A/N: my first OliJohnny…it's for a friend…haha. I've been visiting this pairing and it's been blank for ages…or my internet has a defect. Here ya go!
The Bagpipe
One-shot
Wails, screeches and moans of seemingly utter agony plagued the inhabitants of the Jurgen home. It was as if hell itself resonated within the walls of its many rooms. Boris singing in the effin' shower would've sounded better than this…
"JUANITO!" Robert bellowed from the large living room, making his voice heard three floors up to where Johnny was staying. "QUIT WITH BAGPIPE!"
"NO CAN DO RALPHAEL!" Johnny bellowed back. "THE RIVERDANCING FESTIVAL'S IN TWO WEEKS! PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT!"
…and the whiny playing resumed once more.
Robert sighed and reburied himself in his newspaper. Enrique, who was net surfing also in the living room, rolled his eyes. "His perfect ain't exactly nice-sounding…" he muttered.
Oliver, who was in the kitchen preparing dinner, slowly put the ladle in the pot with a shaking hand and steadied himself on the kitchen counter.
Merde alors! …make it stop…he thought desperately as Johnny hit a screechy note. It's driving me crazy…
He continued dicing carrots while the sauce boiled; the thing ended up looking horribly mutilated due to his annoyance.
Look…it isn't Johnny's fault. There's something stuck in his pipe, okay? Stop stressing yourself…
Oliver plopped the carrots in the pot so fercociously that he got a good deal down his apron.
A stinkin' bastard stuck something up the effin' pipe to drive me crazy…to divert my attention from Johnny…
The French sighed as he thought about the sole object of his desires. It provided him a bit of consolation that there was a flaw in the bagpipe and not his crush. After that he proceeded to cook mush more smoothly.
Stupid bagpipe…
In the living room, Robert and Enrique were painstakingly putting up with the nooise when a note exceeded the Richter Scale and both of them jumped. Over a the kitchen, there was a crash.
"OLIVER!" Robert called. "Did the glass break by itself or did you break it?"
"What if it broke in my hand even though I didn't exert much pressure?" he called. "Sup's about done…call the Maestro will you?"
"OI! JOHNNY!" Enrique yelled to the Scott, shutting down the computer. "CHOW TIME!"
Oliver rolled his eyes as the three dashed in the kitchen like schoolboys.
"What's this?" Johnny asked innocently, meeting Oliver's eyes, making the French blush slightly.
"Menudo…" he mumbled. "You wouldn't know it…it's an Asian dish…I…"
"Damn! This is good!"
Oliver should go to Asia more often…
--
The green-haired French boy finished eating early and excused himself, wanting to chat with a friend over at the laptop in his room. The hall was oddly quiet, now that Johnny had stopped practicing and Oliver noticed that his room was open. He took a peek…
The lights were off, yet he saw it clearly, lying innocently on the bed.
The bagpipe…
Oliver checked the vicinity and found that none were in it and crept inside.
He stared long and hard at the instrument, weighing his options, wanting to seize this opportunity.
And with the vindictive pleasure of a woman breaking her enemy's stilettos of her enemy, he deliciously broke the pipes from the checkered bag, then broke it twice and twice more…
Oliver backed up…panting a bit, admiring his handiwork. Broken pipes and a ripped bag.
Then he smiled an evil smile and left the room leaving the crime to be discovered by an unsuspecting Johnny.
A FEW HOURS LATER
"WHO BROKE MY BAGPIPE!"
THE NEXT MORNING
Robert entered the kitchen making Oliver and Enrique look up halfway through eating their breakfast.
"Johnny won't talk to us because we won't say who broke his bagpipe…" he sat down and quietly ate the plate of pancakes pushed before him.
"Hn…you can't say you aren't thankful…his playing sucks…" Enrique said lightly and continued eating.
Oliver put down his mug of tea a bit harder than he intended catching the other two's attention.
"It's not his playing really…it's the bagpipe…" he countered. Robert raised an eyebrow. "Well whoever broke it…I wish I thought of the idea first…"
"…Could've broken it myself…" Enrique mumbled, mouth full of pancake. "…stopped his playing…"
"So…you didn't break it?" Robert asked. The blonde shook his head.
There was a silence before they both got the message and slowly and suspiciously turned to look at the oddly quiet French boy.
Oliver sighed in defeat and stood up to clear his plate. "I'm going to talk to him…" he said and left.
--
Oliver quietly knocked on the half-open door of Johnny's room. He could just see the Scott morosely trying to fix his bagpipe.
"Johnny?"
"I'm not talking to you…"
He sighed at the fact that the Scott just did and went in anyway.
"Look…Johnny, I'm sorry…' he addressed the back turned to him. "It's just that your playing…I know it's nice. I've heard you before. It's…I just figured that there was something stuck in your pipe…I was concerned." He lied. "I went to see what the problem was?" he reasoned hopefully. The Scott was stiff as ever…
Oliver's breath was hitched in his throat. He didn't need this kind of treatment now. "Okay fine…your playing sucked…but I didn't want to tell you anything…I didn't want to hurt your feelings…I didn't want to hurt you…." He ended softly.
The French boy looked up at the head half-turned in order to listen and shifted quietly as Johnny fully turned around to face him. He was still grumpy-looking, holding his broken bagpipe.
"Johnny…sorry…"
Sure enough, you could imagine his surprise when the other caught him in a liplock…
"Gotcha!" Johnny exclaimed when he pulled away and stood up. "You didn't break it…you detached it…I can put it back?" he demonstrated. "See?" he added with a wide grin and went down to breakfast.
Oliver just sat on the bed, stunned by the turn of events, not believing that Johnny's lips had actually been on his.
--
"How did it go?" Robert and Enrique eagerly asked as a flushed Johnny entered the kitchen.
"Worked like a charm…" he said winking and started eating.
The Italian and German exchanged looks of glee, seeing as the first half of their plan to bring the two together worked. "And now for the second half…" Robert sighed as they watched Johnny eat.
Enrique looked at him. "Won't work…" he told his lover. "You don't know how Oliver would react."
Robert shrugged as both of them stood to leave. "We'll see…"
--
Johnny anxiously waited in the kitchen, busying himself with washing plates.
"So…you aren't mad?" asked a voice which made Johnny jump for two reasons. One, it was Oliver and two…why one earth would he say that when both of them knew very well what happened a couple of minutes ago.
He looked at him incredulously. "No…I'm not mad…"
Oliver smiled. "Good…" and he returned the favor Johnny paid him a while ago.
IN THE LIVING ROOM
"I won the bet. I won the bet." Robert was singing rather off key to a very put out Enrique.
"Robert…" he said whinyliy "It's only…100 euros?" He smiled at his lover's antics. "You've got more than a hundred euros…"
"I won the bet! I WON THE BET!"
"SHYADDAPP!" he yelled when the older teen started dancing.
END
A/N: yeah! New pairing! It just came up while I was typing…kaiXromero! WOOHOO!