I was challenged by some writer, so I decided to do something about it. So, flamers can't write, eh? Well, I guess you didn't know we were good at PARODIES! TAKE THAT!
Warren Peace hated girls.
He despised each and everyone one them. All they did was talk about nonsense and complain about broken nails.
Even Layla, the stupid hippie he failed to hook up with at that dance, was annoying as hell. All she cared about was saving the environment, protecting the animals, and trying to stop the demolishment of the damn rain forests south of the Equator. The girl was pretty - hence why Mr. Hothead wanted to hook up with her - but she never shut her mouth! It unnerved the poor teenager to his fiery limits.
Magenta, now she was another story. The short pigheaded girl complained about stereotypes. Nonstop. Maybe if she stopped dressing like a poser, then she would have friends and nothing to talk about. Warren yearned to tell her that, but he did have a bit of a heart. Plus, the girl packed a mean punch. Waste of time trying to get something through her thick head. Stubborn as a mule she was. Warren thought it would be pure irony if she could - indeed - turn into a mule.
Then he had the right to call a girl a jackass!
But he then remembered that donkeys are called jackasses, and he couldn't believe his own stupidity.
The last main squeeze in his life - the thought literally made him hurl - was little Charlotte Spade. Her demeanor was cold as ice, just like her power. Freeze Girl was a slut, and he enjoyed every thought of bedding her...
Only she was the biggest bitch Warren had ever dealt with in his short measly life. All she did was talk about people that Warren should roast. Like Warren did work for stupid little brats...
Though, she was good in bed.
So Warren lead a single life the rest of his high school career. Every girl, from having the power of having every power in the universe (though it wasn't physically possible) to ones who had no powers at all, tried to hook up with him. They were shallow, low life Mary Sues. Of course, Warren had no idea what Mary Sues were, but it was damn straight that each girl that tried to hook up with him was as ridiculous as the last.
Our favorite pyro slammed the book shut and picked his head up. Across the room stood the tall, burly William Theodore Stronghold. Warren noticed the chiseled physique under the tight blue shirt the teenager was wearing (a shirt Warren liked best on the younger man). The soft brown hair moved against the invisible wind, enhancing the strong, full cheekbones that were tinted light pink. The skin impeccable - waiting to be kissed by either the sun or someone's lips...
One thing popped into Warren's mind:
"I must bed Will Stronghold!"
FLAME ALL YOU WANT SUCKAS! YOU KNOW IT'S FUNNY, ESPECIALLY IF YOU LIKE SLASH!
PEACE!
REAL WORDS