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America x Canada
"It's indecent!"
.
.
.
Yeah, yeah – he had heard it all before and had never actually taken the advice, so why did England even keep trying to bother?
"It's not like we have to follow every single human law out there, Iggy," America grinned as England's massive brows furrowed deeply, "C'mon, there, dude! You should know better than anyone since you're so damn old and stuff!"
"We may not be human, but we have to appear human," England retorted back, giving Canada a slightly disappointed glance, to which he shrunk back at, "You drag around poor Matthew introducing him to everyone you meet as your brother and then snog him in front of those very people a minute later? What must they think?"
America shrugged, not too concerned with the deal, "They think we're pretty damn kinky?" He snickered at the expression on England's face, "Who cares what they think?"
England spluttered, "Appearance is everything these days!" He gathered himself together enough to answer behind grit teeth, "I raised you both better than this, didn't I?! Incest is a taboo!"
"Haven't you ever looked at a map?" America slung an arm around Canada's shoulders, pulling him closer to his side, "Whatever way you look at it, it always looks like we're fucking each other, whether I'm doing Mattie from behind or he's on top of me."
"You vulgar git!"... "A-Alfred!"
"What?" America blinked, not understanding their reactions. They lived in the twenty-first century, didn't they? "You can't say you've never banged any of your bros? Especially since you seemed to always fuck them over in the past." He raised a brow at England's mortified face.
"Most certainly not!" England's brow twitched before he let out a forced exhale.
"Oh, yeah – cuz you're too busy sexing up your worst enemy, the Frenchie!" America laughed loudly at the look of rage on England's face, which had gone a bright angry red.
"Alfred," Canada sighed and shook his head before turning back to England, "Arthur, I'm happy you're concerned for us," He smiled gently, trying to calm their former colonizer down, "B-but I can't imagine myself with anyone else other than Alfred."
America grinned and snuggled into his neck, kissing the sensitive skin much to his embarrassment, "Aww, Mattie ~ I love you too!"
England ran a hand through his unruly blond hair, "Is it still necessary to tell every human you meet that Matthew is your brother?" He certainly didn't like the smirk that spread across America's face.
"Hell yeah I do, cuz incest is wincest!"