Mamoru growled silently as he watched her accept a scrap of paper from another guy. He was sure it was a phone number. That he'd never seen her give hers out didn't make him feel any better. Nothing in this situation made him feel better, except that he'd kept his morals.
She hadn't even noticed him, sitting here. True, they hadn't seen each other in four years, but he still felt hurt by her lack of attention. It was decidedly unsettling, like this was a different place, not his hometown. He couldn't think of any time before that she'd ever ignored him. Even in their accidental run-in two days earlier had been lackluster, her attention obviously elsewhere.
He'd met Usagi for the first time when she was only a year old. Her brother Motoki had brought him home from school to play. When they'd arrived, a stumbling, giggling blonde had grabbed him and started drooling all over him. He'd never let her forget that.
Her stuttered, blushing denials had been hilarious.
Now, though, he wasn't sure he could get such a reaction from her. Cool as she was, she'd probably just blow it off with a laugh, saying that everyone did silly things when they were that young.
She wasn't young anymore.
Well, that's not entirely correct. She was a young woman. No one would mistake her for the girl she used to be. Long, tanned legs were a far cry from the spindly, knobby-kneed limbs she used to sport. Hands and arms gestured delicately, showing no hint that she used to routinely smack the walls when she talked. A delicate, lovely face looked like it had never sported those bright pink kool-aid moustaches she used to get. The freckles that had been the bane of her existence were faded, though he thought he might be able to find them if he was right in front of her. Her chest had held promise even at fourteen, and she hadn't disappointed in that. Her waist looked as if she was no longer addicted to sweets, but he doubted that was the case. She probably just worked it off being cheerful.
That was one thing that hadn't changed. She was still the most cheerful person he'd ever met. Even her brother, who had one time kept smiling through a hoodie strangulation attempt, wasn't as sunny as she was. Her smile could always coax an answering one from him while she was younger, despite whatever foul mood he was in. Now it hit him like a fist to the gut, despite the fact that it had yet to be directed at him.
She was beautiful, and he realized it now. Now, when it was too late. Now, when she had moved on.
He's still there! Her mind screamed at her, though she let no hint of her internal freak-out show in her manner. He's still there, and he's glaring at me! Do I have spinach in my teeth? Doughnut on my face? Toilet paper on my shoe? Did I tuck my dress into my underwear? Why is he looking at me like that?
In the midst of her Mamoru-fueled dithering, she didn't even notice that she was wearing shorts, hadn't had spinach in two days, and had wiped her face off after the doughnut. She barely noticed the guy she was talking to. It wasn't until he handed her a piece of paper with a number on it that she was really aware that they were (apparently) flirting. Well, mystery dude was. She was being polite and trying not to hurl on his shoes from nervousness.
The guy gave her one last dimpled, charming smile, but it was wasted on her. He wasn't Mamoru. That was all she needed to know. She'd had a couple dozen different dates, but none of them had really reached her. She'd spent four years learning grace and poise, in the hope that Mamoru, upon returning from university, would realize she wasn't still a child.
Suddenly a new thought assailed her, and she had to sit herself down on a nearby bench as it made her bile rise again. Maybe he noticed, but doesn't approve? What if he thinks I look like a tramp, or something?
The thought that he might be disgusted with her made her want to cry, but she firmly took herself in hand. I don't know that. She chided herself. I don't know that he's even mad at me for sure. Quit freaking out.
She looked right over at him, and caught a brief flash of panic in his eyes before it was quickly smothered. She ignored it, not wanting to think about why he would be panicked. Instead she smiled at him, a little more hesitantly than normal, and gestured him to come sit next to her.
He shifted from foot to foot for a moment, then nodded and came over. He dropped down beside her silently. She wasn't too surprised. He'd always been a man of few words. Still, the silence felt strained. She looked down at her hands, rubbing the edges of her nails as if looking for rough edges. Finally she was able to think of an innocuous starter. "How do you like being home? You've had a couple days to settle back in now."
Mamoru shrugged and dropped his elbows over the back of the bench. "It's... odd. Everything's so much the same, then I run across something different. It almost feels like a dream world, sometimes."
She held herself quite still, not shivering like she wanted. He might not even be aware of the edge to his voice, but she heard it. She'd always been very attuned to him. Odd wasn't really his word of choice. He was disturbed and angry about some of the changes. She was sure part of that was her fault.
I must make him feel old. She thought sadly. He didn't really sound like he was mad at her, but some inner prompting told her that she was part of his disquiet.
That wasn't what she wanted.
They made some small talk, but both could tell that the other was no more interested then they themselves were. Finally Usagi excused herself, saying she had a date to keep. It was the truth, but she knew she was in no mood to go to the amusement park with her classmate Seiya. Even if she hadn't had that rather depressing run in with Mamoru, she still wouldn't have felt like going. Not with Mamoru here.
While he was away at university, she had dated guys. He had seemed so far out of her reach that it didn't seem fair to put the others off in his name. Plus it had felt... rude. She had no right to lay a claim on him, and she knew that he'd never implied he'd wanted to lay a claim on her. Now he was back, and all she wanted to do was march right up to him, look him in the eye, and announce 'I'm not a child anymore.' She couldn't know how he'd take that, though. He might just give her an annoyed once over and say something scathing that implied both that he'd noticed and that she wasn't as grown up as she thought. It was what he'd always said to those protestations before.
She squared her shoulders and marched off to meet Seiya, despite knowing that there was no way Mamoru could still see her. She had a date. He appreciated that she was all woman now. Mamoru could just stuff it if he didn't agree.
She's all woman now. Mamoru thought, dropping his head back over the back of the bench. And she knows it. She's off on dates, and collecting numbers, and...He rolled his head to the side viciously and screwed his eyes shut. And now that she's discovered just how special she is, I can't help but want her!
He brooded for a while on the unfairness of the universe, for letting a girl he cared for grow up. He didn't want her all grown up and running off on dates. He missed her trailing after him with stars in her eyes, annoying as he found it then. She was adorable as a child. He didn't know what to do with her all alluring and desirable. He hauled himself off the bench and stalked home, unconsciously mirroring the stony expression on Usagi's face at the same moment.
Usagi sat in her room, tears dripping from her face. The cooler in her hand was barely touched. She'd felt she needed it from irritation after her date. Seiya had been getting on her nerves from the get-go. Finally she'd admitted to herself that it wasn't him she was mad at. She was mad because the appreciative looks and careful touches he gave weren't coming from him. Seiya couldn't be held responsible for not being Mamoru. That wasn't fair.
Not that she was feeling particularly fair. How was it fair that she was barely noticed by the man she'd loved her whole life? What was fair about him being able to come back to town and cut all her self-assurance to shreds? Who would say it was fair that the only man she couldn't attract was the only one she could care for?
She crumpled again at the thought and threw herself to her floor, silent sobs ripping through her body. She daren't make any noise that would alert her family that all wasn't well in her room. They were used to her locking her door and having an impromptu fashion show or spa treatment with her headphones on. They had compromised on headphones since she was the only one in her house who liked her music. Apparently, sappy, girly songs were not considered good listening by either her twenty-two year old brother, her fourteen year old brother, or her forty-seven year old father. She suspected her mother liked it better than she said, but she wasn't going to blow the cool-cover.
So she knew she could sob safely in her room without anyone worrying as long as she stayed silent and made sure her face was clean after. She'd done it before after a fight with her friends or when she was missing Mamoru or even back when he would say things that would hurt her accidentally.
That was why she was shocked right out of her tears when she heard a knock on her door. No one ever knocked on her door. They might yell for her, but it was only a one-time thing. Her earphones really were her best friends. She frowned at it as the knocking continued. The knob was tried, then the knocking resumed. This time it was accompanied by a voice.
"Usa? Open up, Usa. I know you're not actually listening to music up there. Don't make me go make an excuse to borrow Dad's keys. If I honestly do have to paint the landing to get to talk to you, I'm making you help."
The exasperated tone of the second half of that comment made her giggle. She knew it was a mistake as soon as she did it. "Now you've given me proof. I'm not leaving, sis. Let me in. I have something to tell you." She could here the smile in Motoki's voice at having outfoxed her. She sighed theatrically and went to go open the door, hoping it was only him.
He smiled at her and shook his head as she peeked carefully out into the hallway. "Shingo went to a friend's house a while ago and our parents are cheerfully competing with each other and everyone else on Jeopardy." She nodded, relieved. She could faintly hear her father yelling "Zeus! The head of the Greek pantheon was Zeus!"
She gestured him in. Motoki accepted her invitation with mock gravity, though he did give an exaggerated shudder at all of the pink in the room. It was a running joke with them, and it relaxed her. She joined him in sitting on her bed after closing and re-locking her door. He reached out a plucked a picture off of her forehead. She'd forgotten that she'd taken her photos out of their boxes earlier. He raised an eyebrow and she just blushed. He took in her upended photos, her mostly full cooler, the evidence that she'd spent more time than normal getting ready today, and the empty box that had held her emergency chocolate stash until earlier that day.
The other eyebrow raised to join its partner. "I don't think this is all over that Seiya guy you were going out with."
Just that one comment was enough to bring her defences crumbling down. Her tears started again, and Motoki held her as she sobbed soundlessly. He rubbed her back and muttered soothing sounds as she did this.
Once she'd started to calm down, Motoki broke the silence. "You know, I really want to punch that tactless best friend of mine."
Usagi raised her head to look up at her big brother. "Really? Why?"
His eyes betrayed his seriousness. "Because he does this to you. What did he say this time?"
She shrugged, not really sure how to explain what had happened that afternoon. Her brother sighed. "I see. So what did he not-say-but-really-imply?"
The description made her grin weakly. "All he said was that being back felt... odd."
Motoki looked at her through half-closed eyes. "That's not what's got you all knotted up, Usa. You know what they say about not being able to go home. You noticed it, yourself, when you went back to visit your younger friend at the junior high."
She looked over at the wall of her room, doing the same nervous gesture with her hands that she'd been doing earlier. Motoki kept quiet, waiting for her to tell him. "It's... it's... more a sense than anything. Like I'm one of those odd things. Like he doesn't like me like this at all. Like he'd rather I was still a child. That would make it easier to reject me, I'm sure. When we talk now, it's stilted. It's dead. We can't even hold a conversation. And earlier he was glaring at me! It was actually kind of scary. Then we couldn't speak, then he was grouchy, then..." She shrugged, not sure how to put into words things she didn't even know she was feeling. "'Toki, what am I going to do? I don't know what to think, or how to act, or what to say... How to I let him know that I'm not a little girl anymore?"
He was silent for a moment, remembering the previous times she'd been like this over exactly that question. The only difference was, this time he agreed with her.
He was pretty sure Mamoru did too.
He thought about the conversation he'd had with that idiot just earlier this week.
"How are you okay with this?" The dark haired man demanded, glaring at his blonde foil. Blue eyes met green in a silent battle of the wills.
Motoki shrugged. "She's eighteen. Four years ago you told me Reika was old enough to ask out as a woman, not a girl, and she was only seventeen. Granted, Reika's more mature than Usa, but that's not all of it."
He looked directly at his best friend, willing his words to make it through. "She graduated high school last month. She's been accepted at university for her teaching degree. She can vote soon. She has her drivers license."
He gave that a moment to sink in before continuing. "At that age, someone calling us children would have caused us to go drag racing in my Dad's car or something. I'm not saying that's not childish, but it's how teenagers react. I'd rather she dates guys here, where I can hang around to beat any over-friendly ones up, than while she's away."
Defiant blue eyes snapped over a mulishly set mouth. "She's still not up for this. Those guys are all over her. She can't know what they want from her. She's going to get hurt."
Annoyed green eyes met the blue fearlessly, their owner layering sarcasm over his words with a trowel. "When you left, yes. Then, she was fourteen, and younger than she thought. You've been gone for four full years. She's not the little Usa you left, and trying to make her that will just cause us all grief. She grew up. Deal with it."
"I think he's just worried." Motoki sounded, considering the idea as he said it.
"Worried?" Confused blue eyes met contemplative green ones. "What does he have to be worried about?"
"You." He replied, then sighed when he realized she still didn't get it. "Usa, he hasn't been here for four years. It hasn't quite sunk in that you're all grown up, yet he can see that you are whenever he sees you. He's having trouble combining the two ideas.
"Let me say this another way. What would you say if Shingo started dating Mika?"
She tilted her head to the side, still not getting it. "I'd think it was cute. Those two would be adorable together."
"What about if she started talking about him the way Ami talks about Zoi? What about if she declared herself willing to do anything to be with him? Would that still be cute?"
"No!" She said, forgetting for a moment to be quiet in her shock. "That's... that's too much for her. She doesn't know what she'd talking about, messing with. She's too young for that."
There was a slight gleam of triumph in her elder brother's eyes. "That's still what Mamoru thinks about you. He hasn't quite realized that you're not fourteen anymore. For him coming back, it's as if everything is like it was then. Except you. And I think he's also sorry he missed out on seeing you for all of those years."
She nodded slowly, willing to admit that could at least be part of the problem. Still, she wasn't as convinced that everything was that simple. "But last time I saw him, he told me..."
"I know." Her brother cut in, voice harsh. "He told me. And I agree with him. If he hadn't said that back then, and it had gotten back to me, I'd have buried him. Best friend or not, you're still my little sister."
She was taken aback by the danger in his voice. "I just..."
"Yes." He replied, obviously not fond of even thinking of it. "I know what you 'just' offered, what you 'just' wanted. I also know how you phrased it, and what you accidentally offered with it." He stood up suddenly and stalked to the door, still visibly upset. "Think about it. You may want to apologize to him for that."
Then he was gone, her door only slightly ajar. She got up and fixed it, almost in a daze. She hadn't expected the anger that her question had raised. She really didn't get why he was so angry with her. She was the one that had been hurt.
She started putting her pictures back, too unsettled to look at them any further. She held her drink to her head, hoping the cool glass would help her think. It didn't work.
Suddenly she stilled, holding in her hand a picture that had the centre cut out of it. Her tears came back as she stared at it. She didn't know why she'd kept the background. She remembered that day like it was yesterday.
She'd worked so hard on this card for him. It was a masterpiece of art, in her opinion. Best of all, it was going to tell him how she felt. She'd never let him know she loved him. But that was written in the card. Mamoru was getting a gift from the whole family, but this card was just from her.
She held it to her, breathless with anticipation. She'd been careful to keep it hidden from both her brothers, as they were both huge pains and would wreck the card or embarrass her. Today was too important for that.
She found Mamoru by himself, and silently crowed over her luck. She rushed up to hug him. Somehow, despite her doing her best to be quiet, he heard her and caught her up in her charge. She giggled, and he put her down quickly. "You're getting bigger, Usa-brat. Soon you might even knock me down with a tackle."
She laughed again, before quieting and holding out her card to him shyly. "Happy Birthday, Mamoru."
"Thanks." He said, touched, taking the card and reading it. His eyebrows shot up at what was written in the card. "Oh."
"Oh?" She said, almost bouncing on her toes from impatience. "'Oh' what?"
Mamoru shrugged and looked away, suddenly embarrassed. "That's... that's nice, Usa."
She peered up at him suspiciously. "Nice?"
He shrugged again, uncomfortable. Suddenly she went from happy to spitting mad, understanding his reluctance. "You don't think I meant it!" She accused hotly.
"I didn't say that I didn't believe you." He said, still looking to the side, she stalked around him, trying to make him look at her. He avoided it.
"You don't have to." She replied bitterly, looking at the toe she was scuffing on the pavement. "I know you better than that." Suddenly she looked up, tears forming in her eyes. "But I do mean it! I do!"
He shook his head and pinned her with a gaze. "You're too young to know what you said, let alone mean it."
She was shaking with anger now. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. He was supposed to hug her and kiss her and ask her out and say they'd always be together. He was not supposed to reject her. "I know what I wrote." She said, her voice very quiet. "I meant what I wrote. Quit treating me like a kid."
"You are a kid." Came the merciless reply. Cold cobalt eyes met angry azure ones.
"I'm twelve years old." She said, quite serious. "I'm not a kid. I'm a big girl."
Mamoru snorted. "You may as well be in diapers, for all it matters here. You don't know what you're saying, and I'm not a pedophile anyways. Go home, Usa, and go play with your dolls. You're not ready for what you're saying."
She had fled then, crying. She hadn't known what pedophilia was at that age. When she finally found out, it had made her go beet red with humiliation. She never knew what had become of the card.
Her eyes widened in horror as the memory finished. She hadn't considered that particular exchange for a long time. Now, remembering what Motoki had said, she paled. At the time she'd been so convinced it was fairy tale love, that it was right. She had never realized what she'd suggested to him with that idea.
She buried her face in her hands, suddenly crimson with embarrassment. She was sure you could fry an egg on her face. "I can't believe I did that." She moaned, rolling onto her back. Another memory surfaced, one much more recent.
"Taku, you're such a creep." It was Yumi speaking, talking down to her ex-boyfriend. "Really, it's bad enough that you stare at girls at every opportunity. You also tend to talk to their chests, and are completely inappropriate PDA-wise. Not to mention you refuse to believe girls are good for anything other than arm candy."
Needless to say, it had been a bad breakup.
"But this takes the cake. What are you thinking? She's only fifteen! I don't care how developed she is, leave her alone! I swear, if I see you going after her, or anyone under the half plus seven creepy rule, I will personally stake you out on an anthill!"
The whole class had roared with laughter and Taku had gone bright red. Common consensus was that Yumi had gone out with him out of the goodness of her heart, to try and set limits for him. They didn't take.
Usagi went beet red again. That had only been a couple of weeks ago. She had been one of the ones laughing, though they all agreed that going out with someone three years younger when you're only eighteen yourself was pushing taste.
I wasn't even fifteen! She thought to herself in horror. I was only fourteen! And he was leaving for university!
She buried her head in a pillow and screwed her eyes shut in an attempt to keep the memory from coming back. It didn't work. Her fingers clenched as she was sucked back into her past.
It was an actual going away party. It seemed like everyone she knew plus everyone else either of the grads know was there. Motoki was only moving across the city so he could make it to his classes on time. Mamoru was moving to a different country, having picked a university there.
Usagi was both thrilled and saddened. She was thrilled that both of them had done so well, but she was sad that soon her big brother and her only love would be leaving.
She was in high school now, and she knew that she'd have to decide what she wanted to be. But not now. Now was for celebrating. Now was for exploring.
Now was for him.
She spotted Mamoru standing by himself off to the side. She knew that he could only stand crowds for so long before he needed a breather. It looked like he was having one now. However, just one other person wasn't likely to put him in a bad mood.
"Hey, Mamoru! Congratulations!" She bounced over and seized him in a hug. He smiled down at her, glad it was her that found him.
"Hey, Usa-brat. Thank you. Are you enjoying the party? That's a nice dress you're wearing, by the way."
"Yup!" She beamed up at him. She'd spent hours in the mall before finding this dress. It was as daring as her parents would let her go, and a lovely pink and blue mix that highlighted her eyes and her cheeks. She'd worn it specifically for him. It showed off that she had no more 'puppy fat' and that her chest had started developing early. She felt particularly proud that he'd noticed.
She was a teenager now, not some silly elementary schooler.
She blushed lightly. "And thank you. You really like it?" She twirled a bit, giving him a better look.
"It's lovely." He replied, laughing at her antics.
"I just got it." She moved in to give him another hug. This time she didn't let go. Instead, she looked up at him through her lashes. Tonight was the night, she was sure. The night they would first kiss.
Except he wasn't cooperating. He was watching the other guests, a small smile on his face. He was supposed to be gazing adoringly at her, not watching everyone else.
She gave him a slight squeeze to get his attention back. It worked, and he looked at her. "Hmm?"
She didn't answer, just pushed up on her tiptoes and pursed her lips some. Something flashed in his eyes for a moment, but it was gone before she could recognize it. In its place was irritation, anger, and something else she didn't know.
That was the point where he firmly pulled her arms off and towed her behind him by the arm until he found an unused room far enough that they could talk, but by no means private. At that point he pushed her down on a chair. He stood over her, arms crossed and scowling. "So what was that about?"
She was confused. She braced one hand on the seat of her chair and reached out with the other one to pluck at his shirt. "About?"
He shifted away from her uneasily, but she still had her tenuous hold on his shirt. "That look. The hug. What game are you playing?"
She drew back slightly in confusion. "Game? I wouldn't play games with you, Mamoru. I just wanted you to kiss me."
He facepalmed, then dropped the elbow onto his other arm, still crossed, to support his head up. He muttered something she didn't catch, then raised his voice so she could actually hear. "Yes... That... Fine, what was that about?"
She still didn't understand why he was acting like this. "About? I love you. I wanted to kiss you, but you're too tall for me to do it myself."
His fingers clenched where they were running through his hair. She couldn't understand why he was acting like this. She dropped her hand to the chair and leaned forward, trying to get her point across. "Mamoru, I really do love you. That's not going to change. But you'll be gone for a long time, and I wanted to have you first."
He took his hand away to shoot her a hard glance, but quickly averted his gaze away. "I'm having nothing to do with your little fantasies. You don't know what you're saying, and you don't know what you're doing. Quit doing this."
She jumped up and grabbed the front of his shirt in both hands. One stayed clenching tight, while the other loosened to rub up and down over his heart. "No Mamoru." She said, staring fearlessly up at him. "I know what I'm doing. It's what I want, and I want it with you. Don't you want it?" She tiled her head to the side, as if this was a new thought for her.
Mamoru just went even more withdrawn. He quickly stripped her hands from him and threw her back into the chair, though he was careful not to hurt her. "I told you two years ago that I wasn't a pedophile. That hasn't changed."
With that he turned on his heel and left. Usagi crumpled and cried. Motoki found her there shortly and got her fixed up and back to the party. However, she didn't speak another word to Mamoru before he left.
She drew back slightly in confusion. "Game? I wouldn't play games with you, Mamoru. I just wanted you to kiss me."
He facepalmed, then dropped the elbow onto his other arm, still crossed, to support his head up. The slight discomfort helped distract him slightly from what his young, very young, friend was doing and saying. "She would have to pull this stupid stunt again." He muttered, then raised his voice so she could actually hear. "Yes... That... Fine, what was that about?"
She still didn't seem to understand his anger. "About? I love you. I wanted to kiss you, but you're too tall for me to do it myself."
His fingers clenched where they were running through his hair. He wished with all his heart at that moment that he could hypnotize her into forgetting her crush or something.. She dropped her hand to the chair and leaned forward, trying to get her point across. "Mamoru, I really do love you. That's not going to change. But you'll be gone for a long time, and I wanted to have you first." He almost groaned aloud at her innocently provocative positioning. She didn't look fourteen, he could admit that. She didn't sound it either.
He took his hand away to shoot her a hard glance, but quickly averted his gaze away. Looking at her was a bad choice right now. She really did look stunning in that dress, and the confusion and worry in her eyes made him want to gather her up and cuddle. She was the only person over five he'd ever wanted to cuddle."I'm having nothing to do with your little fantasies. You don't know what you're saying, and you don't know what you're doing. Quit doing this."
She jumped up and grabbed the front of his shirt in both hands. One stayed clenching tight, while the other loosened to rub up and down over his heart. It took all his willpower not to shudder at that touch. "No Mamoru." She said, staring fearlessly up at him. "I know what I'm doing. It's what I want, and I want it with you. Don't you want it?" She tiled her head to the side, as if this was a new thought for her.
Mamoru was the next thing to undone. He was only a teenaged male, and she was making this most difficult. However, thoughts of her family and age kept him from taking all she didn't know she was offering. He quickly stripped her hands from him and threw her back into the chair, though he was careful not to hurt her. "I told you two years ago that I wasn't a pedophile. That hasn't changed."
He turned on his heel and left, not willing to let her try again. He quickly searched out his best friend and told him all that had happened, though he left out his reaction. They didn't need that between them. Motoki left to go find Usagi and Mamoru left the party, no longer interested in mingling.
He groaned and rolled over onto his back from where he was sprawled on the bed. Then he dug his fingers deep into his ebony hair, unconsciously mimicking his action from four years previously.
After his huge disappointment of an afternoon, he'd retreated to his apartment to sulk. He was good at that. Somehow he'd come across the card he'd been given for his sixteenth birthday. It was sitting on his dresser, looking out at him. The outside was covered with cheerful hearts and stars of all colours, detailed with thin pen. There was also an elaborate Happy Birthday on the front. It was beautiful, but that wasn't what caught his eye.
Mamoru focused once again on those words inside, written in a slightly childish and over-large hand.
Dear Mamoru,
I love you, with all of my heart.
Always, Usagi
He grabbed the card up again to run his fingers over the letters and the heart-shaped picture of the two of them years ago. Always, she had said. He hoped she'd meant it, because today was a day of revelations.
One: Usagi was eighteen, a full adult.
Two: Just because he hadn't been there for her sixteenth birthday didn't mean it hadn't happened. She had grown up.
Three: He hated watching her or hearing about her with other guys because he considered her his. This was something he'd seemingly always thought, since...
Four: He loved her.
He placed the card down gently, then threw himself back down onto the bed. Please don't let it be too late, Usako, please.
So thinking, he slid into an uneasy sleep, where visions of a sweet child and a sultry woman flitted in and out, all graced by laughing blue eyes that held some secret sorrow.
She ran out of her house, leaping benches and fences in her desperate bid to reach the arcade in time. Her friends were there, but she was worried they wouldn't be for long. She had to get there before...
Wham!
She assumed, as she fell, that it was Mamoru. She always hit Mamoru. Then rough, calloused hands gripped her upper arms hard. She didn't even have to look to know it wasn't who she wanted it to be. She quickly got to her feet, apologizing profusely. However, the man still held onto one of her arms. She looked up, startled.
The man, who looked like he could be the missing link, leered at her. "Aww, tha' wasna nice, purty one. Ah think ya should come wi' me, spend some time... 'apologizing', ya ken?"
She tried to yank her arm from his grip, but he wasn't letting go. "I'm sorry, I have to go. I'm meeting some friends soon, and I'm already late."
"Don' go." Was his gruff reply, his eyes making her feel cheap and slimy. She looked away. She was just opening her mouth to scream when she felt his grip loosen.
She looked up to see Mamoru there, his face carefully blank with rage, one hand holding the thug's arm in a grip so tight the fingers were going white. "She already apologized. Don't touch her again. Ever! Now, we have a meeting to keep..." His free hand reached around her shoulder and he carefully led her past the ruffian, careful to keep himself between them at all times. Mamoru didn't look back, so Usagi didn't either. Instead, she scrubbed with her fingers over where he'd held her.
Mamoru steered her towards the arcade, making two turns before thinking to ask if that's where she actually was going. She shrugged, careful not to disturb the arm around her shoulders. "Well, I was, but Rei and Ami weren't actually expecting me, and they'll likely be gone by now. Why?"
Now it was Mamoru's turn to shrug. "Well, if you don't have a particular destination, there's a park just over here. Shall we go there instead?" He dropped his arm from around her, reluctantly. He knew he had no right to claim her, despite her comments from years before. It wasn't like they were dating.
She was sad to feel the arm fall away too. However, all she could reasonably expect from him was company. It wasn't like they were dating.
Mamoru led her over to a fountain and gestured her to sit on the raised lip. She did so, hoisting herself up carefully. Once she was settled, he reached past her to wet his handkerchief. He then used it to wipe off the reddened spots where she'd been rubbing her arms. She was silent as he worked, enjoying his ministrations. Finally he spoke up. "What happened?"
She sighed. "I crashed into him, just like I used to do to you. He caught me before I kissed pavement, and then wouldn't let go. You saw the rest."
"I guess I did." He replied drily. "You know, you probably wouldn't have so much trouble if you didn't wear clothes like this." He gestured jerkily to her denim short-shorts and tank top.
She flushed with both embarrassment and anger. "It's summer." She snapped. "This is practi*sniff*cal..." She was crying now, with shock and fear adding to the mix.
"Usa... Oh, for... I didn't mean it, Usa." He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. He felt her raise her own arms to clutch his broad shoulders. "Shh, shh, it's alright, Usa. I'm here. I won't let anyone hurt you. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you, love. I was just so scared when I saw him holding you and your fear. Then I couldn't even hit him, since I wanted to get you out of there first. Shh, shh, it's okay, Usa. Cry it out. I'm here. I have you." She just clung to him and sobbed. Even if it had been less than a half minute, the encounter had still terrified her. She let him sooth her, his words and hands pushing the fear away.
Even when she wasn't crying anymore, she didn't let go. Neither did he. Finally, still held tight to his chest, she spoke. "Thank you."
She wondered if the slight pressure on the top of her head was him kissing her crown, or just lying his head on it. "It's fine. You being safe is all the thanks I need."
She blushed lightly in pleasure. Then she decided to take Motoki's advice. "I'm sorry."
Only after she said it did she realize that she should have specified. His comment proved her supposition that he had no idea of what she was talking about. "For what?"
She buried her head further in the crook of his neck before clarifying. "For my actions at twelve and fourteen. They were wildly inappropriate, and I'm sorry I put you in a position where you had to deal with that."
"You were forgiven a long time ago for both, you know." he replied, not letting anything leak in his words.
She shrugged slightly, then adjusted her hold tighter. "Still, I felt the need to say it."
She felt him take a big breath of air before diving into the questions he had. "Did you mean what you said, or was it just normal youngster crushes?"
He could feel her blush in the heat on his neck. "Meant it." Squeaked out from against his chest. "You?"
"Yes." He replied. "I meant what I said." He felt her stiffen and begin to pull out of his arms. He only let her go far enough that he could use one hand to make her look at him. The other one still held her close. His first glimpse of her eyes almost broke his heart, so much pain was in them.
She thinks you're rejecting her! He realized with a start. However, he knew what he had to say next. Her clinging to him earlier had given him the courage.
"I did." he said, earnestly, looking right at her, despite her attempts to turn her chin. "I don't think you knew, then, what you were offering to a four year older me. Did you?"
She shook her head, as much as she could with his hand still holding her chin.
"And I'm still not a pedophile, you understand? I will never do something like that with a child, as grown up as they may think they are." She blushed, but didn't speak. Finally he let his grin slide onto his face. "But you, Usako, are not a child anymore. You're eighteen."
He wasn't sure if the startlement in her gaze was from the name or the recognition of the number. He decided to give her another hint. "Eighteen makes you an adult, able to do whatever you want. Within reason, of course."
She still didn't seem to understand what he was saying, so he decided to spell it out for her. "Usako, I love you. You told me a couple of times that you'd always love me. If that's true, may I kiss you now?"
She never did say yes, but Mamoru was perfectly content with her leaning forward to press her lips to his. It was answer enough by itself.
Merry Christmas once again to everyone out there! And a Very Happy New Year as well! I hope everyone enjoyed their break as much as me. I got to go home and visit my family, which is always interesting. For example:
(On Boxing Day) Me:You were sitting on the other end of the table. Was conversation there as... completely innappropriate for the dinner table, let alone Christmas, as it was on our end?
Sister: I was sitting with so-and-so, so-and-so, and so-and-so. YEAH!
Oh, and I am working on Puppy Love. It's just that the characters have mutineed and wanted fluffy stories. Then my computer joined in the general strike. I'll be back with it soon, promise.