AN: So, I am rewriting every single episode of Buffy, with one slight change – Jenny Calendar (killed off in Passion, season 2 episode 17) will be in every single one. Don't like it, don't read it. That simple. If you do like it, I would also suggest that you start out by reading the first eight rewritten episodes, before you read this. This is the 9th episode rewritten for season one. In the summaries S#E# represents what season and episode the story takes place. It would be best if you went in order - I guarantee you will be lost unless you go episode by episode.

In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.

Backstage in the Sunnydale High School auditorium, a student named Emily was doing ballet stretching exercises.

A demon observed her from low on the floor. It breathed heavily. "I will be whole. I will be new."

Throughout the backstage area, a number of students were practicing a variety of acts. Among them were Lisa playing her tuba and Marc rehearsing his magic act. There was also Morgan and his dummy, Sid. He rubbed his temples for a moment and looked around.

Onstage, Cordelia was singing 'The Greatest Love of All' off key, "Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all. I decided long ago..."

Giles and Ms. Calendar sat in the audience, both clearly not wanting to be there.

"...Never to walk in anyone's shadow. If I fail, if I succeed, at least..."

"Thank you, Cordelia," Giles interrupted, ending their torture.

"That's going to be lovely," Ms. Calendar lied.

"But I didn't do the part with the sparklers!" Cordelia complained.

"Um, w-we'll, um... save that for the dress rehearsal." Giles was anxious to get rid of her.

"Uh, Lisa! Please!" Ms. Calendar called.

"Ughhh!" Cordelia wasn't pleased. She put the microphone back on its stand and left the stage as Lisa set up with her tuba.

As she began, Giles rubbed at his eyes. Ms. Calendar bent so her head rested on the back of the seat in front of her.

Buffy, Willow, and Xander came down the center aisle.

Buffy drew in a breath. "If it isn't the great producers!"

The students went into the seats to sit around the adults.

"Had to see this to believe it," Xander chipped in.

"Oh. You three," Giles greeted blandly.

"You two," Buffy replied.

Xander made an exaggerated sniffing nose. "Love's in the air!" He paused. "Or maybe it's lack of talent..."

Ms. Calendar sent him a glare. "You missed Cordelia."

"Somehow, I think I'll survive that."

"The school talent show. How ever did you two finagle such a primo assignment?" Buffy asked.

"Our new Führer, Mr. Snyder," Giles answered.

"I think they call 'em 'principals' now," Willow stated.

"Mm. He thought it would behoove me to have more contact with the students. I did try to explain that my vocational choice of librarian was a deliberate attempt to -" Giles drew in a breath. "Minimize said contact, but, uh, he would have none of it."

"And you?" Buffy asked Ms. Calendar.

"Sent to make sure he behaves."

"Giles, and Ms. Calendar, unto every generation is born one who must run the annual talentless show. You cannot escape your destiny."

"If you had any shred of decency, you would have participated, or at least, um, helped," Giles told her.

"What he said," Ms. Calendar added. "This is torture."

"Nah! I think I'll take on your traditional role... and watch!" Buffy replied.

"And mock!" Xander added.

"And laugh!" Willow added.

The students laughed. Ms. Calendar groaned.

"O-kay. I think maybe we better leave our lovebirds to this business they call a show," Buffy stated.

The three of them got up and started back up the aisle.

Principal Snyder was waiting there for them.

"Principal Snyder!" Buffy was surprised.

"So. We think school events are stupid, and we think authority figures are to be made fun of."

"No! No, we don't. W-unless you do."

"And we think our afternoon classes are optional. All three of you left campus yesterday."

"Yeah, but we were fighting a demon..."

"Fighting?" The 'demon' part flew right over his head.

"Not fighting."

"No, we, uh, left to avoid fighting," Xander chipped in.

"Real anti-social types." The man couldn't be pleased. "You need to integrate into this school, people." He crossed his arms. "I think I just found three eager new participants for the talent show."

"What?" Buffy cried.

"No!" Xander protested.

"Please?" Willow whimpered.

"I've been watching you three. Always getting into one scrape or another."

"Well, we're really, really sorry, but about the talent show, pleeease, you can't make us..." There was no way Buffy would be in the talent show. There was just no way.

Principal Snyder interrupted, "My predecessor, Mr. Flutie, may have gone in for all that touchy-feely relating nonsense, but he was eaten. You're in my world now. And Sunnydale has touched and felt for the last time." He started to push past them, heading for the stage.

"Can I just mention, that detention is a time-honored form of punishment?" Xander hinted.

Buffy nodded vigorously in agreement.

"I know the three of you will come up with a wonderful act for the school to watch. And mock. And laugh. At," Snyder replied. He continued down to the stage.

Xander couldn't believe it. He pointed up with both index fingers and sat down in a seat. "No!"

Buffy spaced out and moaned. She went back into Giles and Ms. Calendar's row, sat next them, and looked to them for sympathy. The adults have none to give, and instead tried to hold back smirks.

The tuba solo ended. Willow remained standing with a big frown on her face.

"Thank you!" Giles was grateful that the tuba wasn't as bad as Cordelia.

The next act set up. It was Morgan with his dummy, Sid.

"Ewww, dummy!" Buffy groaned.

Xander saw a mime and jumped in his seat. "Dyow! Mime!"

Willow sat behind Buffy. "I think dummies are cute. You don't?"

"Uuuhhh. They give me the wig. Ever since I was little."

"What happened?"

"I saw a dummy. It gave me the wig. There really wasn't a story there."

"Hi. I'm Morgan," Morgan announced onstage. He moved the dummy's head. "And I'm Sid!"

He was an awful ventriloquist, and Ms. Calendar winced. Buffy raised her eyebrows and stared in disbelief.

Morgan continued as Sid, "Hey Morgan, would you like to tell some jokes?" Then as himself, "Would I!" Sid, "As a matter of fact, it is! It's also a wood nose, and a wood mouth!"

Willow couldn't believe the act either. Morgan laughed nervously for Sid. Buffy looked at Giles. He took off his glasses.

"I didn't sleep at all last night," 'Sid' said.

"Alright, time out. Let's stop this before someone gets hurt." The act seemed to get better as Sid spoke to Morgan. "Kid, you are the worst. Even I can see your lips move."

Buffy started giggling. Giles looked up again and put his glasses back on, intrigued that there may be at least one good act.

"C'mon, Sid. You're spoiling my act. I worked on these jokes for weeks," Morgan replied.

"You call those jokes? My jockey shorts are made out of better material."

A few students had gathered at the edge of the stage to watch Morgan's act were laughing.

"And they're edible!"

More laughs from the students.

All the Scoobies seemed to be into it, then, too.

"There, you see?" Giles addressed the younger Scoobies. "I'm sure you three can come up with something...equally exciting."

Sid smiled.

In the girls' locker room, Emily was changing back into her regular clothes. She put her ballet outfit and shoes into her locker and closed the door. She heard a noise. "Is anybody there?" She walked to the end of the row of lockers and peeked around the corner. "Hello?" She walked around to the next row of lockers. No one was there. The demon exhaled as it watched her from low on the floor. "Hello?" Emily continued down the row toward the showers. The demon came up behind her. Emily turned and screamed.

"I will be flesh!"

After hours, Giles was just about to leave. He was walking down the school hallway when he bumped into Ms. Calendar. "Jenny," he greeted.

"Rupert."

A pause.

"So, no demon as of late, huh?" Ms. Calendar smiled.

"No, no demon. Just the talent show."

"Ugh!" Ms. Calendar groaned. "Don't remind me!"

"B-Because of the demon shortage…I was, uh…wondering…"

Ms. Calendar looked at him expectantly.

"I was wondering i-if…"

"If I'm available for extra curricular activities void of the topics of school and the supernatural?"

Giles sighed in relief. "Precisely."

"I'm game."

The 'extra curricular activity' consisted of a walk through the local park.

I'm not going to get another chance, Ms. Calendar thought. I'm not going to get another chance to get this out in the open.

A fraction of a second after Ms. Calendar thought that, their hands brushed.

The two shared a look that seemed to make time stand still.

Suddenly, Giles' eyes widened. "Jenny, look –"

Ms. Calendar pivoted around in time for a vampire to shove her to the ground, slashing her shoulder in the process.

Giles thrust a cross into the demon's face.

The vampire cowered and scampered off.

Giles knelt next to Jenny and briefly examined her wound. "Jenny…" He helped her up. "I'm so sorry."

There wasn't much time for reaction, because Ms. Calendar suddenly jumped onto him, their lips locking in a fierce kiss.