He took everything
She still couldn't stay in hotels overnight, not without feeling absolutely awful. When she had to, absolutely HAD to she would not shower and when she went to the bathroom she would take her bag in with her.
Closing the bathroom door was like walking into a memory.
A terrible hotel stay had ended at least three relationships. They would want to comfort her and know what happened and she would refuse, and the dreams/nightmares always came then.
Every vacation would end early with a 'break' when she wanted to trust them she knew where they were.
Theoretically they were still waiting.
It had happened yet again and she was sitting in the lounge her phone in one hand and a far too early martini in the other.
"You really need to start driving in separate cars." Veronica told her plainly on the other end.
"They should just listen to me when I say I don't want to stay at a hotel." She sighed and drained her glass, "this one was a surprise anyway."
Veronica snorted, "surprise on him."
Another martini appeared in front of her as she placed hers down.
"So when can you pick me up?" She asks looking around for the reason for the new martini, she hadn't asked for another one in any way shape or form.
"Not until tomorrow... I'm so sorry Mackie."
She really did sound sorry and she had found the origin of the new drink, the bartender pointed to a blond man at a corner table.
"It's okay V, maybe I'll spend a night on the town, these ski towns have swinging nightlife's right?"
"That's what teen television tells me." She laughed lightly on the other end of the line as Mack took the glass and walked towards the blond man.
"Call me in the morning when your on your way."
"Will do. Try and have a good night Mac."
They said their goodbyes as she put her martini on the table and slid into the booth.
"My my Richard Casablancas isn't this a bit far from the surf for you?"
"My dear Cindy isn't this a bit too high end for you?" He returns with a smirk. She hasn't seen much of Dick since university and she hasn't really missed him...
She bats the comment away, "the last I heard about you, you were arrested for fornicating on a mardi gras float in New York."
His smirk pulls into a smile, "you always make sex sound like science Mac and besides I was young then."
"It was last year." She knows more about his recent activity then she wants to let on. She's still in contact with Logan after all and one of their favourite topics is what stupid thing Dick did this month.
"Yes well I heard you were practically married to your hippy boyfriend and yet here you are all alone." He leans towards her, his fingers steepled, "scare away another one?"
She can feel her cheeks get hot at the remark and he must know it hits too close to home because his smile falters and he leans back into the booth.
"I apparently have trust issues." She tells him draining her glass. She hits it hard against the table and Dick raises his arm to the staff.
A fresh faced girl appears at his side her brilliant smile, she is oddly happy to note, falls ever so slightly at the sight of her at Dick's table.
"I never want to see her glass empty again." He tells her sternly and the waitress nods sharply and removes the offending glass.
"Are you trying to get me drunk?" She asks, eyes narrowed.
"I don't like being alone in places like this." He tells her and she automatically knows he means hotels because his issue with hotels stems from hers.
She slides along the bench until she's at the back of the table sitting kitty corner to him.
She puts a hand on his suit, "you look very good." She tells him and runs a hand along the fabric, she loves that it brings color to Dick's face.
"I had a meeting." He tells her and the words sound so foreign in his voice that she leans in.
"What? I could have sworn you said you had a meeting."
"I did," he smiles at her, the kind of smug and all self satisfied that only Dick could ever really accomplish, "I own this place." There's a pride in his voice that is impossible to miss.
"So your celebrating? We should be celebrating." She looks down at her outfit, it's pretty sure but it's just a soft sweater and some dark jeans. Dick is in designer, probably tailored. She slides back out of the booth, "I'll be right back." She puts a hand on his shoulder before she leaves the lounge for her suite.
She's never really been entirely fond of Dick but he's grown on her a little as an almost friend over all these years and she can tell by looking at him that he's the same kind of broken she is and there's an odd comfort in that. Not to mention she's got time to kill, why not kill it with Dick.
In her room she pulls out a black cocktail dress, it's just a plain black thing but it's her favourite.
She pulls it on and switches into a pair of black heels and makes her way back to the lounge.
There's a shiny new martini on the table and Dick turns to look at her and she's pleased to see that his mouth drops ever so slightly at the sight of her.
"You clean up nice." He tells her and a hand goes out to help her into the booth next to him, she takes his hand and slides in next to him.
His hand is hot and it lingers around hers just a little too long and it quickens her heart.
It's her third martini and lord knows what number of scotch he's on by now but the gin and vermoth is warming her body.
"Since when do you drink scotch?" She asks picking up his tumbler and swirling the amber liquid around.
"What are you talking about I've always drank scotch."
She puts the glass to her mouth and takes a little bit into her mouth. It must be good stuff because it actually tastes woody and kinda delicious.
She smiles at him as he takes the tumbler from her, his fingers sliding along hers in a very purposeful manner, "you'll always be a beer and t-shirt guy to me."
His hand falls under the table and rests on her leg, he's looking at her with darkened eyes waiting to see if she'll move his hand.
It's probably the third martini and her fear of hotels talking but there's a strange comfort in his hot heavy hand.
His other hand moves to her hair, "I miss the color in your hair." He tells her wrapping the strands of hair around his fingers.
"I haven't died my hair in a long time..."
"I know." He knows exactly the moment when she stopped dying her hair. His hand is bunching up the soft material of her dress and her heart is pounding against her ribs she's a terrible mix of emotions right now and she just wants to drown in him. His fingers finally touch the skin of her leg and she watches a smile break across his face at the fact that she's not moving away.
They talk about Logan and Veronica and what they've been up to since the last time they saw each other when he graduated Hearst. He makes fun of her for being a computer doctor and she inquires about if he still just lives in hotels.
All the while his hand is slowly creeping up the inside of her thigh.
She knows she's had too many martini's when his fingers reach the band of her underpants and all she does is straighten out his collar.
"You want to get out of here?" He asks leaning down his lips touching her ear as he talks.
He somehow still smells like the ocean even up in this exclusive mountain resort town. He smells like sun and surf and scotch and it is all together too appealing.
"Yeah." A finger slides along the elastic of her underwear, tracing the fabric up her hip. She turns from him, downs the end of her fifth martini and twists her hips so that his hand slides off her hip.
"what is there to do in this town anyway?" She asks sliding out of the booth she loves the way Dick's smile falls when he realises they aren't just going up to his room to have sex.
She walks over to the bar intending to pay for her first drink but when the barman refuses her money she looks over at Dick who is pushing himself out of the booth.
"Were can we go dancing?" She asks the man as Dick starts over to her.
"There's a place over on third and Chester."
"Great." She thanks him and stuffs a ten spot in the tip jar before meeting Dick half way, "come on." She tells him linking arms and leading the way out of the hotel lounge.
"Where are we going?" He asks her laughing a little as she staggers a little in her heels and almost takes him out.
"Third and Chester."
"You're taking me to the Ivy?" He asks with a laugh in his throat.
Of course he knows this town, she would hope he'd have the foresight to check everything out before buying the hotel.
"We're going dancing." She tells him.
"I thought you didn't dance?"
"Sober Mac doesn't dance, five martini Mac is a dance machine."
His laugh is a rolling joyful thing, rich and wrapping around her. Much better then the hollow laugh she remembers from their Hearst years, "I'll remember that."
She doubts that he will, or at the very least she's getting more and more certain that she's not going to remember because her legs are thick and heavy with gin and the edges of her vision are getting smeared.
Everything is starting to look like a van gough painting.
The Ivy is easy to find, it's the only thing open on third by the looks of it. The music is pulsing out into the street and there's a line that Dick leads her right past.
He bumps fists with the guy at the door and she can feel a flush in her skin as the man looks her up and down and smiles at Dick.
The music is thumping and it electrify's Mac's blood which at this point she is sure must be almost all alcohol.
"Shots and dancing." She commands and let's go of his arm to wiggle through the crowd to the bar. The movement is an arms up hips moving to the bass and a bit of a jump in her step. she makes it to the bar and manages to catch the eye of a handsome bartender.
"What can I get you sweets?" He asks lounging against the bar so his arm is near hers.
She opens her mouth when a pair of hands land on the bar on either side of her. She looks up and can see that Dick has caged her in and when she looks back at the bartender he is no longer lounging against the bar close to her with a lazy smile.
"Dick? The usual?"
"Do you have a usual at every bar in the country Casablancas?" She asks with a laugh before turning back to bartender, "kamikaze's." She tells him with a strange kind of authority,"at least four." She tells him with an oddly bored tone.
The bartender goes about making them and she turns so her back is against the bar and her chest is up against Dick, "you come here often?"
She asks and then laughs when she realises that she's just used a line on Dick Casablancas.
He smiles down at her, "I don't like hotels." He tells her like that explains everything and to anyone else it wouldn't.
"For not liking hotels you sure have collected quite a few. How many is it now?"
He shrugs, "only five. Do what you know." He nods behind her and she knows that the shots are up. She twists in his arms slams two down like a champ and starts away from the bar.
"Pay the man Dick." She tells him and makes her way towards the surging dance floor.
The song changes and she's moving to the beat and it's all arms and hips and she's doing her best to dance off some of the martini's because if this night goes the way she thinks its going to go she'd like to remember at least some of it.
There are hands on her hips and she turns in them and Dick is looking down at her with a smirk and darkened eyes and if she doesn't wake up with Dick she'll be surprised.
They dance for what may be hours and she's feeling a lot less fuzzy and slurred.
Dick can't seem to take any more, he pulls her up to him and his mouth crashes down on hers and he tastes like scotch and kamikaze's and she's sure she must taste just as alcoholic but she doesn't care, her arms are around his neck and her fingers in his sunshine hair.
She pulls back from his and she's panting against his mouth, "bathroom or hotel."
"What?" He asks out of breath.
She grabs onto the front of his shirt and tries again, she pulls his head down and she shouts near his ear the bass pounding, "bathroom or hotel." She rubs up against him and he pulls away from her, eyes wide and grabs her hand and leads her away from the dancefloor and when she doesn't seem to be moving fast enough he stops and throws her over his shoulder and heads for the door.
He starts up the street towards the hotel and the snow is starting to come down and she knows she would be cold if her blood wasn't heated by the booze and the prospect of a nice hot rebound with Dick. He has a hand on her legs keeping her dress from exposing her underwear.
"I can walk Dick." She tells him laughing as they turn onto the street leading up to the hotel.
"Your too slow." He tells her and his voice is deep and rough with want and it rumbles through his chest and into her body and it strokes at the need growing in her too.
She grabs a hold of Dicks belt and is silent as he walks quickly towards his new purchase.
He let's her slide from his grip in the elevator slamming his fist into the penthouse button. She has her hands on the buttons of his shirt and he slams her against the side of the elevator and he has a hand running up her leg and the other wrapped in her hair. His mouth is on her neck and she can't help but let a moan escape her mouth as the elevator opens with a ding.
She's not exactly sure how she gets from the elevator to the bed but she has a sneaking suspicion that he may have carried her again.
She pulls the zipper of her dress down and pulls it over her head and throws it at him. With a laugh he catches it and tosses it behind him to land on a chair where his jacket and shirt now live.
"You still surf then." She tells him pushing herself up onto her knees so she can run her hands appreciatively up his chest. She can feel his muscles tighten under her touch. He pushes her back so she lands on the bed hard, and he is just looking down at her hungrily and she is suddenly very aware that her underwear doesn't match.
"Stop staring." She tells him as her hands go to cover up her mismatched underwear.
He climbs onto the bed pushing her legs apart with his knees and grabbing onto her hands and pulling them aside so she's spread out underneath him.
"I've waited a long time to see this..." He tells her and the way he's looking at her makes her think he's committing her to memory, and she hasn't felt bad about her body in years but she can't believe how hot his gaze is making her skin and how fast and hard her heart is pounding with just his eyes.
The room is silent for too long and she squirms under him, "and?"
"And?"
She shrugs her shoulders and looks down at herself.
"Oh!" Dick exclaims and there's a flush in his face that's wonderful, "you," he leans down to place a kiss on her collarbone, "certainly," her cleavage,"don't,"her stomach, "disappoint." He tells her his mouth barely lifting from her skin to place another kiss on her hip, right above her batman panties.
"Good." She tells him pulling him up her body, wrapping her legs around his hips and pulling him down against her. She can feel how hard he is as she presses him into her core. He moans against her mouth and it's a beautiful sound.
But the weight of him pressing down on her stomach and the grinding movements of his body down into hers and the fact that she's on her back and the room is not standing as still as it should be causes her stomach to lurch.
She pushes him off her and runs for where she hopes to god the bathroom is.
And so she's sitting on the cold floor of the impressive bathroom in her underpants her head over the toilet loosing everything she put in there today and possibly the day before as well.
Dick walks into the bathroom after a particularly violent batch of vomit. She looks up at him with tear rimmed eyes and watches as he grabs the face cloth and runs it through some water before twisting it and sitting down behind her.
"You okay there champ?" He asks quietly pulling back some of her hair from her face.
"I'm sorry." She tells him.
He laughs a little bit and the sound vibrates through her. She sighs as he puts the cloth to her forehead.
"I want to have sex with you and everything I just..." She surges towards the toliet again and grimaces as what she is sure are the last of her stomach contents come up.
Dick runs a hand down her back and the action is soothing, "shh we can try again later." He kisses her back as she comes up for air.
"I hate hotels." She tells him right before another wave of nausea hits her sending her lurching over the toilet. She's thankful for Dick's hands in her hair and the cold cloth at the base of her neck as her stomach convulses and tears drip down her face at the exertion.
She pulls back again and flushes before she rests her head on the seat. Dick's long legs cage her in but there's a comfort in being surrounded by him.
"This is the first time I've been in a hotel bathroom since..." She looks back at him hoping she doesn't have to finish.
He nods.
"I promise I won't take your clothes." He tells her quietly. His eyes not quiet meeting hers. She let's herself fall backwards onto his chest and his arms wrap loosely around her.
"I think he's the only guy I've ever really loved..." She whispers into the quiet.
"He loved you too." He tells her and no matter how many times she tells herself or therapists his words ring true in the core of her. In the place where she keeps her Cassidy, far away from the logical part of her.
"He loved you too." She tells him taking one of his hands in hers and lacing her fingers with his. He kisses the top of her head and squeezes her fingers.
The last thing she remembers is the soft rhythmic thumps of his heart against her.