The Night Before Christmas: Swan Queen Version
'Twas the night before Christmas, and at Regina's house,
her skirt was unzipped, and off went her blouse;
Her stockings were fishnet and her feet were bare,
In hopes that Emma Swan soon would be there;
Her titties were nestled all snug in her bra,
While fantasies of the sheriff made drop of her jaw,
And Emma in her 'tank top, and I with my laptop,
had just settled in to read a multi-chapter fanfic.
When over on Tumblr there arose such chatter,
I switched tabs on my browser to see what was the matter.
Away to re-blog I flew like a flash,
opened anon replies and scrolled through my dash.
Passed the Evil Queen's breasts and new candids of Snow,
impressive gifsets and photo manips, bravo!
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Regina and Emma looking so delightfully queer,
With magnificent lingerie and a waterproof vibe,
I was filled right then with shining gay pride.
At a rapid pace Swan Queen Nation laid claim,
and then was coined the Swan-Mills surname:
"Now! Dashed, now! Fictorium, now! Helebette, and ChillyFlame,
"On! Heartsways, on! Hunnyfresh, on! RedCharcoal and BondJane;
"Sex up Regina on the porch! Take Emma against the wall!
"Now write away! Right away! Smut fic it all!"
As ideas take form and fantasies fly,
Please finish "All We Seem," Ryaninthesky!
So up to the writers, they flew,
with stories for livejournal, tumblr and AO3 too:
And then on twitter I saw on my feed:
The squeeing and squealing of fangirls in glee.
Ginnifer Goodwin was still shouting "Porn",
Of course our ship was getting undue scorn.
But Regina and Emma were together in the next ep,
Swan Queen was happening and by God, we all wept;
"A lesbian Disney princess?" the naysayers cried,
but now it was our turn to tease them and chide.
Regina and Emma joined at last,
their relationship progressed incredibly fast.
They did it in the bath and under the desk
For the Queen and her Swan there was little rest.
They had sex in all places, little was missin',
and loving embraces in the crypt and the kitchen!
There were proposals and weddings, family affairs
Christmas morning found Henry's presents downstairs.
Most assuredly our Evil Queen really was back
Made obvious by the return of her tight leather pants,
And Emma, the savior, was golden and true
And together, with the ratings, their feelings ever grew
But of course we had known that all along,
young master Henry loved both of his moms.
A wink from Adam and a tweet from Eddie
Soon gave me hope that the nation was ready
The finale ended with true love and magic
For once it wasn't just a lesbian ratings gimmick
I heard Regina exclaim in the fiery throes of passion-
'Happy Christmas to all!' as she hit her orgasm.
The End