"Hey, losers! Lookie what I got."
He waved the shen gong wu in their faces. Their sorry, shiny, terrified and tiny faces. There was a collective gasp.
"Jack Spicer! Return that shen gong wu at once!"
"No can do Omi." He screamed, followed with maniacal laughter.
He dropped the shen gong wu. It slipped from his slimy fingers and fell at his grimy feet. Clay moved.
"Jack, you FOOL," his partner screamed, louder than Jack ever had or ever could.
Jack bent over, Clay looked up.
"Jack Spicer, I challenge you to a xiaolin showdown."
The last name was never overkill. Strange.
"Alright Clay, my shroud of shadows against your serpent's tail."
Clay nodded and his hat fell forward.
"You're on."
The landscape grew, separating, pulling itself from the earth. The mountains became taller. The clouds drifted over them as if they were merely just mist. Jack grinned.
"First one to fall off the mountain loses."
Clay agreed.
"Gong yi tan pai!"
"Shroud of shadows!" Jack shouted, wiping his shen gong wu over himself. His laughter echoed and Clay looked around, unsure and confused. He growled.
"Jack Spicer."
"Clay, you're such a, a- oof-"
"Ha, I got cha now Jack Spicer," Clay smiled. He held Jack to the ground, the snow, the dirt. The shroud of shadows only revealed his face.
"Jack, I swear…"
"Ohh, come on now Clay." He pleaded, begged. He had a bloody nose. "Think of my family. I have a brother! He's eight months old and he smiles a lot."
Clay stepped back. Never in all his days had it occurred to him that somebody might actually care about Jack Spicer. Somebody might actually need him.
"SUCKER!" Jack kicked and ran once around the mountain top, giggling.
"Why you lowdown snake in the grass! I outta whip you like a mule in the middle of Je-ly."
He froze. "What is that supposed to mean? Somebody needs to sign you up for English classes."
Jack twittered and Clay tackled him for the second time. The dry blood remained.
"Come on now Clay, one of us has to lose sometime…"
"… Clay?"
"…Clay."
"…Clay! Get the off of me! What are you! A, a-"
Clay shook his head. "Jack, you know I ain't queer."
"Me neither."
They embraced passionately and all was well.
xxx
Looks like somebody is goin BROKEBACK.
Xiaolin Showdown and its characters are not mine. Yee-haw.