"And now for your host that we know and love, Brick Jojo!"
The audience went absolutely insane as I sauntered to the stage. I sat on my beige plush sofa and smoothed out my trousers and adjusted my burgundy tie.
"Thanks, Angela. Welcome to the show! Today, guys, we'll be discussing natural disasters. An earthquake recently—"
"Whoa! So this is your job, bro?"
"Awesome."
Oh no. Not those guys.
Were they trying to ruin my talk show?
Boomer and Butch ran over to my couch and sat down beside me. The audience went wild with a long round of applause.
"Excuse me, audience, I have some business to tend to."
And with that, I grabbed Butch and Boomer up by their shirt collars and hoisted them into the dressing room, closing the door behind me.
"What is wrong with you two? You do know that this is my job?" I admonished, my eyebrows furrowing with every word.
"Yeah, but you talk about some pretty boring stuff. We figured that since you were such a stick-in-the-mud then we would throw some excitement into it," Boomer answered, flicking the honey blonde hair out of his eyes.
"What kind of excitement?" I asked.
Suddenly, a flash of lime green, sky blue, and bright pink appeared before us.
"What are you people doing here?" I asked, my voice a hushed whisper.
"Boomie invited us," Bubbles replied sweetly.
"I am going to kill you guys! This is my job, and—"
"We want Brick! We want Brick!"
The crowd was calling. I gave them one last leery look before stepping back onto the stage.
"Sorry for the inconvenience, guys," I apologized hastily, readjusting my suit.
"Who was the hot blonde?"
"You mean this one?" Boomer asked teasingly, raising his shirt as he stepped out onto the stage.
What was he doing?
The crowd went positively nuts for him.
"Take it off! Dance!" the crowd shouted at him.
He took off his shirt and jumped on top of the couch while Butch played 'Sexy Back' by Justin Timberlake on his iPhone.
"I'm bringin' sexy back!" Boomer sang as he swung his shirt around in the air frantically.
"Get off from there! Cut the music!" I ordered furiously.
Suddenly, the Powerpuffs emerged. Great.
"You know, he's right. We should discuss topics of significance," Blossom insisted calmly, taking a seat beside me.
"Thank you! We should and we shall!" I agreed, pulling Boomer down to the couch.
"So…let's discuss rape."
My eyes widened at that suggestion.
"What? This is a family show!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up in the air.
"Well, the family needs to know the truth! Brick is a rapist!" Buttercup shouted.
A loud gasp came from the audience.
"No, no, I'm not!" I defended, raising my hands in protest.
Butch took the microphone out of my hand and put it to his lips.
"He's climbin' in your windows, he's snatchin' your people up! Tryna rape 'em so y'all need to hide ya kids, hide ya wife, hide ya kids, hide ya wife, hide ya kids, hide ya wife!"
Then, Boomer snatched the microphone.
"And hide your husbands, 'cause he's rapin' everybody out here!"
"I'm not gay!" I shouted in exasperation.
"Do y'all know what time it is!" Bubbles asked into the microphone.
"What time is it?" the crowd inquired in anticipation.
"It's Dance Time!"
Oh, the crowd went berserk for that. I didn't even bother to do anything. I just lay there on the couch, rubbing my throbbing temples.
Suddenly, the lights flickered off and neon disco lights spotted the room.
Butch turned on his iPhone and plugged it into the stereo system. My show is a lost cause…
Turn up the lights in here, baby
Extra bright, I want y'all to see this
Turn up the lights in here, baby
You know what I need, want you to see everything
Want you to see all of the lights
The music blared through the speakers as the crowd rose out of their seats and began to dance. Blossom was in control of the lights.
(All of the lights)
Fast cars, shooting stars
(All of the lights, all of the lights)
Until it's Vegas everywhere we are
(All of the lights, all of the lights)
If you want it you can get it for the rest of your life
If you want it you can get it for the rest of your life
"Turn this blatantly tumultuous, clamorous, obstreperous music down!" I finally screamed.
The lights flickered back on and the music cut off.
"You know what, Brick? I'm beginning to think that you don't like our idea of excitement," Boomer said quietly.
"No shit, Sherlock!"
The crowd booed me. So what? Screw them all.
"Look, I quit! You run this damn show, then! I'm out!" I shouted, throwing my hands in the air in surrender.
"No, Brick, don't go! We need you! We neeeed you!" Buttercup shouted, dramatically falling to her knees.
Suddenly, Boomer and everyone else dropped to their knees, too.
Boomer grabbed the microphone.
"I know you wanna leave me, but I refuse to let you go!" he sang, shaking his head.
"If I have to beg, plead for your sympathy, I don't mind, 'cause you mean that much to me!" Butch sang in his rough voice.
Then, they all rose to their feet and began snapping their fingers as the crowd clapped along happily.
"Ain't too proud to beg, and you know it, sweet darlin!" they chorused.
Was this a damn musical?
Seeing as though I was surrounded by blubbering fools, I sank back in my seat.
Author's Note: This was a one-shot just for fun. :D
The songs, in order, were:
Bed Intruder Song by Antione Dodson
All of The Lights by Kanye West Feat. Rihanna and Kid Cudi
Ain't Too Proud to Beg by The Temptations
Hope you enjoyed it! :D