Disclaimer: No!
Author's Note: Reposted to fix an error! Anyway, just a bit of randomness with two of our favorite Marauders. This is craziness butI think it turned out okay. Not badfic worthy at least. This may hint at a pairing or two (try and figure out which - it amuses me) but it isn't meant to be romantic.
Ideas
"Okay Moony, I've been thinking about those ideas you mentioned," Sirius paused to reach out and poke Remus in the arm.
Remus looked up from his book and glared at him. The scene was the same as it always was. The common room on a Saturday. Remus was pretending to read and Sirius was acting like a five year old. It was the usual.
"You know. The ones about the Slytherins," Sirius paused again and added as a very reluctant afterthought, "and Snivellus."
"Severus," Remus corrected.
Sirius scowled at him and Remus pretended not to notice. He idly turned the page of his book and waited for Sirius to continue.
"Stop doing that," he said in an annoyed voice. Remus continued to ignore him though a slight smile formed on his lips.
"You were saying?" he offered in what would have been an apologetic tone if it wasn't so mocking.
Sirius gave him one last glare, just for good measure. "I've come to the conclusion that you, Remus John Lupin, have a girlfriend!"
As soon as Sirius said this Remus knew that this wasn't going to be a normal Saturday. It would be the type of Saturday where he would end up wishing the Hat had sorted him into Ravenclaw like it had been contemplating.
He carefully closed his book and raised his head to fix Sirius with a look that told him to explain or face the messy consequences. "What would give you that bright idea, Sirius Orion Black?"
"There is no possible way that any Gryffindor in their right mind would ever defend the Slytherins or say they weren't all evil, much less defend," Sirius grimaced visibly, "Snivellus, unless he had a Slytherin girlfriend," Sirius declared.
Remus had to give Padfoot some credit for this one. He had really thought it out. It showed just how brilliant he was that he could come up with such a completely wrong answer.
"Sirius I may not be as amazingly, brilliantly, ruggedly handsome as you keep telling everyone you are, but I assure you that even I would never, ever, not in a million years fall low enough to get a Slytherin girlfriend," Remus said in a no-nonsense type of voice.
Sirius sighed. "Well I could hope, couldn't I?"
"Are you saying you wanted me to be dating a Slytherin?" Remus asked in a dangerous voice.
"Of course not Moony, but that would mean that you didn't actually defend the Slytherins," he sighed, "Now there's nothing to say that you were being influenced or brainwashed or something by one of them."
Remus picked up his book again and opened it to some random page which conveniently blocked Sirius from his sight.
"You are an idiot Padfoot. Did I ever tell you that?" he asked from behind his book.
"Not in the last two hours," Sirius replied promptly.
Remus glared at him before turning back to his book. "Consider yourself told."