This is my first MLP fanfiction so don't be mean or I'll make y'all into cupcakes ) And there's no clopping scenes for a teeny bit so if you're only reading for that, skip ahead. The basic theme is rule 63 of the internet since there is way too many rule 34 ones. Hope you enjoy.
Celestia was, weirdly, bored. She had already trolled, like, nine-thousand ponies, but she needed something more... lusty, something fun to watch. An idea jumped up inside her head. Using her awesome magic horn, she wrote a letter to her faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.
Dear Twilight Sparkle,
For my epic Gala, I was wondering if you had a male partner. And if you don't, just tell me who you like. I have the power of everything. If no such stallion exists, I can make your dream one come true. The reason I'm being so nice is because I don't want my student to look like a loner/lesbian. Your friends are a little... meh. Especially that Rainbow one. Anyways, reply or I'll kill you!
Love Princess Celestia.
Almost instantly afterwards, a reply fluttered from a green puff of smoke.
Dear Princess Celestia
Sorry, I do not have a partner. And to be 100% honest, I don't really like anypony. Ponyville's stallions are a bit immature, Canterlot's are posh swots and Cloudsdale's are all overconfident perverts. My dream stallion would be kind and smart, and likes to read. Please do not create a pony for me as I strongly believe there is a colt for every filly, and mine is somewhere, even if he is a tramp from the Manehatten. And I am also scared about Rainbow. When I asked her what her ideal stallion would be like she pulled a derp face and said in a confused voice,
"Mares are meant to go with stallions?" I fear the worst. Anyways, thank you for the offer and please don't kill me before I get to the Gala.
Love Twilight Sparkle.
A better idea kicked the other one out of Celestia's ear and burrowed into her brain. She quickly wrote three letters (all at once seeing as she's Princess Celestia.)
Dear Luna
Do you still have Mirror Number 63? If you do please send it to Twilight Sparkle, The Library Tree, Ponyville. And if you don't, buy one and send it, or else you will be sent to the moon and the moon will be sent to the sun.
Thanks! Celestia xxx
Dear Prince Astromoner
Find your 6 boys and give them a dose of 63. My girls need a dose of loving from themselves and all. Just tell your boys they have to find love or some shit like that.
See you tonight ;) Celestia xxx
Dear Twilight Sparkle
I have sent a present to you that brings fate's stallion. Stand in front of it at 6.00pm on Sunday and press the ruby with your friends to discover all of your true loves! Bring them to the Gala, and in the meantime, get to know them REALLY well if you know what I'm saying!
Love Princess Celestia
Plan settled. The clock chimed for 6.30pm. Celestia sighed happily and turned to the window to gaze upon Equestria. Now what to do? Astro wouldn't come for another thirty-six minutes. What to do...
Clop! Clop-clop! Clop! All of Canterlot stared up at the palace in disgust. Upon hearing the sounds, her servants ran to her room to tell her to stop before there was an uproar. The doors burst open to reveal...
Celestia clopped at her laptop. She turned to her servants and asked politely, "I'm making a new game about my sister. Would you mind getting me a softer keyboard?"
MEANWHILE IN PONYVILLE
"I just don't see how some fancy shmancy mirror can bring the stallion of your dreams to y'all!" complained Applejack as the mares stood in front of Celestia's present. The clock read 5.45pm, and it was a Sunday. Everyone seemed pretty happy with the thought of meeting their other half, apart from Rainbow Dash and Applejack.
"Princess Celestia makes the sun rise every morning for crying out loud! I think she can pull this off. Magic is really amazing," argued Twilight. Applejack and the tomboy pegasus snorted in laughter.
"We wrap up winter all by ourselves every year without magic!" laughed Rainbow Dash. Applejack nodded. "For once I agree with the show-off. Ponyville was built on hard work!"
"Hard work or no hard work, I just hope I get a good-looking one." swooned Rarity, chipping into the conversation. "Wouldn't it be simply awful if you knew that this was the definite love of your life and they looked disgusting? How absaloutly dreadful!"
Pinkie Pie was pestering Fluttershy, since for no apparent reason she had decided Fluttershy knew what Pinkie's stallion would be like.
"Ooooh, Fluttershy! Do you think he has a moustache? I LOVE moustaches! I wish I had one but I can't cause I'm a girl, hahahaha!" babbled the pink pony, bouncing around the shy pegasus.
"Um... well I suppose girl goats have beards but we're ponies and all..." mused Fluttershy.
"What's the word for a girl goat? Goatess? Goatella? Goatee? Oh! That's what you call a goat's BEARD! I wonder if my stallion will have a goatee. Will he have a goatee Fluttershy? Or a moustache, AND a goatee!
Fluttershy didn't say anything.
Suddenly the clock bell struck six. Everybody dashed towards the mirror, even the non-believers.
"Well... here goes nothing," said Twilight nervously and she swung up on her hind legs, and pressed down on the ruby.
At first nothing happened. Rarity hung down her head and sighed. Even Rainbow Dash looked a little upset. Applejack was just about to say "I told you so", when the reflection suddenly rippled.
There were mixed cries of alarm and delight. Spike, who had been hoping Rarity would be his love, burrowed into Twilight's mane.
Suddenly, the rippling stopped, but their reflections still looked wonky, like a funhouse mirror. Pinkie Pie burst out laughing. "I look so silly!" she giggled, and spun around a couple of times, then stuck out her tongue and yelled out "BOO!"
"BOO!" came back another, deeper voice, and another pink head stuck out the mirror.
Everybody stared at the new face, and Fluttershy collapsed in a heap on the floor. Being the bravest, though still a teeny bit wary of zebras, Pinkie Pie greeted him.
"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! Hey, you look like me! Why are you pink too? I've never met a pink stallion before. Wait, you are a stallion right?* It would be rubbish if you weren't! Where's your butt? Are you like, a floating head?" she rambled, before being cut off by the floating pink head.
"My name's Cherry Cake and I think it's cause I'm in a mirror and I'm pink 'cause I'm awesome and you have now and of course I'm a stallion I never want to lose 'em** and aww thanks and my butt's behind me I'll pull it out and it would be really cool if I was a floating head but I'm not that makes me sad," chanted back the pink stallion.
Pinkie Pie was stunned for a minute. She'd never met anyone who could talk at her pace and reply!
"Cherry Cake's a really cool name and if you're a mirror where's my friends reflections?" she questioned.
"Oh. Right behind me. Come out, I think they're friendly!" Cherry Cake shouted over his shoulder, then turned back and grinned at the pink filly, who might have been blushing but nobody could actually tell since she was normally pink all the time.
The mirror rippled again and five more stallions slowly walked out.
"These," intoduced Cherry Cake, "are my friends. Meet Solar Beam, Pippin, Eclipse Light, Bramblehush, Tuxedo and me! What are your names?"
"Well," said Pinkie Pie, "this is Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack and Flutter-FLUTTERSHY GET UP!"
"Huh?" moaned the pegasus from the ground. She realised everybody was staring at her lying on the ground. "Oh, sorry. Just a little..." she explained, searching for the right word, "tired."
"And Pinkie Pie! Wait you already know that. Oh well, you know again even better," finished Pinkie.
She and Cherry Cake began chatting about everything and goatees. The other 10 looked at each other awkwardly. Strangely, it was Rarity who broke the ice.
She waltzed up to the best looking one in her opinion, a plum and silver stallion with dreamy blue eyes and... a fashionable suit for a cutie mark? This one was hers.
"My name is Rarity. What may I address you by, sir?" she smiled, flutttering those famous lashes.
"Tuxedo, or Sir, or Sir Tuxedo if you want to be polite," he replied. "Rarity. What a beautiful name," he added, remembering to be polite in return.
"Yes, Sir Tuxedo. It means precious."
"I was only joking m'lady."
The m'lady stung Spike like a wasp. How dare this, this... voodoo magic creation, steal his pet name for Rarity. His darling, gorgeous, generous, beautiful- WOW. His thoughts were cut off by an unfurling from the lilac stallion's mane.
A stunning female dragon, who was even lighter purple but had deeper green spikes, gazed at Spike with slanted breathtaking eyes. Forget Rarity, THIS was his woman.
He was just about to make his move when Twilight grabbed his shoulder.
"No canoodling until I'm sure they're safe. Rarity and Pinkie Pie are too sure of themselves, I need proof," she hissed in his ear. Spike deflated a little.
Applejack overheard Twilight's little comment. They seemed ok... but she too needed proof. With her head held high, she stalked towards the sandy colt with the strawberry blonde mane and tail, who was wearing a hat a bit like hers. She would have commented on this but her younger sister was wearing it to a fancy dress party.
"Hello sugarlump," greeted the colt. Applejack's unripe apple face melted. Sugarlump. What a sweet-talkin' royal gala! She ducked her head and looked up at him shyly.
"Who are you then? I'm Pippin," continued the stallion, mistaking her for shy.
"Applejack. Have you ever had the Apple Family Pie?" she asked. It was the closest thing she had to fame, even if the picture was of Granny Smith.
"Heck yeah!" he grinned. The two suddenly talking happily about the best time to pick apples and watching an apple tree grow and tons of boring hillybilly stuff that made Rainbow Dash want to puke. Why did they like these reflectors? Even Applejack had been won over. Well, Dashie was going to stop that.
"Listen here, pal!" she spat at a blue colt with a white tail and mane, and a cutie mark of a beam of sunlight. "I don't like stallions, so don't even try to chat me up!"
"Why would I want to?" came an equally irritated reply. "You filly pegasi think you can beat us at races and all, but you are as slow as a night in a storm!"
Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes. "What did you just say?"
"Slooooow as a night in a thunderstorm, retard,"
"Well how about we race and find out. What's your name anyway, scumbag? I need to know what to chant when you lose!"
"Solar Beam, fast as light. What about you? Slugsy? Tortoise?"
"Rainbow Dash! I'm so fast I invented rainbooms!"
"Well let's see you make some Rainbow Crash! Race you round Ponyville?"
"See you at the finish line Slower Beam!"
The pair zoomed out the window, one leaving a bright white light streak behind them, the other a gorgeous rainbow. Fluttershy ducked and yelped at the crack as both broke the sound barrier.
"Are you... ok?" asked a quiet voice.
Fluttershy looked up from behind her trembling hooves. Above her stood a very very pale yellow pegasus with raspberry jam coloured hair. Her reflection. Oh sugar.***
"...um... yes, I think so," she murmured in the voice ponies couldn't normally hear. However, for some strange reason, he didn't ask for her to repeat herself. He heard. He heard!
"That's... good. I was scared too," replied a voice as nervous as hers. Fluttershy sighed sadly.
"I've always been a coward. At flight school, I ran away one night because my flying test was the next day. I only told my one friend who just flew out the window. And you, now, I guess," she blushed. Her new friend gave her a small smile.
"It's ok. I was kicked out of flight school. Literally, kicked out, I landed in the woods and was so lost I hid in a cave. But the animals fostered me and in return I brought them berries from the high bushes. Then, I was found, brought to town and became a vet," he explained.
The two turned pale pink and looked at each other shyly.
"I'm sorry, I don't know your name. I was unconcious when you came out of the mirror..." she said shyly, "but I'm Fluttershy."
"Bramblehush."
Twilight looked at all her dopey friends. Four, not including her lovesick dragon, had fallen head over hooves, one going and insulting the stallion. They could be hopeless sometimes. Well, it was time to be brave.
She took a breath, and was going to walk right over to the stallion, when he approached her.
The mare froze. Was he going to attack her?
"Um... hello... Twinight, was it?" asked the lilac stallion.
"Twilight. Who sent you here? Was it your ruler?" she questioned.
"Yes, Prince Astromoner. He told us to tell you... Princess Celestia sent us," he explained. "We are... your one stallion out of the whole world," remembering what the Prince had told him.
"Oh," blushed Twilight.
"And I know your name is Twilight. I was just hoping you would ask me my name as your friends have done..." he cringed, not wanting to embarress her further. He failed.
"Oh!" Twilight blushed harder. She looked at her friends. Pinkie Pie and Rarity were flirting, Fluttershy and Applejack were getting there and Rainbow Dash was halfway across Ponyville racing hers. Maybe she should give it a go.
"So... excuse me a minute." Twilight dashed to the library. Fish... Flapping for Pegasi... Flounders?.. Flirting! She flicked it open and scanned the page.
"Compliment him a little and if he likes you he will compliment back. Talk about him, he will want to know about you. It's a see-saw type thing," she read aloud. Twilight spun around to give it a shot, when she noticed somebody else in the library. Oh shit. Had they heard her?
Then she realised it was her stallion. She didn't even know his bloody name. What was he reading anyway? She peeked from behind her shelf.
How to First Kiss.
Maybe the mirror had worked.
Next part will probrably still have no clop scenes. I will say if there is.