Title: Aftermath
Genre: Het
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Don/Robin
Characters: Don, Robin, David, Colby
Spoilers: 6.02 Friendly Fire (Episode tag/missing scene)
Disclaimer: Own nothing, not being paid.
A/N: Thank you to aleo for giving me thoughts when the fic got stuck and to zubeneschamali for the beta.
Summary: The fallout from Friendly Fire. Don reaches out for help.
David knelt down in front of Don. Don's gaze was unfocussed, his eyes red and tear tracks drying on his cheeks. The blanket that had been placed around his shoulders had slipped and David moved it gently back into place. Don stunk of sweat, a testament to how adrenaline-charged and fear-filled the minutes had been before he'd killed his old mentor. His hands in his lap trembled, adrenaline let-down and shock responsible.
"Don," David said softly.
He waited a few seconds and Don's eyes finally refocussed on him. It was clear that Don still wasn't all there, his brain doing its best to shield him from the trauma.
"I killed him."
The statement was matter-of-fact but the hopelessness in his expression belied it.
Colby's undercover operation and the fall out gave David some idea of just how betrayed and upset Don had to have been feeling before he'd had to put a bullet in Fox. The empty magazine near Fox's body and the new magazine in the gun indicated that Don had probably been forced into shooting him—his life or Don's. Knowing that someone you respected, had worked with and trusted was willing to kill you was probably going to have just as big an impact on Don as actually having to kill him.
Don gave a short bark of laughter. "He was going to kill me."
David reached out and clasped Don's shoulder through the blanket, trying to give him some reassurance. "You had no choice."
"Yeah," Don quietly agreed. "We never have a choice."
Robin opened the door to Don's apartment. She'd made her excuses and been on her way the minute she'd gotten his call, the heavy breaths before he'd said, "I need you," his voice the most exhausted and lost that she'd ever heard it, leaving her with no doubt that he did need her now. She was thankful that she was in LA and able to respond to his call. Three days earlier and that wouldn't have been the case.
Charlie's phone call not even five minutes later had confirmed the urgency as well as given her a partial explanation. There had been relief in Charlie's voice when he'd found out that Don had already called her. They were all aware of how hard it could be for Don to ask for help, to let himself be vulnerable. It was something that he was slowly learning.
Robin nodded at Colby as he made his way out, giving him a grateful smile. She was glad that Don hadn't been left alone. From what Charlie had told her and from how Don sounded, she didn't think it would have been a good idea.
Don was sitting on his sofa staring blankly at his TV, a bottle of beer on the floor beside his feet. His head quickly swung towards her when he heard her soft "hey", the reaction almost an overreaction. She crossed the room and settled beside him on the sofa, smelling sweat and gunpowder, their knees touching. The beer bottle was unopened, the reason why apparent when she looked down at where his hands were clenched in his lap. They shook, his knuckles white with the effort to squeeze the motion out of them.
Now that she was seated beside him, Don avoided her gaze, looking at the TV instead. The muscles in his jaw jumped with his effort to keep everything under control and his chin wobbled slightly when she covered his hands with hers. A long blink and there was wetness brimming at the corner of his eye, fighting to make its way free. He clenched his jaw harder, trying to force the emotions away, and Robin tightened her grip on his hands. She didn't say anything, knowing that for Don it would probably make things worse.
Several more tears slipped down his face and then he lost the battle, his torso shaking with the force of what he'd tried to hold in. He finally turned towards her and she put her arms around him, holding as tight as she could. Several long hacking sobs later he quietened, still shaking silently in her arms. They stayed that way for several minutes, Robin running her hand soothingly through his hair, Don silent other than for his shaky breaths, until he pulled back. He ran a hand over his face, trying to wipe away the evidence of his weakness. Knowing that he likely wouldn't have a tissue or a handkerchief, she handed him one.
"Thanks," he said softly, after wiping his nose. He sighed, the sound watery, and rubbed at his forehead with the heel of his hand. "I-I..."
He grimaced, fighting back further tears and she shushed him, wishing she could take away his hurt, putting her hand up to his cheek and rubbing her fingers against his skin lightly. He leaned into her touch before reaching out for her, pulling her to him. Then they were kissing and she could feel and taste the fact that he was crying again. The kisses gradually slowed from frantic until Don rested his forehead against hers.
"I killed him," Don said softly, his voice now steady. "I killed an FBI agent. A-a-" He broke off again, unable to say the words. Friend; mentor.
"You had no choice."
He snorted, disagreement and disparagement of himself in one. He was Don Eppes, he should have found another way, even if there wasn't one. It was clear to Robin, even from the little that Charlie had told her, that he'd been told, that Don would have had no choice. He'd been forced into a confrontation, kill or be killed. Fox hadn't wanted to go to prison. It was going to take time for Don to accept that and live with it.
Robin pulled back and rested her hand on the side of his face again, making sure that he was looking at her. "You had no choice, Don. He made the choice for you." Her voice was firm, full of conviction, the tone she used at the end of trial to try to convince the jury of the truth of the prosecution's case.
"I know. But, it doesn't..."
He shook his head and she let it lie. No words could make it better. That would take time and distance.
Don sank back against the sofa with a sigh and put his arm out. She followed his silent instruction, kissing him gently before settling in against him, hearing the steady thud of his heartbeat through his t-shirt where her head rested against his chest. He put his arm around her, holding her close to him.
Holding her wouldn't make it better, nothing could, but it would help. It was a start.
-FIN-