helplessly her death gaining speed. She was completely out of energy, falling to her knees. She fought with all she had and she succeeded. His last attack was as deadly for him as it was for her. She was pleased that as long as she defeated him also, she had no regrets. She protected Natsu, who was now lying unconscious on the ground.She saw the man collapsing on the ground, unconscious or probably dead.She smiled as she watched the green energy ball approaching her at an incredible speed. She closed her eyes and prepared for the hit.
But she felt nothing. She quickly opened her eyes. In front of her was the person she least expected to see. She thought he was still unconscious. The blow he took earlier should've kept him in bed, unconscious for the following days. His pink hair had reflections of green, his arms were in front of his body, trying but with no effect to keep the ball of energy away. Tears started running down her face without her realizing.
"Natsu!" she cried. He threw her one last grin and whispered something that'd hunt her forever. The ball finally got past his arms and the moment it touched him, a green flash erupted all around.
It all happened so quickly, so soon, he stepped in front of her, grinned and then he was gone. She had no time to act or to stop him. She was thrown away by the impact of the blow. She landed on her back, her eyes closed tight and her fists clenched. Few seconds passed until she remembered what happened. She got on her feet and went back. There, in the middle of a crater was the man who caused all of this, blown away and seriously injured by his own attack, clearly dead. She continued to search for the dragon-slayer around. If that man's body was still there, maybe the boy was also there. She spent hours searching for him, her mind simply not wanting to accept the idea of him not being there.
Few hours later, she was found unconscious on the ground by Erza and Gray. She fell while searching for him, and due to her exhaustion, she could not get up again.
Lucy Heartfilia was in her room, looking straight at the white wall in front of her. Millions of thoughts raced through her mind, millions of images appeared in front of her eyes. Millions of scenes she never took notice of before were there now, possessing her mind. How come she never noticed? How come, suddenly, it is all so new and blurry? How come she is surprised by this when she demanded of herself long time ago to always be strong and never let things surprise her.
Her hands were slowly making their way to her head, only that in a few minutes, she was curled up on her bed, with her knees under her chin and her arms in her hair, with her gaze fixing the wall. How could she let this happen? Wasn't it her only dream to get into Fairy Tail, to become a better mage, to find a place where she will feel as home once again? And hasn't she found everything she wished for? Don't her spirits love her that much they would sacrifice themselves for her? Aren't the members of Fairy Tail her family, her nakama? Hasn't she found friends so good she would give her life for them with no hesitation? But after him doing that, did she really carry out everything she wanted?
It was because of him. He who always made her smile even in her hardest times. He who was always there to save her when she called. He who would never give up on his friends. He, who, after all they've been through, would still be standing strong, with his grin up and his gaze fixed, ready to jump head on for the people he cared about. She always thought of him as a friend. Her dearest friend. A person who she'd yell at for crashing at her place uninvited all the time, and secretly, be glad he did. And still, after the last mission, everything changed. She now thought of him so highly.
Tears were running down her face. Tears she kept inside for the past three days. Tears she wished would never have to drop. Why did it have to be him and not her?
Natsu Dragneel. The dragon-slayer whose faith changed in a mere second, when he decided to save Lucy one last time and take the deadly blow intended for her. He changed his faith and also changed hers. He changed everything with just one step. And to pile it all up, his last words were for her. Words she thought she'd never hear from his lips. Words that left a scar. Words only she heard and words she'll never forget. With one last breath, her friend, her team-mate, her family, her nakama whispered "…I will always protect my loved ones. That's what I always told you, right Lucy? It is funny. I never actually thought I'll do it until you...". And with a last grin, he was blown away.
He gave his life for her. He chose death to save his nakama. He will always be remembered as a hero. A hero she'll always cherish.
A knock on her door woke her up from her thoughts. She quickly removed her tears, but paying no real attention to this action, as the opinion of the visitor did not concern her. She slowly made her way to the door, thinking what story she should tell Gray, Erza or Levy, if it was them who were knocking. Or maybe it was Master. The past two days, he came so often at her place, simply to stay there with her and both stare together at the walls. So many people of the guild visited her. She did feel horrible but it annoyed her that they all thought she felt the worst of them all. She didn't know Natsu for that long. He had friends in the guild, family who knew him since he was little, and still they all thought she felt the worst. Master told her it may be because it was her life he gave his for. But she was sure he, as everybody, wasn't completely sincere with her.
Another knock at the door. Couldn't they just wait a little? She didn't come up with the story yet.
When her hand touched the door knob, she hesitated. She did not know why but she didn't want to answer the door. A quick thought raced through her mind. '...What if it is Natsu at the other side of the door...?' That thought made her open the door so large and quickly she completely surprised the person on the other side. She searched for the spiky pink hair but only found white. '.. It isn't Natsu. Of course it isn't Natsu. He would never knock. He would just burst in... .' She smiled at the thought, surprising the other person even more as she thought the smile was for her.
When Lucy finally concentrated on the person in front of her, any sign of smile disappeared.
"What are you doing here?" She asked in a harsh voice. The girl in front of her trembled. Lucy could see her blue eyes were almost red; her white short hair was falling on her face.
'She also cried. She also misses him...' Lucy thought. Her coldness to the girl suddenly disappeared. She was suffering as everybody did; she missed the dragon-slayer as much as she did
The girl looked around to see if it was anyone listening to them. When she was finally convinced the two of them were alone she walked inside Lucy's' apartment.
Lucy closed the door after her, using all her might to stop herself from yelling at the girl for not asking permission to come in. Another smile rose on her lips. This is the Lucy she knew. Too bad that Lucy was probably lost forever.
She turned around, her eyes searching for the white-haired mage.
She saw her standing near the window, with her arms crossed, throwing daggers with her eyes all around the room. Her attitude from back at the door changed considerably. That's how the girl has always been. She would put on a mask and smile and be all innocent around everybody but when she was alone with someone she didn't like, her mask simply broke, revealing her true self.
Regretting immediately that she felt sorry for the girl few minutes before, Lucy asked in a harsh tone once again.
"What are you doing here?"
The girl finally looked Lucy in the eyes. All Lucy could see was hatred. Hatred towards her.
"Master sent me here. He told me to tell you Natsu's burial is today in a few hours..."
"... They found the body...?" Lucy whispered, gasping in horror at the thought, all the hopes she never thought were there crumbling to pieces.
"Master said he couldn't come himself and tell you because he has a lot to arrange so he asked me, as I was lucky enough to be at the guild that moment" she continued to say what she was saying, as if Lucy never interrupted her. After the girl stopped, silence surrounded them.
Lucy was all lost in thoughts. Natsu was dead. He really was. They found his body. She realized she was actually hoping he wasn't dead. 'Natsu is strong' she used to think 'He won't die so easily'. But now he was gone...
"No" the white-haired mage finally said. Seeing the questioning look on Lucy's face, she continued. "No, they didn't find his body".
Hopes. Hopes were invading Lucy once again. They didn't find the body. He may still be alive. But then again, her hopes failed her as she realized the true meaning behind the girls' answer.
"So... they are giving up..?" Lucy whispered again, feeling all her body numb from shock. The people Natsu loved with all his might gave up on him so easily?
"They are giving up on him?!" She yelled this time.
But the girl wasn't paying any attention to Lucy anymore. She walked quickly to a shelf back in the corner of the room. Lucy waited for her to say anything, but the girl simply stood there still.
Lucy walked next to her. She realized why the girl stood so still. She was looking at a photo. A photo Lucy forgot all about as Happy probably hid it in one of the many times he came here. It was a photo taken in their first mission as a team Lucy-Erza-Gray-Natsu-Happy. A photo Erza insisted on taking and, at that time, they were too afraid to not do what Erza said. The 5 of them were in the photo: Erza was in the right of the photo, the scarlet-haired mage looking dangerous even when she smiled, her armour shinning in the bright sun, Gray was under one of Erza's arms, mimicking a smile while he looked scared as if Erza would crush him any moment, he of course, being shirtless, next to Gray was Lucy, with her blonde hair blown away by the wind, laughing from all her heart at Natsu and Gray who pretended to like each other for Erza's sake, and holding Lucy with one arm was Natsu, his usual grin lighted up his dark eyes, while his other hand was behind his head, and in front of them all was Happy, Natsu's exceed, who was smiling.
Both of the girls' eyes were stuck on the picture. Lucy, with some effort, moved her gaze on the girl next to her; whose fists were clenched and her eyes were full of tears.
"Lisanna..." Lucy stretched out her hand to put it on the girl's head but before she could touch her, Lisanna brutally moved away, throwing daggers with her eyes at Lucy.
Lucy took her hand away. She was calm. Her merciful part felt pity once again for the white-haired mage. Another mistake. And the same one too.
Lisanna brushed off her tears with a move and walked away from Lucy, heading for the door. She suddenly stopped and turned around.
"You know, Lucy..." The venom in her voice when she said Lucy's name was so clear it made Lucy's hand unconsciously move and grab her keys. "Do you know what he told me the day he left in that cursed mission?!" She yelled. She continued anyway, giving no chance Lucy to guess. "He told me to stay safe. He told me I am one of his precious people. He told me to wait for him. He told me that when he comes back he has to ask me something... Can you guess what he wanted to ask me..? Finally, he was about to..." She whispered and looked Lucy in the eyes. Every word Lisanna said hurt Lucy like a dagger in the heart. He told Lisanna all those things right before giving his life to save the girl he said he loves with his last breath. Lucy was shaking. She put her arms around herself, wanting to cry once again. So what he told her wasn't true. He just said it to comfort her for his loss. He never meant to imply anything with that. Just that she was his nakama and that he loved his nakama. But he told Lisanna she is one of his precious people too. He almost said the same things to both of them. The only thing Lisanna had and Lucy hadn't was the promise of a question. A question which most probably would be about Lisanna's feelings for him.
Unaware of the internal struggle Lucy was bearing, Lisanna continued yelling "He was about to confess! But then he left with you in that horrid mission. He loves his nakama. You know that. He'd do anything for them. And you! It is all your fault! If you weren't so weak and would've defended yourself he wouldn't have had to jump in front of your stupid self! He wouldn't be dead now. He would be here. With me! I hate you...!" She yelled, while crying. Lucy just stood there, facing the floor, with her arms around her waist. She was right and she knew it. She just couldn't bear to admit. Because admitting would only mean that Lisanna won, that she meant nothing for the dragon-slayer, that his last words were words he would've told to anybody he cared for.
Lisanna was clearly waiting for a response. As she got none, she turned around and stormed off while saying with an equal tone "We are all meeting at the guild in an hour".
Lucy didn't move an inch. She was staying in the middle of the room, right where Lisanna left her, with her eyes fixed on the floor. She was sure now. Lisanna was right. It was all her fault. If she hadn't been so weak... She wasn't a good nakama. A nakama was somebody you'd give your life for. Natsu was her nakama. She shouldn't have let him die for her. It was all her fault...
As if he was listening to her thoughts, her eyes suddenly fell on the photo on the shelf. She stood there still, looking at the happy Natsu, at his large grin she'll never see again. He'll never be able to find Igneel, his dragon father. He'll never be able to carry out his dreams. He'll never be able to ask everybody to fight him. He'll never be able to fight and surpass the person he admires most: Gildarts.
Her hand made its way to her face, where she brushed off her tears. She straightened up, never for once taking her eyes off the photo. The difference from few seconds ago was that her eyes were now full of determination. She was guilty of Natsu's death. She didn't deny that. It all happened because she was weak. She'll change that. She'll train and become stronger. She'll live her life to the fullest, dedicating every moment of it to Natsu. But most of all, she won't give up on him. Never. He'll be her reason to live.
She smiled at her thoughts, feeling a lot better now that she somehow was going to pay her debts to the dragon-slayer. Just a small insignificant part of her debts. She'll never be able to fully be free from what Natsu did for her.
Looking at the clock on the wall and seeing she only had a few more minutes until she'll have to leave for the guild, she quickly put on a black dress.
Looking in the mirror, she felt unsure. She shouldn't wear black. Black meant she accepted his death. But she couldn't wear anything else as it would mean she disrespected the feelings of all the others and Natsu himself. She finally decided and put on a red headband. Red which symbolized Natsu's fire. Fire that in her heart, was still burning.
She put her keys in one of her pockets, then changed her mind and took them out again.
"Open gate to the Leo!" She demanded. A flash of white and Loki was standing in front of her, dressed all in black, but with a red tie, matching Lucy's idea. His hair was falling on his face, covering his glasses.
"Lucy..." He whispered and immediately hugged her.
Lucy was taken by surprise and was already on her way to push him away when she hugged him back. She was even more surprised by her action than him. 'Looks like I needed a hug after all...' she thought.
"Thought you would also want to take part..." She smiled at the spirit, after they separated from their hug.
"Thank you." He told her. He took her arm and they together made their way to the guild.
A/N: Uhmm well this is it. I really hope you guys liked it. And even if you didn't I would, like, enormously appreciate if you'd review. Good or bad, they'll help me write better in the future. Thanks for reading it anyway ^^