Disclaimer: The utterly amazing world of Middle-Earth belongs to Tolkien, and Tolkien alone. The rest of us can merely wish and dream.
So it comes to this…
*
You were strong
You were stronger
You dragged me up mountains
Because I had to
You gave me your food, your drink
You were weaker than me
The Ring would not have let me die
But it wouldn't let you live
*
"Sir," you declare, glancing up at me from your place by the crackling fire. Our eyes meet, and suddenly you don't have anything else to say.
I nod thoughtfully, and do not speak, instead turning to stare into the flames. They dance like wild demons, and I don't know what else to do.
You watch me for a couple of. Seconds? Minutes? Hours?
*
After everything we've been through…
*
Then I blink and you're not there anymore, and the fire has died, and the room is cold. Dark. Empty.
Then I'm in my bed, staring up at the white ceiling, and thinking. I slowly stroke the stump of my lost finger.
It hurts. But not as much as.
*
Together…
*
You could have left me
I know
You could have ran and never looked back
I know
You could have escaped it all
I know
*
After all the places we've been…
*
You could have
But I didn't
*
"Sir," you say, and suddenly I'm awake with my head on the desk and I can feel you behind me, hear your every move.
My eyes stay shut tight, and my fingers tighten on the previously forgotten quill. I breath and wait.
You pause, and I can almost hear you think.
A warm, rough hand brushes my own ink-stained fingers, softly so as not to wake me, and I shiver though not from cold.
The scattered parchment rustles slightly, caught by a breeze. You sigh, and the warm hand goes, leaving my own cold and so alone. The window creaks slightly as it is pulled shut, and then the silence I have grown to hate is returned to me.
"You'll catch your death, sir," you murmur, and I hear you begin to back away.
*
All the people we've seen…
*
"Don't," I choke, trembling at the sorrow of it all, and I grasp your hand as you pause. "Don't leave me."
Then you're by my side and I'm in your arms and if I cried I know you'd understand.
"I don't mean to," you whisper and you mean it too, and suddenly nothing else matters. "I don't mean to."
Then
Then you're gone, and it's silent again, and I sit alone and do not cry.
*
You did everything
Not enough
I failed
You survived
You succeeded
Because of you
*
"Sam…" I breath, and it's cold again with the wind blowing and salt in the air. You shiver, and I'm by your side with my hand on your shoulder.
*
So it comes to this…
*
Your eyes shine, and I know the very next word I say shall make those tears fall. And it hurts so much.
*
You carried me on your back
What else could I do?
You would have died for me
I had to
*
"Sam," I repeat, and for once I don't know what to say. I bow my head and clutch your shoulders as if it is their warmth and strength keeping me from blowing away. You close your eyes and shake your head as if in disbelief.
*
But I never thought…
*
I'm holding on so tight I can't breath, and I don't want to. I choke, and shake, and then my head is buried in your shoulder. I'm holding on so tight your cloak is ripping, but I will have to let go soon and then my world will shatter and fall apart.
I shake my head and bite my lip, and our eyes meet and it hurts so much more than.
*
I'd have to say…
*
"Frodo," you whisper, and suddenly there's nothing left to say.
*
But I never though I'd have to say…
*
You did it all for me
I did
And now I'm doing this for you
*
And at last the tears spill.
*
Goodbye