Authors Note:
So, hello! This is Ribbons speaking, and this is my first fanfic I'm posting here ^3^ HAPPY LATE AKUROKU DAY! I meant to post this yesterday, but I only got it on dA (username: ConfusedAndMoving… if you like my writing style, check out my poems/songs on there!) because my mom knows dA, but she doesn't know , and so I didn't want her over my shoulder all "WHAT IS THIS!" and then freak out, and I didn't have time because I went to my friend's birthday party. ANYWAY, please enjoy, review, all that stuff :3.
He was the air I breathed, it seemed nowadays. He was all I could breath. I had lived many years, and he seemed to be the only thing that ever really existed, the only tangible thing. He made me feel like I had a heart. And he was gone. I let him slip between my fingers. He didn't know how important he was to me. Was it my fault? I loved him so much. Now I'm swimming in memories of the nights we spent together.
And one, one I couldn't let go of, was the night we slept under the stars.
"Axel!" Roxas whispered. "Where are we going?" I was pulling him by the hand down the stairs leading up to the clock tower. An idea for a night had jumped into my head and I wasn't going to let it pass.
It was a balmy August day, and I had whispers of memories from Lea's past, nights spent under the stars in a forest by my parents childhood house. When I was a child, I would go with my mom or dad, but as I grew up, I'd spend them alone. But time after time, the blue magic retained in the air, and I couldn't help but imagine how mystical it would be to sleep under the stars with someone you love.
I looked back to Roxas and smiled. There was confusion in his eyes, so I pulled him into a tight hug, and whispered into his ear, "Roxas, we're going to a magic place. Trust me." I let go, and though there was still confusion buried in those sapphires, I felt his reassurance. I opened a corridor of darkness and slipped us through it, and into a field from Lea's childhood. At least, I assumed it was, I couldn't know. The grass was a deep green, smooth and soft, just long enough peacefully sway, short enough it wasn't like stalks of grains. There were trees at the outskirts, looming with sunset crimson laying on them. It was a beautiful time of day, and I turned to Roxas. The young boy was looking around in wonder, jaw dropped. His eyes looked like beautiful lakes, waves lapping as they absorbed the sunset atmosphere.
"Like it?" I asked with early satisfaction, smiling at the beautiful boy before me.
"Axel, it's beautiful." Roxas gasped. "Where'd this come from?"
"Memories of the heart." I said simply, as I took two steps towards him and wrapped my arms around his little waist, and he wrapped his around my neck, laying his head on my chest.
All felt right in the world at that very moment. There was some massive puzzle piece, and it clicked. Every beautiful bird sang, and every flower bloomed. No hearts were broken or missing. Every angel had its wings. I could've let that tender fire burn for hours.
I couldn't freeze time, and it lasted ages but was too short. Something stirred while nothing wanted to, and we both let go.
"How long will we stay here?" Roxas said, as a warm breeze washed through the grass and his blond hair.
"I was thinking we'd stay all night, and pop back in the castle just early enough that no one would be too suspicious." I said, running a hand through my own hair.
Roxas cocked his head to the side and widened his eyes, but I took his hand in mine and sat down cross-legged, pulling him down with me. Due to (I'm assuming) unfortunate gravity, however, he stumbled sitting down, and landed with his head in my lap. I laughed, and extended my legs, pulling him close, so that instead of being sexual and bizarre, our position was more cuddling.
He curled up in my arms, and I held him firmly, as if loosening my grip would expose him to the hazards of the world, and my arms were the safest place to be.
"Axel?" Roxas spoke, gently opening his eyes.
"Mmm?" I asked, looking down at the beautiful boy in my arms.
"Is this what it feels like to have a heart?"
I paused, trying to focus. Was it? "Yes."
"Do they feel like this all the time?"
"No. Only when they're as blissful as we are."
Roxas looked up to me, his eyes sketching through mine. "What does blissful mean?"
"At peace. Happy. Without a negative thought."
Roxas laid his head back down on my chest. "Yeah, I guess that's how I feel right now."
I shook my head ever so slightly. "You don't sound convinced." Roxas didn't reply, and I ran a hand through his hair, trying to provoke a response. "Come on, Roxy. You can't say you don't feel...loved right now."
Roxas blushed. "I do, really. It's just-" I pulled him up a little more and met his lips with mine, in delicate kisses, the usual kissing sparks a steady and strong ember.
"And now?" I said as I broke the kiss.
Roxas smiled weakly, his blush considerably darker now. "Yeah. I do."
"I hoped so. I wouldn't have you, looking so beautiful, in such a beautiful environment and not feeling loved." I said, sitting up and pulling him into my lap. I had my hands perched happily on his hips, and his were laying on my shoulders and winding behind my neck.
He opened his mouth to say something, but words were failing him as he searched my eyes for a response. I just chuckled.
And so we lounged, and talked, until the sun had set and the moon had rose. And throughout it all we just were wrapped in a state of bliss, and words were everything, and the staring in each other's eyes or holding one another were everything and then some.
It was late at night, maybe midnight or so. The sky was black, with purple watercolored over it, and little pokes of stars peeking through and shining down just for us. The moon was a normal crescent, not a heart. It was as though the true hearts weren't thumping in our chests, but in our love for one another.
"Axel?" Roxas whispered. I had thought he was asleep. He was curled next to me, one hand on my chest, the other hand in mine.
"Hm?" I replied, half asleep myself.
He sounded hesitant now, like he didn't wanna wake me up. "If we had hearts, could we still have nights like this?"
I could only smile. He was the most beautiful thing. "Of course. They might even be better."
"I can't imagine anything being greater than this. I want the rest of my life to be like this. Axel, don't ever let this change." His grip got tighter and he pulled in closer to me, "Don't ever leave me."
I ran a hand through his hair. "I won't, Roxas. I won't."
And we fell asleep like that, intoxicated in love.
Of course, the next morning, Roxas woke up warm in his bed, as I had carried him there while he was still sleeping in the early morning.
But what I can't live with, is that I let him leave me, himself. If I had stayed true to my promise, I would've never let him go. And I did. I need him back. I need him.