Yeah, yeah, the title sucks, I know! But I'm writing this in a rush, and there's not a lot of point, so it's the best I can come up with. Sorry! This is basically just some fluff to celebrate the birthday of Simon Pegg, the man who gave us Buck the Weasel! :) And, just in case you were wondering, I was going to do a Valentines thing but I had no ideas. Seriously, even less than I had for this when I wrote it. And that's saying something!
Disclaimer: I do not own Ice Age!
Buck's POV
"Woo-hoo!" I cheer, as I swing through the air on a vine. What better way to celebrate my birthday than being chased by a giant Baryonyx? Rudy roars fiercely and swipes at me with his claws, but I know he's just messing. He wouldn't actually kill me, just injure me severly... at least, I think.
"Woah, near miss there Rudy!" I call to him, leaping from one vine to another "But you'll never catch me!"
I weave through the trees, and eventually manage to lose Rudy. I know he'll find me again soon, but hey, a break is a break, right? I hurry home, as my pinapple wife is no doubt wondering where I am. I'd call her, but I can't find a public rock, and I can't jsut steal someone else's. That would be rude, and illegal, of course.
I burst through the door of my tree-house, and I see my loving, loyal wife waiting for me. She's still in her bamboo chair, but that's reassuring, because it means that nothing has happened.
"Hello honey," I say cheerily "Don't worry, Rudy shouldn't be bothering us for a while. Want me to make you some breakfast?"
I wait for an answer, and eventually take her silence as a no. I shrug. "Okay then, more for me."
I prepare myself a nice breakfast of berries and cooked roots, because I don't feel like catching anything, and Rudy could be anywhere, so it;s best to stay inside for now. After finishing my meal, I lean out of the window to see if any danger is nearby. I may seem paranoid, but you never really know what's gonna happen around here.
Suddenly, a chunk of ice drops down from the sky and shatters against the ground, accompanied by a shrill scream. See, I told you anything could happen.
"Stay here, sweetie," I tell my wife "I'll go see what that was."
I clamber carefully out of the window, and scamper down the tree trunk. Once I reach the smashed pieces of ice, I search for any bodies, blood, or anything else that could indicate that an animal fell down with the ice. I see nothing, but I do hear voices... and not the usual ones.
"-and then the ground just started cracking and breaking and-"
"Shira! Calm down!" I hear my old friend, Diego, say "You didn't fall, so it doesn't matter, does it?"
"Well, yes, I think it does!"
"Why?"
"Because if the ground breaks that easily then it might break again and someone could fall down and get hurt!" this 'Shira' whines. Jeez, she sounds like a handful. Or, pawful, I guess. Whichever seems more appropriate. Oh well, I'm still glad Diego found a mate, and if he loves her, she can't be that bad.
"HEY, MAMMALS!" I yell as loud as I can. Apparantly they heard me, because they both look down the hole. I wave my arms around and jump up and down, to get their attention. "DOWN HERE!"
"What is that?" asks Shira, pulling a face. Well gee, no offense taken.
"He is a weasel, Shira. And he's an old friend of the herd," Diego explains to her.
"THANKS, TIGER!" Ow, my throat hurts from all that yelling! I break down in a coughing fit, but jump back to my feet moments later, completely alright. I wonder whether those two actually realise how hard it is for me to hear them...
"YOUR WELCOME, BUCK!" Diego shouts back. Huh, I guess he realised. Shira rubs her ears.
"Ow!" she complains "That hurt! Why'd you yell so loud?"
Wow, someone's got attitude.
"COZ HE WANTED ME TO HEAR HIM, MISSY!" I shout as loud as I can, part of me hoping I offend her a little. She mutters something, then shakes her head arrogantly, making the two hoops in her ear click together. I obviously can't hear this, but I see them bouncing off one another. Man, that's gotta hurt...
Diego whispers something in her ear, and she shakes her head again, this time just being stubborn. He's obviously told her to apologise to me, and clearly she's too proud and childish to admit that she's the one at fault.
"SORRY, BUCK," she calls into the hole. Huh, okay maybe not.
"NO PROBLEM!" I shriek back, even though it is kind of a problem. She must be Diego's mate, so I plan to tolerate her for the rest of this conversation, whether she improves or not. I hope for the former. Diego smiles and licks her on the cheek. Ew, they do know I can see them, don't they? I try my hardest not to go green, but I don't know if it's working or not. Shira keeps giving me funny looks, but she's been doing that this whole time. I don't get it, what did I ever do to offend her?
Diego holds his paw up to the side of his mouth and yells "IT'S JUST HER ATTITUDE, BUCK. SHE WAS RAISED ON A PIRATE SHIP."
Does he seriously think that because he holds his paw up she can't hear him?
"Do you seriously think that because you hold your paw up I can't hear you?" she snaps. Wow, maybe I can read minds... awesome!
"Bit of a fail there, Diego," says Sid. At least, I think that's what he said, I can't really hear him too good because, well, they're in the Ice Age and I'm in the dino world.
"Whatever, sloth!" he replies. Ugh, it's so hard to hear them! I wish they'd just speak up, for crying out loud!
"HEY GUYS!" I yell, trying to impersonate the way Rudy roars "COULD YA SPEAK UP A LITTLE?"
"OH, RIGHT. SORRY BUCK!" Diego roars back. Literally, I'm down here and I can tell he's roaring. I bet Manny's gonna come and tell him off now for yelling too loud.
"Diego! Stop yelling so loud!"
Huh, I guess I can read minds. Either that or I still know the herd incredibly well after who-knows-how-many years... either way, it means I'm amazing, so I don't care.
"HEY, MAMMOTH!" I shout, waving frantically "DOWN HERE! IT'S ME, BUCK!"
"Huh..." Manny notices me "Oh, HEY THERE BUCK!"
He waves at me with his trunk, and starts calling for Ellie and Peaches. Hmm, Peaches... ah right, his little daughter. I remember that kid, she was sweet. Wonder if she's still such an obedient little girl... probably not.
"Manny, what's the problem?" asks Ellie. Jeez, I've heard these guys scream and shout before, I know for a fact they can speak louder than this!
"SPEAK UP, MAMMALS!" I shout, somewhat angrily.
"BUCK!" exclaims Ellie "IT'S BEEN AGES! HOW ARE YOU?"
Ah, Ellie's a nice girl. "GOOD, THANKS. YOU?"
"FINE, EXCEPT FOR THE CONTINENTAL DRIFT OF COURSE."
Oh yeah... that sucked! Half the flaming dino world collapsed during that! I'd shout that up, but my throat hurts now.
"Dad? What's going on?"
I'm guessing that's Peaches. Either that or Diego and Little Miss Sunshine are closer than I thought... nah, it's Peaches. Seemingly ignoring Peaches, Shira speaks up again.
"Hey, if the Continental Drift had never happened you wouldn't of met me!"
Pretty sure that's not a devastating thought, Miss-Moody. I'm not gonna say that, but I really want to. I would if it was just me and her talking, but not when tiger's listening. That would just be mean of me. And it wouldn't be worth risking my friendship with him to tell that girl she needs to improve her attitude... would it? Nah, it wouldn't.
Suddenly, a mammoth teen comes into view, with something on her head... wow, that thing's smaller than I am! I'm not even sure what species it is from down here! I think it's a molehog... yeah, pretty sure it's a molehog.
"Peaches, there's someone I need you and Louis to meet," says Manny gently. Y'know, I understand that Manny's trying to talk to his daughter and not me, but, HEY! I'VE BEEN DOWN HERE FOR YEARS AND YOU JUST IGNORE ME?! Okay, okay, I know that's not being too fair but-
A roar echoes through the underground. And no, it wasn't me roaring. Man, I'm not that crazy! Alright Buck, focus on the task at hand: Rudy. Deal with him. I hurry up the nearest tree, planning to hide from him, or at least spring a hidden ambush of some kind. Of course all this is gonna be a lot harder without my trusty tooth-knife, but I'll make it anyway, I always do.
"Hey, where'd Buck-" begins Diego, but he gets interrupted. More ice falls down and Shira screams again. Wow, that chick's more of a hazard than Sid! 'Chick' being an expression of course, because I obviously know she's a sabre. I'm not an idiot, I'm just kind of a loon.
Just as Rudy's approaching my tree, the falling ice lands on his head, temporarily knocking him out. Huh, maybe that Shira isn't as clueless as I thought...
"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" she cries, fretting in case she hurt Rudy. Okay, scratch that stuff about her maybe not being clueless, she's battier than I am. Okay, maybe not that bad, but still kinda crazy. I climb as high as I can in the tree as Diego explains to her who Rudy is.
"HEY, THANKS FOR THAT!" I shout up, giving her the thumbs-up sign even though I don't think she can see.
"Uhm... NO PROBLEM?" she shouts back, seeming confused. Diego appears to have given up trying to explain everything that has happened.
"WOW, ARE YOU BUCK?" yells Peaches. When I nod, she adds "AWESOME! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO MEET YOU! HI!"
She waves with her trunk. Ha, just like her mother... wait, what did the molehog, whom I assume is Louis, just say? Man, that guy's quiet!
"SORRY MATE, DIDN'T HEAR YA THEN!" I inform him.
"OH, SORRY!" he exclaims "I SAID 'WOW, IT'S GREAT TO MEET YOU BUCK'!"
"OH RIGHT, THANKS MATE!" I reply, rubbing my throat. Jeez, all this shouting is hurting my throat really bad. Rudy starts to stir... crud. "HEY MAMMALS? AS MUCH AS I LOVE TALKING TO YOU AGAIN, I MIGHT HAVE TO YOU KNOW, GET OUTTA HERE BEFORE RUDY WAKES UP. MAYBE WE CAN TALK AGAIN SOMETIME?"
"OR YOU COULD COME AND VISIT US?" suggests Diego. Huh, how come I never thought of that?
"GREAT IDEA, TIGER!" I grin "I'LL HAVE TO WORK ON THAT! SEE YA SOON, GUYS!"
I wave to them, and they wave back, even Shira. Y'know, she may be kind of annoying, but I think I might be starting to like her a little... who knows, maybe she's better when you get to know her. Diego definitely seems to think so. Wow, what's my wife gonna say when I tell her all this? She'll never believe me...
Yes, I know this was short and suckish, but I didn't have a lot of time to write it and I've been busy trying (keyword: trying) to update everything over half term, so give me a break! I just wanted to do something for Buck's birthday, so here it is. Happy Birthday Simon Pegg!
Thanks for reading and please review! :D