A/N: Warning: expect a lot of swearing, shout-outs, forth-wall breakage, and general asshatery around here-this is entirely for fun.
The Lute
The Warriors of Light—in their realm, they are known as the bringers of peace and prosperity. They are strong, physically and mentally, and present a face of stability and strength. Anyone who has seen them could attest to the seamless way they work together, selflessly supporting one another in all that they do. They have no quarrels, save for those with the forces of evil. No one can deny this fact.
Of course, no one's exactly seen them lost inside a dungeon.
"So how exactly does this thing work again?"
They had slain the four fiends, the crystals shone once more, and yet those sages at that stupid circle insisted that they do more work. Go back in time and kill the source, they said. Don't worry; the Princess has given you all you need.
Never mind that they had no clue how to play a lute.
Thief, called such because he had looked like a thief at the start of it all, though now he was garbed as a Ninja, held said instrument as they stood, 2,000 years before they had originally existed, inside the Shrine of Chaos where they had already killed the bad guy and saved the damsel and now had to go kill more bad guys else wise the whole world would end, regardless of the fact that the four fiends had already been slaughtered.
A simple stone plate blocked their way, much like what had happened in the Cavern of Earth, except this time the Rod didn't work.
They'd been sitting there for the better part of an hour, wondering just what they were supposed to do. The Warrior, in his quiet way, had pulled the Lute out, much to the other's surprise. They'd all but forgotten its existence; after all, it'd been a while since they'd gotten it from the Princess Sarah.
And they still had no clue how to play the damn thing.
During this time, Black Mage had started doing his little encyclopedia number, and Thief got sarcastic (as per usual), and the two had begun ranting at each other about anything and everything that bothered them, up to and including the fact that they were know as 'Thief' and 'Black Mage' never mind that they did in fact posses normal names.
But, the world didn't care about their names. All it cared about was that they had the crystals and they were the Light Warriors and goddamnit they'd better bail us out of the mess we're in.
The Circle of Sages also came up, about how they were no help with their mysterious claims of knowledge that made sense to no one but themselves; Thief had actually gone as far as to say that the Dwarves, with their strange accents, were easier to understand then those so-called sages.
Warrior, now a Knight, had long since stopped paying attention. He occupied himself with killing whatever random monster thought that the noise his companions were making meant food, not that the pair noticed.
White Mage, who was actually a White Wizard but still called a Mage and sometimes even mistaken for a Priest, had at first tried to reason with the troublesome two. But neither would listen, and she began to grumble about the idiocy of men; something she did often due to the fact that she was the only girl in the group. She'd gone as far as to start helping Warrior out, as he at least was not annoying, though far beyond her realm of understanding—because, of course, he was male. She had even put her hood up, hoping to block out some of the noise—not that it had worked.
Eventually she'd tired of that, and had managed to squeeze in the word 'Lute' between Thief and Black Mage, thus bringing them back to the problem at hand.
In response to Thief's rather simplistic question, Black Mage, who was actually a Black Wizard or sometimes just Wizard, said in the tone he used whenever he felt he was teaching someone of lesser mental standing then himself, "Well, if you pluck at the strings, they make different pitches, so theoretically, you could-"
"I got that part, you smartass." Thief snapped. "What I meant was, how the hell do we get this thing to get us where ever it is that we're going? I don't think this thing's supposed to be a lever like that Rod, and I doubt bashing it into the ground will help."
"I suppose you simply have to play the correct tune, and the slate will magically open."
"So we just pluck a few strings, and then we're good?"
"That seems to be the case."
Thief look at the lute for a moment or two before he began to pluck at the strings, making the saddest excuse for music they'd ever know, be it in this time or the other. Warrior found himself returning to his troublesome companions, both because he wanted the noise to stop and because all the monsters had fled in terror—and he could have sworn that he'd seen some cracks form in the stone wall when the noise had commenced.
Black Mage called for Thief to shut up, to which Thief had replied that if Black Mage was so smart, let's see him try it and do better.
By this point, White Mage was so fed up with them that she was contemplating the effects of beating them both upside the head with Thor's Hammer. Maybe she'd get lucky and the jolt of electricity would jump-start their brains.
The two had resumed their bickering, this time pointing out everything they'd ever found wrong about one another—from Thief's woman-chasing at every inn and pub they'd been to, to Black Mage's glowing yellow eyes hidden by the shadow of his overly-large hat. Both were familiar complaints, the former seeing Black Mage dunked in a nearby well, and the latter seeing Thief suffer from a well-placed Fira spell.
Warrior, finally having grown bored, quietly walked between his 'friends' and took the Lute from Thief's hands. He then sat down on the edge of a pedestal of one of the statues surrounding the slate they were failing to move, closed his eyes, and began to play a perfectly peaceful melody. The sweet notes echoed in the air as he continued, one flowing into the next. The other three stared as the slate glowed, than vanished, and the tune faded into the silence.
Warrior stood, and raised an eyebrow at his companions. "What?"
Black Mage found his voice first. "Where…did you learn to do that?"
"Princess Sarah taught me the night we stayed at the Castle before heading north."
"And, you didn't tell us this…why?" White Mage inquired, her eyes twitching in a way that could be dangerous.
Warrior smiled slightly, a sparkle of mischief in his eyes. "You never asked."
As Warrior slipped the Lute back into its original place, Thief finally seemed to grasp the situation in his own unique way.
"So wait, you got it on with the Princess and didn't tell us?"
Warrior reacted with speed that comes with hordes of training, nearly slicing off Thief's nose. Thief did manage to dodge at the last moment, but his triumph was killed by a sudden spark of pain. It was apparent that Thief had not learned a vital lesson about his female companion; she had a small amount of patience and a prominent jealous streak, not to mention a hell of a hammer blow.
Thief crumpled to the ground, twitching, and White Mage snarled furiously. Obviously, she wasn't done.
By implying that Warrior was attracted to another woman, that streak, spurned on by the hour of annoyance that she'd just suffered from, had ignited into a burning rage.
Warrior, being the wisest of them, was making his way down the newly opened ladder, knowing that whatever monsters down there would be easy to defeat with his Excalibur and his decent knowledge of White magic, while a murderous White Mage was not to be trifled with.
Black Mage opened his mouth to jeer at the fallen Thief, but when he saw White Mage, whose hood now overshadowed much of her face, and whose eyes glinted with murderous intent, he quickly changed his mind. Staying only long enough to bid Thief good luck, he hastened after Warrior, who was much more even-tempered and who would, more likely then not, avoid giving him a concussion.
Thief slowly regained his senses, only to see White Mage's sadistic grin, and that sparkling eye that promised him much pain and hurt.
He barely had the time to say "OH SHI-!" before she brought Thor's Hammer down again.
From below, Warrior and Black Mage both winced at the sudden cries of pain.
"I don't suppose we're going to just leave him there?" Black Mage asked his leader with a shaky laugh.
Warrior shrugged. "I don't know…on one hand, he does kind of deserve it…"
"And on the other?"
"Well, I'm beginning to think we've found the ancient evil…."
Again with the shaky laughter, this time interrupted by Thief falling from the hole from which they'd come.
"Heal…please…" He'd rasped.
"She's the healer," Warrior said softly, gesturing upwards. "I don't know enough magic to help you."
"I wouldn't get healed too much anyways." Black Mage said. "She's only going to hit you again."
This point was reinforced by White Mage jumping down from above, landing on Thief's back with a rather painful sounding crunch.
Warrior and Black Mage backed away, not wishing to get caught in the crossfire. As White Mage finished extracting revenge for the perceived wrong, the two onlookers continued their conversation in a low aside.
"Now I know why the strongest fiend was female." Warrior murmered.
"Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned, right?"
With the barest of chuckles, Warrior nodded, and turned to face some newly appeared monsters. After all, they wouldn't want to interrupt the team bonding back there, would they?