There's a story that all operatives hear in training. Usually some girl tells it, since the leader of the ill-fated expedition in the story was a boy. Numbuh 86 is the storyteller of her era, and she takes relish in telling of the tragic end of the olden Sector X.
"It was back in 1942, one night by the light of the moon," she always starts, gesturing to moonbeams that stream through a window at Arctic base, "They were doing maneuvers in Louisiana, and searching for the base."
"Sector leader said that they should ford the Big Muddy," she says dramatically, and some little six-year-old asks what the Big Muddy is, and she'll tell them it can be anything that seems unreasonable, but in this case it's the Mississippi. "They were knee-deep in the Big Muddy and that cruddy idiot kept yellin' at them to push on."
Patton usually shoots her a skeptical look at this point. "Isn't this a song?"
"SHADDUP! As I was sayin', the second-in-command asks the leader if crossing the river is the best way to go. And the leader says that it is."
A little boy asks if the others didn't follow the leader, since the river didn't seem safe.
"Of course not! We follow orders no matter what! They was waist-deep in the Big Muddy and the stupid boy kept telling them to push on."
"Little did the leader know, the river was deeper than it was near the base. They were neck-deep in the Big Muddy and heard a horrible cry. Seconds later, the captain's helmet was all that floated by," Patton intones, smirking at the looks of shock and horror on the faces of the cadets. Fanny glares at him about this time, trying to signify that this is her story to tell.
"They were lucky to get out of the Big Muddy," Fanny says gravely, bowing her head.
"You guys know what the moral is?" Patton asks gently, and little kids will offer up various ideas.
Fanny shoots them all down, instantly; "The moral is never listen to any cruddy boys, that's what! It's not like there's anything else to get out of that!"
Little girls decide Fanny is a good storyteller, boys decide Fanny has good scary stories, all decide she's completely nuts. Patton just shakes his head and sighs. Typical Fanny.
And we just made it out
Of the Big Muddy
With the captain dead and gone.
AN: Oh hey! So, like, I was listening to Richard Shindell's cover of Big Muddy and thought this could serve as a kind of cautionary parable in the KND… with Fanny completely missing the moral of the story. By the way, I heartily recommend listening to that cover. Good song; I prefer his version to the original.