This fic is loosely based off a song, moreover the emotions portrayed in World So Cold, by 12 Stones. The pairing is Naruto x Shizune, so, I will ask you to solemnly enjoy. Don't forget the memories of those left behind…
Rain.
That was all one could hear, the constant pittering and pattering of endless tears falling from the sky- mourning the world, embracing it in an uncouth medley of melancholy. Even if the war had been won, at what cost did it come?
Love?
Peace?
Or was it the endless pile of bodies that continued to fall, even after the declaration of the defeat of their foe had rung across the nations. They thought that, without a doubt, the world would stop the endless cycles- one that caused the grief of children to stagger and rise. For the number orphaned kids coming through the packed-full buildings and offices of the superior beings of every village.
Shizune couldn't bear to be present. Sat upon a rotting tree trunk, uncaring of the somber chill that had come to frost along her cheeks. Tears had fallen as rapidly, as continuously as the scattered droplets of ice-cold water falling from the sky. Tsunade...
The only person she could have looked to for comfort, even Kakashi and several others had died. Might Guy, Sakura, Hinata, Neji, Kurenai, Asuma… too many had come to pay the price of the peace that had been instilled. So many fathers, mothers, aunts, uncles… not a single soul had been spared.
She wallowed, she cried, she screamed, she yelled until her vocal cords had become hoarse- blood having the courage to trickle between her blue-rimmed lips. She wasn't just expressing what she felt- she was expressing what it meant to truly feel pain, loss, the ever-growing emptiness that continued to gnaw at the recess of her daily thoughts.
"Shizune…" Clothed in black, tear stains were ever present- red, irritated marks were plastered on every solid inch of his face. He'd been crying as well, then again, wasn't the whole world?
"What do you want?!" She was harsh, her voice cracked and prickled with signs of dehydration. Who could've thought that someone such as herself could come to such a state… but…
"How long have you been crying, Shizune?" His voice, though it hadn't been loud, was audible enough for her to hear. She clutched at her kimono, standing and finding the strength to grasp him by the collar, slightly lifting him from his toes, enough to keep him pinned against another broken tree along the way…
"Don't, Naruto. Just don't."
"Don't what, Shizune?" Letting him down, she slapped him- something she wouldn't have thought of doing even if she had lost the world- she was lost, broken, her heart was scattered like the ashes of war along the wind… torn. Though when she's hit him, it felt as if a mountain had crashed against his heart, something so unfathomable, yet understandably intuitive into where her mind had wandered thus far.
"Don't leave me… I'm alone… scared…" He sighed, encompassing the smaller woman into his grasp, lifting her from the muddled, soil stricken grounds that continued to flow with rainwater. He looked down, and from her exhaustion, she had simply stilled, letting herself rest against his unsteady heartbeat.
Yet, he walked. He didn't know where he'd been going, what his destination was to be until he'd reached his own front door. Aimlessly, he walked to a nearby sofa, carefully setting her onto the cushioned furniture, brushing her wet bangs from her face. He'd simply placed a chaste kiss on her cheek, and he struggled to keep his breathing as he took in her form… such thoughts, he mused, should have been past him. Do I have the capacity to love once more?
He shook off the feeling, entering a bathroom nearby, down the hall. He simply grasped the small blade behind the counter, staring at its unhinged, rugged tip. The teeth, he mused, were the few things keeping him sane. He cut… and kept cutting… even if it was healed but a moment later- he ignored the conundrum of shouts behind the recess of the seal on his stomach. His newfound tenants cared… but he had lost all hope.
Every time he stared into the mirror… the only thing he could see was the reflection of the dead. Of his parents, of his sensei, even Jiraiya had managed to join the voices pounding beneath his skull. He was human, and a loss so great, the past fifteen years had been nothing short of hell. He cringed as a particularly harsh cut dragged its way along his skin, much deeper than he'd been used to. Such a small blade could cause temporary harm… but not a scar would be left behind. This pain…
Will it ever end?
Even then… he could never be sure of anything. He'd gone into the war confident, he'd gone in hopeful, but nothing could replicate the screams that continued to echo along his tracks of thought, centered around the thorn still stuck inside of his heart. Naruto couldn't reach that point, thinking that everything would turn out okay, that maybe it would have been possible to bring back the dead- but those thoughts were long gone, he knew that it was impossible to keep them in anything other than his heart.
Chuckling, he couldn't think of a time where he wasn't like this. I wonder… if I die, will it end? Will the suffering stop?
He grasped the small, dirtied kitchen knife in his hand, clutching it, shaking violently as it drew nearer to a bulging vein beneath his skin. It came closer and closer, enough to start drawing blood, and he plunged it into the small patch of healing cuts, softly crying as he immediately took it out, letting it clatter to the floor. Without a single thought, he crashed the same hand into the mirror, letting it web and crack as pieces fell to the floor, along with him.
He slumped. His back rested against the tiles of the wall, chilling his form through his soaked clothing. He mildly looked over, ignoring the grisly wound as it bled and bled, slowing till it simply disappeared as a simple part of his odd complexion of peach colored skin.
Sounds of running watter were heard, and he mulled on the kimono clad woman he'd just set down- why does she bother?
It would heal- it always did, without a scar left behind. But it didn't hide the scars plain as day, on his heart. His heart pounded, blood roaring behind his eardrums as he stared off into empty space. His blood lit with fire as she kneeled, hand poised to strike at him again. He'd simply caught it, bringing her close to his chest, burying his nose in her hair. He reveled in her presence, warmth spread where the cold had once seeped far, it would take so much time… could it ever be healed?
They both had nothing left to let out. Tears had long since been worn out- emptiness had done its job in taking over whatever remained. His hands trembled as a familiar spark was caught in him. He couldn't do anything more. He was tired, worn out, his mind was exhausted. He struggled to stand, even with the helping hand, having to catch the edge of the doorway as they made their way into the living room. They settled, haphazardly falling into the cushioned piece of furniture. When did I lose my clothes…
His mind didn't even register the fact they were both in their undergarments… alone… under the same blanket that continued to ward away the cool air that flowed from the nearby ventilation. He simply did what he did best… and lost himself into the sweet lull that sleep provided- a momentary break from the world, from himself, from his pain.
And not a word was spoken as they basked in one another's presence, unable to move so much as a limb, or utter a single syllable, because they understood each other. They understood what it meant, in all aspects, to experience loss. But in that same moment, they were found.
The reason why I wrote this as I did is because there will be a sequel to this. But, I also wanted to portray, in essence, what it feels like when you have nobody to talk to, nobody to run to until it hits you without your knowledge. How it feels to be trapped in a hopeless situation that you can't overcome by yourself. I know how that feels, and I hope that this can help someone, anyone at all realize that there are people there who can help, even if they too are lost. Don't lose hope, and live life to your absolute best, lest it become too late to do anything.