By all rights, Josh should be dead right now with a bullet between his eyes. But here he was, heart still beating and blood pumping through his veins. He's had some close calls before and knocked on death's door more times than he'd care to admit, but he's never felt more alive than in this moment. Josh was still so wired with adrenaline that he couldn't go to sleep. Luckily, he's wasn't the only one awake. Vasquez and Goody were still huddled around the campfire while everyone else slept soundly.
After Josh's many failed attempts to fall asleep, he ended up right there with them by the fire. He had a stick and was poking at the fire with it, mind racing over the events of the day. He'd be dead if it weren't for that Native Red Harvest and his insane reflexes. One moment Josh had a rifle aimed point blank at his head and the next there was an arrow sticking through his attacker's chest. It all happened so fast. Josh wasn't sure if it actually did until Red Harvest came up and yanked the arrow out of the other man's body.
The expression on Red's face had been devoid of any emotion as he regarded the well-being of his cohort. Josh could only describe it as the stare of a man who's killed at least a dozen white men and is completely okay with killing one more. Josh knew that if things were a little different in this world and he turned out to be someone else entirely, that arrow would have been meant for him. But Red Harvest chose to save him and that left Josh with an overwhelming sense of gratitude.
Vasquez and Goody were idly chattering back and forth as Josh sat there illuminated by the glow of the fire, staring out in the distance beyond the camp. He spotted Red Harvest perched on a big rock, keeping watch over everyone as they slept quietly. Josh isn't sure if he ever saw the boy sleep, come to think of it. How those Natives were capable of surviving with no sleep and little food was beyond Josh's understanding. Those people were clearly on a higher plane of being.
Josh watched as Red Harvest scanned the surrounding area and beyond with his hawk like gaze and finely tuned senses. Red Harvest hadn't said anything to Josh after saving his life and the white man didn't even get the chance to thank him for doing so. Josh had been too paralyzed in shock and awe to do much of anything after his brush with death. Now that his head was clear and his nerves had settled some, Josh felt guilty for not saying something to Red Harvest a lot sooner.
Before he knew it, Josh tossed the stick away and was getting up from his spot by the campfire. He dusted himself off and straightened his vest out slightly, mostly as an afterthought. His movement stirred Vasquez and Goody out of their conversation and both men looked up at Josh with a curious gaze.
"Gonna catch ya some sleep?" Goody asked, making Josh pivot on his heel.
"I figured I'd go and keep Red company," Josh explained, feeling confident.
Vasquez and Goody shared a hearty chuckle amongst themselves, taking Josh for a fool, but it died down gradually when Josh's face remained impassive.
"You're serious?" Goody inquired, a look of amazed horror spreading across his face. "Are you trying to get yourself scalped?"
"Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if guerro here ends up getting skinned from head to toe," Vasquez jokingly added, slapping at his knee.
"I plan on keeping my hair and my hide exactly where they are, thank you very much," Josh defended, finding their attitudes to be in poor taste. "Besides, y'all never tried speaking to him before, so how would you know?"
"Cus he's a redskin who don't speak english," Goody stated blatantly. "Sam's the only one who knows what he's saying half the time and even if he does have a good grasp on the english language, what makes you think he'd waste it talkin' to you?"
"I'm a funny guy!" Josh boasted, hooking his thumbs at himself. "I have a good story or two in me to keep someone entertained."
"I think what Goody's trying to say is that you're the wrong color to be bonding with a Native, hombre," Vasquez enlightened, giving a small shrug.
"You, Sam, and Billy come from a more colorful background and we're all friends, aren't we?" Josh argued, flabbergasted by their obtuse outlook.
"Fellas like Red Harvest ain't too keen on making friends with white folk, and for good reason," Goody informed, nodding over towards the young Native off in the distance.
"I ain't like other white folk," Josh claimed, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Red don't care about stuff like that," Vasquez said, shaking his head with disdain. "He comes from a culture where white men aren't to be trusted."
"You know what, to hell with both y'all," Josh admonished, standing his ground. They weren't aware that Red Harvest had saved his life earlier today and Josh didn't plan on telling them either on a count of being embarrassed about it. "At least I ain't a coward for tryin' to talk to him."
"No, it just means you're stupid," Goody barked, sharing another burst of laughter with Vasquez.
Josh rolled his eyes and stomped off, leaving the two men to cackle like a couple of jackals. He didn't need their negativity to keep him from trying to establish a common ground between him and Red Harvest. After all, Red Harvest did save him, so the Native couldn't hate him too much. Besides, the kid had no reason to hate Josh in particular. He never wronged Red in any way from what Josh can remember and he's done right by the group so far. Josh was a nice guy once he warmed up to strangers… Still, it doesn't explain why he was so nervous as he walked over to the young Native warrior.
Even though Josh had a surge of confidence as he approached Red Harvest he was getting cold feet quick, but even as the thought to turn tail and run crossed his mind it was too late. He was already by the huge rock Red Harvest was sitting on and his loud footfalls had attracted the kid's attention. Red Harvest didn't move a muscle when Josh filtered into his peripheral vision, but when Josh didn't say anything Red Harvest did tilt his head in the white man's direction.
"You, uh, see anythin' out there?" Josh started, motioning towards the plain of land in the distance.
Red Harvest regarded Josh with a once over, turning his head further to get a better look at the man, and promptly shook his head. Josh nodded, awkwardly stuffing his hands into his pockets when Red's watchful gaze didn't deviate from him. Josh glanced at Red Harvest, noticing the black and red paint still on the young warrior's face. It was a little smudged from sweat, but remained perfectly intact other than that. Red Harvest gave him a look as if he was asking Josh what he was staring at.
Getting close to Red Harvest was like trying to tame a wild animal. It was a gradual process that required patience, careful footing, and trust. Somehow, this felt more dangerous than taming a wild stallion.
"I like yer war paint, by the way," Josh commented, pointing at his own face to mirror Red Harvest. He gestured along with his words just in case the Native couldn't understand what he was saying. "It brings out the color in yer eyes. Really makes 'em… pop."
Pop? What the hell was he saying? Maybe Josh did have a death wish and any moment Red Harvest would disembowel him for making fun of his culture's traditions. It's not like Josh was doing it on purpose. He was just trying to break the ice by giving the kid a compliment. Josh faltered with his wording when Red Harvest didn't make any attempt to look away from him.
"How old are you?" Josh stammered instead, fidgeting under hawk like eyes. "You look really young. Like yer still a kid. Then again, you could be older and just have one of them faces that don't age. Not that it matters much either way."
"Why do you speak at me?" Red Harvest asked, knocking Josh for a loop when he ditched his mother language and opted to speak in the white man's tongue.
"You speak english? No shit!" Josh nearly exclaimed, face lighting up. "Pardon the language, but hot damn… Yer just full of surprises, Red. How much do you know?"
"Some," Red Harvest replied, finding Josh's reaction a little overzealous but oddly endearing.
"Some is better than none, I suppose. And I ain't too picky about company," Josh gushed with a dumb smile.
"Why do you say these things about my paint?" Red Harvest reiterated before Josh can go on another tangent.
"Oh, uh, it's a compliment," Josh stated plainly. Red Harvest made a face like he wanted Josh to explain and the white man quickly added, "It's somethin' you do when you appreciate someone. You say somethin' you admire about them and it makes them smile."
As Josh said this, Red Harvest's face remained placid and unmoved by his words and Josh smirked to himself.
"Well, at least most of the time it does," Josh shrugged with a brief chuckle.
"Shouldn't you be with your people?" Red Harvest inquired, trying to sound disinterested.
"Well, I hope you take no offense, but I consider you to be my people," Josh revealed, treading over his words carefully.
"White man not my people," Red Harvest dismissed, gaze unwavering as he stared Josh down. Almost like he was insulted by the idea.
Josh frowned slightly, shoulders slumping when Red Harvest didn't automatically agree with him. Josh didn't know what he was expecting in the first place, seeing as how this was a long shot. Did he really think a Native could be his friend? Maybe not… But Josh didn't believe it was entirely unheard of. After all, Josh was used to taking long shots. Red Harvest might be some fierce warrior, but Josh wasn't backing down. Even if the kid scared the hell out of him.
"Now listen here, I know my kind and yer kind don't mix well, and that is a complete understatement, but you've done right by me and the rest of the fellas," Josh explained, asserting himself and standing his ground as he stepped further into Red Harvest's space. "That means yer one us now. Whether you like it or not."
Red Harvest didn't say anything for what seemed like the longest time and just stared at the white man who was bold enough to speak to him with such conviction. Red Harvest has killed men for less than that, but there was something in the way Josh conveyed himself that made the young warrior genuinely curious. He hated to admit it, but he tolerated Josh to some extent. The man was a smooth-talking, wisecracking gambler with a drinking habit, but damn was he handsome and charismatic as hell.
Red Harvest could see the disappointment in his elder's eyes now even as he thought this. He's letting his guard down and practically giving the white man permission to seduce him with words.
"Your words are nothing," Red Harvest deflected, squaring his jaw when Josh wandered too close to him. The warrior stood up from his perch and sized up to Josh, hoping to induce fear in the other man. "Leave now."
"Alright, fine. You win, okay?" Josh conceded, holding his hands up and backing away when Red Harvest advanced on him. They were so close Josh could feel the kid's breath on his lips. "Can I just say one more thing?"
"What?" Red Harvest allowed, inches away from Josh's face to illicit fear.
"I just wanted to thank you for earlier today. You saved my life even though you weren't obligated to and I appreciate that more than you can understand," Josh whispered, like he was too afraid to admit it out loud for fear the others might hear. "Yer one hell of a warrior, kid. You really made me question the way I see yer kind and I respect that. So, in other words, thank you."
Red Harvest looked slightly crestfallen as Josh gave him an apologetic smile before he turned to leave the Native alone. He didn't know why he was still so defensive after all this time traveling with these men, but old habits die hard. Red Harvest was so used to being alone that he automatically shunned anyone who tried to approach him. Josh was one of the more successful in his crusade to befriend him, but even the white man backed down eventually because Red Harvest was too proud to admit he kind of enjoyed the company.
Sure, Josh was loud and ran his mouth and even made some colorful remarks to Vasquez on occasion by imitating the Mexican's language in an ignorant way, but it was good-natured because Vasquez would joke right back with him. Because they were friends. Red Harvest didn't think he'd ever be comfortable with Josh making fun of his culture, even as a joke, but he could be the white man's friend if he really tried. Josh hadn't made fun of him once when he was talking, so Josh seemed to respect Red Harvest enough not to pull that charade on him. Or maybe he was too terrified to try.
Either way, Red Harvest found himself reaching out to grab Josh by the arm before he could make his slow retreat back to the camp. Josh spun around, taken aback by the way Red Harvest grappled at his bicep. The look on the kid's face was even more priceless as he was actually showing his emotions for once. Josh thought he could see worry on the young warrior's face as well as a smidgen of heartache. Like he was upset Josh didn't try harder to get through to him.
"Why do you treat me as your equal?" Red Harvest demanded, pulling Josh in close to him as he searched the white man's face for any hint of deceit.
"I already told you why. How come you saved my life?" Josh shot back in rapid fire. Sometimes his talking was just as fast as his gunslinging. "You had no reason to. None of the other fellas was there, you coulda let that yellow-bellied poor sport shoot me and rob me blind and they woulda been none the wiser, but you didn't. Hell, I ain't even sure what you were doing out there in the first place. Unless you was already followin' me."
The grip on Josh's arm faltered for a moment, loosening slightly as Red Harvest slowly let go of the white man and let his hand drop down to his side. It's true. Red Harvest had been following Josh. He followed him down to the saloon and watched him play cards with a few unfortunate men gullible enough to bet all their money. Josh pulled the same tricks he usually did by showing off his slide of hand and illusions the white man called magic. Red Harvest didn't know why he followed Josh. Maybe he was curious to see the man in his natural environment or maybe, deep down, he really did care for Josh's well-being and opted to look out for him.
"Look, I don't care what you were doin'. If you were followin' me or not," Josh sighed, seeing the war raging in Red Harvest's eyes. "But letting yer guard down just a little bit and enjoyin' the company of others doesn't have to be as hard as yer makin' it. We ain't about to stab you in the back while you sleep. If you even do sleep, that is..."
"I sleep," Red Harvest claimed, offering what seemed like a small smile. It was hard to tell because of the face paint.
"Coulda fooled me," Josh commented, letting his voice drop to a low rumble.
"Wouldn't be hard," Red Harvest jested, grinning from ear to ear this time when his remark finally dawned on the white man.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say that was a joke," Josh observed, crossing his arms over his chest as if he was impressed by the young Native's quick tongue.
"My people are fierce warriors, but even we still have a sense of humor," Red Harvest explained, feeling pleased that he was surprising Josh. It felt great to see that look of wonder flit across Josh's face.
"Color me impressed, then," Josh huffed with a deep chuckle.
Josh spared a glance over to the campfire, noticing Vasquez and Goody had turned in for the night, and turned back to Red Harvest who hadn't stopped staring at him. There was something peculiar in Red's gaze, something unreadable that begged explanation, and it made the hairs on Josh's arms stand up. A cool breeze passed through and it made a shudder roll down Josh's spine. He wrapped his arms around himself and jerked his head over towards the fire.
"It's gettin' a little chilly out here. You wanna join me by the fire?" Josh offered with a hopeful arch of his brows.
"I need to keep watch," Red Harvest said as an excuse, but Josh wasn't having it.
"Taking a break ain't gonna get you killed," Josh urged, grabbing Red Harvest by the wrist and pulling him along slightly.
"It might," Red Harvest surmised, not even attempting to pull himself free from Josh's grip.
"Come on," Josh enforced, tugging Red Harvest over towards the fire.
Red Harvest followed the white man, not having much choice in the matter, and let Josh lower him onto the log near the campfire. Normally, Red Harvest wouldn't have let anyone direct him around like a child, let alone touch him, but Josh seemed adamant on touching the young warrior as much as possible. He was ashamed to admit it, but Red Harvest didn't mind feeling Josh's gentle grip wrapped around his wrist.
The warmth of the fire washed over Red Harvest's bared arms and chest and he sighed with content. He hadn't realized how cold he was until now. Josh took a seat next to the Native, scooting in rather close to Red Harvest as he did. He was so close to the young warrior that his body heat had started to radiate off of him and seep into the tanned skin pressed up against Josh's own arm. Oddly enough, Red Harvest made no effort to move away from Josh despite the man invading his personal space.
"Ain't this nice?" Josh asked, his voice nothing more than a faint murmur against Red's ear. Josh reached out and ran a hand down the kid's bicep, squeezing the muscles there slightly. "I can already feel you warmin' up. I don't see how you could possibly keep warm dressed the way you are."
"What's wrong with how I dress?" Red Harvest inquired defensively, cheeks filling in with heat.
"Nothin'!" Josh gushed immediately, dropping a hand down to clutch at Red Harvest's knee tenderly as if the kid might get up and leave. "I like the things you wear. I think puttin' yerself on display the way you do instills fear in the hearts of men."
"How do you mean?" Red Harvest asked, scrunching his eyebrows at the white man curiously as he glanced down at the hand on his leg.
"Well, yer showin' off all them muscles. Lettin' people know how strong you are," Josh elaborated, looking directly into Red Harvest's eyes. They're so close they can feel each other's breaths fanning over their faces. "Although, to be honest, they don't scare me much."
"No?"
"Not at all," Josh said in a sultry tone.
"Why not?" Red Harvest pressed, feeling himself lean further into Josh's body heat.
"I guess you can say I'm impressed by yer body more than anythin'," Josh stammered, trying to pick his words carefully as his thumb idly rubbed over Red's leg. "Yer very well built and firm. I appreciate a man who could probably knock me on my ass."
"I wouldn't want to hurt you," Red Harvest admitted, gauging Josh's reaction as he did.
The glow from the fire flickered and danced across Red Harvest's painted face, illuminating him as something otherworldly and fierce. As something to be reckoned with. The low light of the fire somehow managed to make the Native appear much older than he was, almost like he was hardened by death and war and it made Josh's heart race. He felt like he was burning up from being this close to the fire, but then he realized he was hot because of being near Red Harvest.
"Maybe I deserve it?" Josh reasoned, murmuring because he was already so close to the kid.
"You have done nothing wrong," Red Harvest stated, letting himself be drawn in by the allure of the white man.
"Not yet, but I could. I could do the most wrong thing in the world this very moment," Josh issued, curling his hand in towards Red's thigh tenderly. "I guarantee it'll earn me a busted lip and a nice shiner. Assumin' you don't kill me first, that is."
"Try and find out," Red Harvest challenged, daring Josh to make the move he was too nervous to do himself.
"Suppose yer right," Josh concurred, licking his lips nervously.
He leaned in towards Red Harvest by a small fraction, noticing the way the kid didn't budge from his spot as he did. The heat radiating between them was almost unbearable and it got to the point where Josh could feel a bead of sweat rolling down the small of his back. Red Harvest's presence was so intoxicating that it left Josh slightly light-headed. Josh got as close as pressing his forehead against Red's before he stopped dead in his tracks and reluctantly chickened out at the last second.
Josh leaned back, giving Red Harvest his space once again and retracted his hand. Red Harvest was taken aback by Josh's sudden reluctance and the expression on the kid's face almost looked disappointed as his jaw clenched rhythmically when nothing happened. It didn't make sense to Red Harvest why Josh wouldn't go through with it when he got so far with the young warrior. He got to the point where their lips were almost touching and Red Harvest hadn't even flinched. It was clear that Red was going to let Josh follow through with his plan.
"I guess I don't got the stones after all," Josh laughed off nervously, heart pounding so fast he thought he might go into cardiac arrest. "I shouldn't have bothered you. I'm sorry."
Red Harvest's heart dropped ever so slightly and he tried not to look obvious when his shoulders slumped. Josh was scooting away from him, clearly feeling guilty that he almost took advantage of the situation just to sate his own personal need to get something he couldn't have. Josh turned back to stare resolutely at the fire and made a motion as if he was fixing to stand up and walk away. In an act of desperation, Red Harvest reached out with his quick reflexes and grabbed Josh by the front of his vest.
He yanked Josh back down onto the log, causing him to topple over and fall into Red Harvest. Josh's hands instinctively went out in front of him to stop him from falling and ended up gripping tightly onto one of Red Harvest's arms and a thigh. Before Josh knew what hit him, the young Native had their mouths pressed firmly against one another. Josh breathed in sharply through his nose and let his lips lock into place with Red's.
Red Harvest grappled at the front of Josh's vest, knuckles turning white from how hard he was clenching his fists, too afraid to let go. After a brief moment terror washed over Josh, the white man relaxed and settled into the kiss properly. He rubbed a soothing hand up along Red Harvest's bare arm and curled the other around one of the kid's hips to hold him in place. Red Harvest let out a sigh as he tilted his head into the kiss and deepened it.
Eventually, Red Harvest relaxed when he felt Josh wouldn't try to hightail it out of here and ran his hands up the man's chest. His hands curled over Josh's broad shoulders and gripped tenderly at the knots he felt under his fingertips. Josh made an appreciative noise deep in his throat and opened his mouth against Red Harvest's ever so slightly. Red Harvest took the hint and mimicked the white man's movement until he could feel his tongue running along his bottom lip.
Josh's tongue found it's way inside of Red Harvest's mouth and sought out contact. Red Harvest let his tongue curl and press against Josh's in an undulating caress that mingle with dampness. Josh could taste the faint traces of blood in Red's mouth from the animal he hunted down earlier for the group. It was an odd flavor, nothing like how a kiss of this nature should taste, but it was weirdly pleasant and fitting considering who Josh was kissing right now and Josh wouldn't have it any other way.
Josh realized, belatedly, that one of the guys can wake up at any moment and catch him kissing Red Harvest, but it didn't deter him from his efforts. They could all be watching him and the kid going at it for all he cared. There wasn't a damn thing that would stop Josh from kissing Red Harvest now. The world could be ending and Josh would gladly die a happy man just to feel those firm but soft lips against his for just one second longer. Josh had to stop himself from wanting to cup Red's face a few times so as not to disturb his face paint.
After another brief interval, they parted from each other breathlessly, but not before Red Harvest nipped gently at Josh's bottom lip. Neither one of them wanted to stop and the tingling sensation left from the kiss lingered long after they caught their breath. They pressed their foreheads together and Red Harvest just stared deeply into the white man's eyes, rubbing idly at broad shoulders and occasionally reaching up to caress Josh's stubbled face in his hands.
Red Harvest hadn't the faintest idea what made him want to kiss Josh, but he suddenly didn't want to let go of the man. Even now as they sit here by the campfire staring at each other and breathing in their shared oxygen, Red Harvest is feeling protective of his companion. Red Harvest still didn't trust white men as far as he could throw them, but Josh was different. Josh wasn't condescending or aggressive towards him and he had been afraid to kiss Red Harvest.
The young warrior knew Josh had a lot of bite when it was necessary, but he could also bark up a storm without having the conviction to back it up. Maybe that's what separated him from other white men. Despite how much Josh would deny it, he actually had a lot of compassion and a conscience. He protected his friends and he treated them with respect, aside from the times when he'd been too busy hitting a bottle and civility flew out the window. It also helped that Josh was kind of scared of Red Harvest.
"Well, I guess that answers that question," Josh offered, clearing his throat to let out an anxious chuckle. His face was as red as the warrior's face paint. "That was really somethin' else. I ain't never done nothin' like that."
"With a Native?" Red Harvest inquired, still holding onto Josh.
"With a man," Josh admitted, feeling hot shame wash over him as the words stuck in his throat. "Always been too afraid to try. Too ashamed."
"You enjoy?" Red Harvest pressed, anxious to hear what Josh might say.
"How could I not?" Josh hummed, fingering curiously at Red's vest. He felt guilty for admitting it out loud.
"No reason to be ashamed, then," Red Harvest affirmed, kissing Josh's softly on the lips in a gentle embrace. "We're all children of Earth. It's in our nature to love and be loved."
Red Harvest leaned back, making Josh take a good look at him as the fire danced around the shadows on their faces. Red Harvest extended a hand out towards Josh and laid the flat of his palm against Josh's beating heart, causing the white man to shudder from the sudden warmth.
"To feel connected with another," Red Harvest continued, noticing the way Josh's heart sped up.
"Oh, Red…" Josh sighed, draping his hand over Red Harvest's in an affectionate gesture. "It ain't so simple."
"Life not simple," Red Harvest argued, feeling the heat rise in his cheeks. "White man always want easy. But life not easy. You learn. You grow. You want happiness, you earn it. Not give up! Life too short to live in fear."
Josh is taken aback by the kid's sudden passion on the matter. He never expected Red Harvest to speak english, let alone be able to rattle off philosophic advice on how Josh should stop being such a coward and toughen up. The young warrior had a fiery attitude as he spoke and his tone was firm and demanding. He couldn't have foreseen Red Harvest to be so intense and opinionated on such trivial topics like love and life, but it made Josh fall even harder for the young Native.
"You're right," Josh concurred, voice nothing but a small murmur by now. "If I want somethin', I gotta fight for it no matter what the cost."
Josh curled his hand around the palm pressed up against his heart and held it in place, staring deeply into Red Harvest's eyes like he could fall in them at any moment. This time Josh brought a hand up to the warrior's face and cupped it in an ardent caress, throwing caution to the wind as he stroked a thumb over Red Harvest's painted face. Despite the queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach where guilt twisted into shame, this felt right. Touching and kissing Red Harvest felt good, but above all else it felt right and that's all that mattered.
Still, Josh felt vulnerable and alone after giving himself over to one of his more abnormal desires and the thought of bearing the burden by himself made his head spin with dizziness.
"I can't do it on my own," Josh croaked, bearing himself to the young Native before him.
Red Harvest smiled, actually smiled, and shook his head fondly. He ran a hand through Josh's hair, giving it a once over before slender fingers wrapped around the back of Josh's perspiring nape in a tender embrace.
"You don't have to," Red Harvest vowed, sealing his promise with a kiss.