Tales of a Sunshiny Day
A fanfiction by: Me
There was a knocking on Colette's door. She wasn't expecting anyone, so she took off the apron she was wearing in surprise and put the cookies she had just finished baking back in the oven. The knocking on her door became more insistent.
"Keep your pants on!" she sang as she tripped over the apron she was wearing and fell on her face. She hadn't mopped the floor in a very long time but she fell on it so often it was never dirty.
When she got up the knocking was so loud that the whole door was shaking and she was scared it would fall over. It didn't though and she was able to answer it in one piece. On the other side was Lloyd!
"Hi, Lloyd!"
"Hi, Colette! What is that on your face?"
"Lloyd, that's insensitive! Bug guts are people, too!"
"You're right, and they're just as good as elves and humans!"
"Sure are! So why were you banging on my door?"
At this Lloyd started turning red but not as much as his fashionable clothes.
"Actually... There's something I wanted to tell you, Colette."
"Are you going to propose to me like everyone says you're going to?"
"LHFEAKJFEAWKJKEFJAW," said Lloyd.
"Sorry, I don't speak Dwarven."
(Actually only Dirk does, but he has an Irish accent, making it hard to understand for people like Colette who only dabble in the language.)
"I don't either," Lloyd replied, wondering if he had derailed the conversation already. "Anyways, let's go!" He grabbed her arm.
"But where are we going?" Colette cried in a wail.
"Not on a date," he said, and yanked her out the door, smacking her on the way out. The door fell over from all the domestic abuse.
They got outside finally and Lloyd took her across Iselia. She got so heavy from dragging in the mud after awhile that he put her in an Exsphere for safekeeping. There were no complaints so he figured she didn't mind. Then they went into the new fast food restaurant down the street and Genis looked up from wiping the counters. Lloyd dumped Colette out on the floor and she tripped again.
"Hi, guys!" Genis chirped.
"HI, GENIS!" they greeted him while Colette straightened herself out.
"So, what'll it be?" Genis asked, handing them a shiny menu.
Lloyd waved it away. "We'll just have the regular."
"Great! Two Daily Specials coming up. You guys can have the seat by the window."
The two of them looked to the corner, where a table was positioned next to a window. There was a ray of light shining in from the window, glittering on the silver lids of two dishes that were already sitting across from each other. Lloyd shrugged and went over to slide into one of the seats. Colette followed, frowning, and poked one of the lids. She left a smudge. Neither of them opened the lids.
"No one ever told me Genis started working here," she began after awhile.
"Oh, he's the owner."
"Raine let him buy a RESTAURANT?"
"On the condition that he make her the head chef, apparently."
"...And what's the Daily Special again?"
"Chef's pick," he answered with another shrug.
Colette headdesked. Into the lid, which sent it spiraling into the window beside them, which in turn set off the fire alarm, which sent an automatic phone call to the attorney that Genis hired last month. But none of that was as bad as what Colette found beneath that lid. It was horrid. Colette didn't even want to think about it.
Just kidding. Colette found a sandwich filled with canned vegetables and dead meat. She poked this, too.
"I feel like it's not dead, it's sleeping," she informed Lloyd disgustedly.
"I think I hear snoring."
"...That was me talking."
"You sure it wasn't me listening to you talking?"
"Lloyd, just tell me why you dragged me here already."
"Oh yeah!" he said, brightening. "I... need to tell you about my feelings."
"What?"
"My feelings... I need to tell you about them..."
"WHAT?"
"...I'M HERE TO TALK ABOUT MY FEELINGS."
"I'M SORRY, LLOYD, I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE FIRE ALARMS," Colette screamed, swimming in the sprinkler water that kept trying to flow out of the broken window.
Lloyd too found himself afloat and decided to go with the flow. Putting a sail and a rudder on Colette, he steered them out the window and landed them in a lovely park somewhere on the outskirts of Iselia. There were deer prancing everywhere and many animals singing on the lawn.
Colette and Lloyd sat down on a park bench. Colette crossed her knees and opened a parasol. Lloyd adjusted his beret. It was the European in him.
"So I think I'm having a midlife crisis."
"Isn't that what older men have?"
"No, that's puberty. Duh, Colette."
"And who told you that?"
"Oh, a little bird told me." And he smiled creepily as one of the birds chirping on the lawn behind them began to chortle wickedly. Then they twitched mechanically and went back to doing what normal birds do which is sing in Disney musicals.
Colette tilted her head to the side. "Sure, whatever, hon."
"Anyways, so I think I'm ready to tell you what it is I've been dragging you all over practically the world for."
"Shoot."
"I think I'm in romantic love with my dad."
"Which one?"
He shrugged. "Either or."
"OH EW GROSS. THAT'S JUST SO. EW. I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING. EW EW EW. I SWEAR ON YOUR MOTHER'S GRAVE THIS HORRIBLE WRONGNESS WILL BE RIGHTED. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW."
"How are you going to do that?" Lloyd asked, confused.
"I'LL TELL YOU HOW!" Colette began asthmatically.
...The end!
Me: Well, I forgot what the ending of this was going to be and I'm too lazy to think of a new ending, so this is it. The end! I hope you liked my first fic. Btw I want 20 reviews for this or I may not write anything else, because I really need to trade them in for food stamps. Anyways review please. LOL. :)