This is just something I thought of when being chased by bees after accidentally stumbling upon a very large (and mean) beehive. Thought it might be amusing.x
Serena Campbell pulled into her parking spot, making a mental note to ask the man on security to stop smoking right outside the entrance of the hospital. She reached across to the passenger's seat to grab her handbag, pausing slightly as she saw two maintenance men standing with their hands on their hips and staring up at an overgrown tree with a look of confusion. She sighed. It seemed no one was particularly in the mood for work. She headed over to them, trying to hide her annoyance.
"Is there a problem, gentlemen?" She asked. "Are two of you really necessary to trim a tree?"
One of the men turned to her. His name tag read 'David'. "Mr Hanssen asked us to cut it down."
"Okay," Serena nodded. "And you're both here because?"
"I was cutting down a branch when we noticed a beehive," the other man said, pointing to the tree.
Serena sighed. She wasn't really all that interested and she had a lot to do. She took a step closer until the large beehive came into view. "Ah," was all she could think of saying.
"I wouldn't go any further, if I were you. They're not too happy now that their hive is out in the open."
"How do we get it down?" She asked. She had never been particularly interested in entomology.
"We?" David said with a huff. "We're maintenance, not pest control."
Serena glared at him, not impressed by his sarcasm. "So perhaps you can call pest control."
"Ow!" The other man shouted, smacking his own arm. "It stung me."
Serena stared at him for a second before having to wave a bee away from her head.
David took a step towards the hive and then paused, picking up a long branch that he had cut down.
"I don't think that's such a good idea," Serena warned.
He ignored her and tried to push another branch out of the way in order to get a closer look. He took a step closer, leaning forward before realizing his mistake. "Uhm . . . run," he suddenly said.
"What?" Serena asked with a surprised tone.
"Run!" He shouted as the bees began to fly straight at him and attach themselves to his overall.
Serena didn't argue and started running to find cover. She noticed Hanssen pulling into his parking space and yanked the passenger door open, slamming it shut behind her.
Hanssen sat in silence for a few seconds, just observing her before finally speaking. "May I enquire as to the reason you are in my vehicle, Ms Campbell?"
"Bees," Serena said, staring him straight in the eye.
Hanssen raised an eyebrow. "I beg your pardon?"
"We have bees," she answered, motioning towards the few bees that had landed on Hanssen's windscreen. "Maintenance found their hive after you told them to cut the tree down," she said with an accusatory tone.
Hanssen had come to know and despise that tone. "Well, we'll have to deal with them."
"That's exactly what I've been trying to do," she snapped.
"Let's take a look."
"Excuse me?" Serena spat. "I'm not going back there. They know my scent and are after my blood."
Hanssen's lips twitched with amusement. "Well, I suppose you could stay here all day."
Serena raised an eyebrow. "Or alternatively, you could be a gentleman and drop me off at the hospital entrance."
Hanssen sighed.
Professor Elliot Hope stepped out with the cream filled chocolate doughnut he had just purchased, along with a cappuccino. He took in a deep breath of the summer filled air before biting contentedly into his doughnut. He was still chewing on it when Hanssen's vehicle pulled up to the entrance and Serena Campbell climbed out, looking slightly flustered. Elliot's eyes widened with surprise.
"Oh, it's not what it looks like," she snapped upon seeing the look on the older man's face.
Elliot nearly choked, trying to answer her.
Serena rolled her eyes, waiting for Hanssen to park his car and join her so that they could discuss what action to take.
Michael Spence stepped outside with a cup of coffee in his hand. Jonny Maconie and Jac Naylor were following him. "Easy there, professor," Michael chuckled, slapping the man on the back. "I don't feel like performing the Heimlich manoeuvre after last night's exploits."
"You can definitely drink me under the table," Jonny smiled.
"It's an art," Michael nodded with pride.
Jac rolled her eyes. "It's liver failure waiting to happen," she said sarcastically, eyeing Elliot's doughnut.
Elliot had recovered and quickly turned to Serena who was standing nearby, impatiently tapping her foot. "I didn't think anything of it," he said.
"You didn't think anything of what?" Michael asked curiously, looking from Elliot to Serena.
"Oh, uh," Elliot glanced nervously at the raised eyebrow on Serena's face. "Nothing."
Serena shot him one of her deathly sweet smiles; it was a smile everyone knew and feared.
"Good morning," Hanssen greeted the small group as he joined them.
"We need to decide what to do," Serena said.
"Do about what?" Michael sipped his coffee.
Serena turned to glare at him just as Antoine Malik came racing around the corner, shaking his leather jacket off and tossing it to the floor in panic. He jumped back from the inanimate object, bumping into Serena as he did, who in turn fell into Elliot. There was a loud gasp.
Serena pushed away from Elliot, looking down at the cream filled doughnut that was now crushed against her chest. The whole group fell silent as Serena took a deep breath.
Elliot's face was the image of horror. His hand twitched slightly, unsure of whether he should attempt to help her or not.
Exhaling slowly, Serena attempted to pull off most of the doughnut, tossing it angrily to the floor. The chocolate icing and cream had smeared all over her pink blouse.
Elliot very slowly handed her the napkin that had come with the doughnut and she snatched it from his hand, dabbing at the stain.
Jac exchanged an amused look with Jonny and they both tried to suppress the grins that were threatening to emerge.
Michael was openly laughing and Hanssen had averted his gaze to the floor, obviously trying to hide his amusement.
"Practicing new dance moves, Mr Malik?" Serena snapped sarcastically.
"There were bees," he answered with wide eyes. "They flew at me."
"Yes, they flew at me too," she replied. "However, I managed to control myself."
"Ah, yes, by climbing into the nearest vehicle you could find. The epitome of control," Hanssen said, ignoring the fierce look coming from Serena.
Malik gave her a sheepish look. Hanssen reached down and shook out his leather jacket, watching as a couple of bees flew out of it.
Jac watched in horror as they both flew up and then turned, charging at Serena who was now wearing the scent of a doughnut.
Serena swotted them away furiously as the rest of the team started cautiously making their way inside. "Right, that's it, someone get me the number of a pest control company," Serena snapped as she stepped inside. "I don't care who they are, I just want them now!"
Mo Effanga walked passed Jonny, cracking up as she noticed the cream filled chocolate doughnut that the staff of Darwin had bought to give to Ms Campbell later on in the day. She had been informed of the event at the entrance of the hospital and she had found it hilarious.
"She's going to kill us," Mo chuckled.
"Oh, I'm sure she'll see the humour," Jonny smiled back, glancing at the doughnut.
"I wouldn't count on it," Jac said as she stepped behind the computer. "I wouldn't be surprised she checks the CCTV footage to see who bought it."
Jonny gave Mo a concerned look. He hadn't thought of that.
Mo shook her head at the thought. "Nah. She has way too much on her plate."
"And her blouse," Jonny chuckled again.
"The beehive has been smoked out," Jac called to Elliot as he hung his stethoscope around his neck.
"Smoked?" He asked, surprised. "How peculiar. Times must be changing."
"How so?" Jonny asked.
"Well, when my late wife and I had a hive in the garden, we got a bee farmer to come out and remove the bees. He used a machine to vacuum the bees up and then searched for the queen bee. When he found her, he placed her and the hive into a wooden box and then placed the other bees that he had vacuumed up inside it as well. You see, as soon as they realized the queen bee was in the box, the rest of the bees moved in. He collected the box the following night. It was fascinating."
"Well these guys are just smoking them out. Campbell's had to close down half of the car park."
"Never a dull day."
Mo turned to leave when she heard a strange buzzing sound coming from the window of Elliot's office. She hesitantly moved towards the window, glancing out. She couldn't see anything. Slowly opening the window, she peered out, jumping slightly and nearly hitting her head up against the window as she noticed a large group of bees just below.
"Oh sh-" she slammed the window shut, rushing out of the office.
"Mo?" Jonny looked up at her. She was already out of breath.
"The bees!" She pointed. "They've settled on the building."
"What?" Jac snapped. "So much for pest control," she grabbed the phone and dialled down to Keller.
"Keller ward," Chantelle Lane answered cheerily.
"Is Her Highness there?"
Chantelle seemed confused. "I'm sorry?"
Jac rolled her eyes. "Yes, I forgot, Keller doesn't know the meaning of sarcasm. Serena. Is she there?"
"Uh, yes, let me just get her for you," Chantelle put the receiver down to one side and went over to Serena who had been forced to change into a red blouse that she had left in her office.
"Michael, that's not the point," Serena was arguing.
"Ms Campbell?" Chantelle interrupted. "Jac Naylor's on the phone for you," she said, clearly having recognized the other woman's voice over the phone.
Serena rolled her eyes before excusing herself and grabbing hold of the receiver. "Problem, Ms Naylor?"
"Not my problem, but it is yours," Jac answered.
"Care to explain?" Serena pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Your bees have moved to the fifth floor."
"Excuse me?"
"The bees are directly below my office. Which would mean that they're outside . . ." Jac smirked as she realized where they would be. "Oh this is classic."
Serena sighed heavily as she caught on to what Jac was thinking. "Thank you, Ms Naylor," she hung up, heading straight to the lift.
Hanssen was typing away at his report for the board of trustees when there was a knock at the door. He sighed before telling whoever it was to come in.
Serena stepped in, seeing the slightly amused look on Hanssen's face when he noticed she had changed her blouse.
"Ah, Ms Campbell. What can I do for you?"
"I was just checking to make sure . . ." Serena's eyes were scanning the windows. "That everything is going well."
Hanssen stared back at her, suspicious. "All is well. How is our little anthophila dilemma?"
Serena stared at him. "Our what now?"
"The bees," Hanssen clarified.
Serena shook her head slightly. It figured he would know the scientific name. She was sure he had googled it so that he could look intelligent. "Well, it's -" she was cut off as Hanssen raised his hand to silence her.
He cocked his head to the side, listening intently. "What is that?"
"What's what?" Serena lied. She too could hear the buzzing sound.
Hanssen observed her for a second before getting to his feet and moving passed her to the nearby window. He pulled the curtain aside and they both stared up at the bees that had assembled on his window. He turned to look at her.
"Ah, that," she nodded. "Yes, it appears they've moved from the tree to the window."
"I honestly hadn't noticed," he said drily.
Serena was about to say something when the phone started ringing and Hanssen moved to answer it, keeping his disapproving look on Serena. "Hanssen," he answered.
"Henrik, I'd like to know if we're actually doing anything about this bee situation," Ric Griffin's annoyed voice was on the other end of the phone.
"Mr Griffin, I was just discussing the matter with Ms Campbell."
"Well, perhaps we should get moving on an action plan. I was just stung by a bee in the operating theatre."
"Oh, I hope you're alright," Hanssen said in a slightly condescending manner.
"I'm fine. But had I been allergic, it could have been a disaster. The patient could have bled out on the table."
"We wouldn't want that," Hanssen said. "Not to worry, Mr Griffin, I'm sure Ms Campbell is on the case," he gently put the phone down. "Is there a reason as to why these little creatures have departed their abode in the tree and moved to my window?"
"Well, it appears the gentlemen who came to remove them, merely smoked them out."
"It didn't occur to them that the bees would simply move to another spot?"
"I guess not."
Hanssen kept watching her. "And, these gentlemen that you called," he took a seat again. "They were recommended to you?"
"Not exactly," she averted her gaze to the floor.
"Explain?"
"One of the receptionists had a friend," Serena rubbed the back of her neck.
"So they're not professionals then?"
"What do you think?" She snapped.
"I think we'll need to call a professional in."
Serena nodded, grateful that he hadn't entirely berated her.
Hanssen's secretary had managed to call a professional team in and both Serena and Hanssen had made their way to the car park when the team had arrived.
"So they just smoked them out?" One of the men asked in disbelief.
"That's correct," Hanssen answered.
"What idiot decided to call in people who have no training?"
Hanssen turned to look at Serena who just huffed in response, folding her arms across her chest indignantly. "That's beside the point really," she said. "Can you get rid of them?"
"Yeah, of course," the man smiled cheerfully.
Hanssen followed Serena to the entrance of the hospital. "Perhaps in the future we shouldn't be too hasty in these decisions."
Serena rolled her eyes.
Most of the senior staff had assembled outside to see what was going on.
"Whilst I realize that this is not an ordinary, everyday situation," she called out to them. Hanssen stood beside her. "This is still a fully functioning hospital, as far as I'm aware. I'm sure you all have work to do, so if we could all just head back to our respectable wards and get back to wor-" Serena flinched as a bee flew right at her face and she made a panicked whimpering sound as she dove behind Hanssen, who was quite perplexed by her reaction.
Jac swotted one off of her hoodie and Mo made a panicked dash back inside, carefully checking her back in the window for any bees.
"Okay, perhaps we should all head inside while the men work," Hanssen motioned for everyone to head back in as he glanced up at the bees who were starting to get anxious. "Ms Campbell," he turned back to her, only to find her rubbing the back of her neck.
"Ouch," she hissed.
Hanssen guided her by the arm back inside. "Those bees seem determined to get you," he said as he took a look at the sting mark.
"I hate bees," she snapped.
"Oh, hey, Rena," Michael called from across the canteen. "Look what Darwin got for you," he motioned to the chocolate doughnut on the table.
Serena gave him her trademark sarcastic smile.
"But they can't beat what Keller got," he held out a stuffed bumblebee toy. "Just for you."
Serena glanced back at Hanssen as he headed into the lift. She was certain he was chuckling.