New year, new story! I am excited to bring this one to you and I hope you will give it a chance. The first half will mostly be told from Edward's POV with the other characters adding their thoughts along the way. This first chapter is short but I promise the ones to follow will get longer.

I don't have a beta so please forgive any mistakes you find. If anyone is interested in being my beta, I would be greatly appreciative!

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. (C) badkfare 2011

Enjoy!

EPOV

March 5th, 2010

I'm sitting here completely numb. I know that I should be feeling a million different things right now but I think all of these emotions are coming together at once making me feel numb. The plastic seat is starting to become a part of me as I sit waiting for news. I can see activity moving in and out of the room as nurses and other personnel try to work. I have been starring at that door for so long; I think I have every aspect of it memorized.

I can hear a few conversations going on around me but the dominate sound in the hallways is sobbing. I tare my eyes away from the door to look at those around me. Alice is a mess in Jasper's arms as he tries to hold it together for the both of them. Emmett looks devastated as Rosalie tries to hold the big guy up. Esme and Charlie are leaning on one another as my mom rubs circles on Charlie's back as he tries to hold back the tears. Mike and Jessica are talking to the Quileute boys as Leah comforts Jake.

All of these faces love the girl fighting down the hall but none more than me. I turn back to the door where my father is fighting to keep her alive while I try to remember how the hell we got here. I try to think about the last time I actually saw my girl and I can't remember. It's an awful thing to admit but then again, lately all we seem to be is shadow of our former selves. I look back and it breaks my heart to see how far Bella and I have fallen.

I didn't think I would ever recover from losing her. That day in the hall; the look of hurt and devastation that I put there broke everything in me. What followed after that became one nightmare after another. All the choices I made were to get back to Bella but it seems that all her choices kept us further apart. I'm not even sure why I'm here but I also know there isn't anywhere else I would rather be.

Another nurse enters Bella's room and I can hear the commotion. There is a frenzy of movement as people work frantically to put Bella back together again. I saw the car on my way to the hospital and apart of me has no idea how my brown hair angel survived. I know the other two didn't and for that I couldn't be happier. At least that part of this nightmare is finally over. I know I shouldn't be happy about the loss of life but trust me when I say, they had it coming.

"Edward? Is there anything I can get you?" Tanya's sweet saccharine voice fills the space as her hand covers mine. My body tenses under her touch. It feels foreign and wrong.

I shake my head knowing that anything I put in my stomach wouldn't be staying for long. I keep my eyes on the door but I can feel eyes on me. I look around to see Rosalie and Alice glaring at me. I can feel Tanya's hand rubbing circles on my back and I don't have the strength to respond to either of their silent insinuations. Tanya has been a new addition to my life and one that hasn't really been welcomed.

"Edward you haven't eaten anything in almost twenty four hours. Please let me get you something," concern fills Tanya's voice as her grip tightens on my hand.

"I couldn't eat right now if I wanted to but thanks," I offer a weak smile as I turn my eyes back to the door.

Tanya sighs loudly but I can't be bothered. I know what people think and I know what she wants but the truth is, everything that I am is in that room. I have nothing left for anyone else including myself. I think about my girl and the way we use to be. I close my eyes to take me back to when my life couldn't have been more perfect. I long for those days.

My fingers moving slowly through her mahogany silk as her soft full pink lips move over mine. Her small delicate hand running through my messy hair while the other hand moves over my back. Her warmth and softness wrapping around my body as I pull her closer to me; never close enough. My hands move over curves as a small moan leaves her. Her eyes, the key to my home starring into mine showing me all the love she has for me.

I close my eyes as the ache in my chest threatens to rip me apart. I feel a breath trap in my chest as I lean over to try and regain my composure but it's slipping quickly. I have been utterly lost without her and now the idea of never getting her back leaves me swimming in a black abyss. I don't know what more I could've done but now I think I should've done more. My breathing returns to me as Tanya leans over to tell me how concerned she is and how she thinks I should leave with her to get some rest. I fight the laughter inside me. There is no way in hell I'm going anywhere.

"Why don't you go home and I will call you later," my tone is flat and cold but I really can't stand her presence.

"I don't mind waiting," her bright smile makes my stomach turn as she moves further into me.

"Tanya I really think it would be best if you just went home. There's nothing you can do here and I would like to be left alone," my tone leaves no room for argument and I watch her smile fall.

Tanya looks around the room as she retracts from me. I can see the anger moving over her features but I could care less. I think about how she has done nothing to make anything better just worse. I pull my hand away from hers as she straightens and reaches for her bag. Tanya looks around the small area and is met with glares and grimaces. She knows she's not welcome and now her irritation fills her body language.

"Fine then I'll go." Tanya leaves quickly and the only sound of her departure is the clicking of her heels. My body relaxes slightly as I look back to the room.

Bella has been here for almost twenty four hours. When she was first brought in she was rushed to surgery. My father worked through the night to patch Bella up before moving her to her room. For a few hours Bella was stable before coding. Every time they were able to get her stable it wasn't for long. My dad has been trying to get her medevaced out of here but Bella can't seem to stabilize long enough for transport.

I can hear movement behind me as I turn to see Ben walking with a distraught Angela who is carrying a messenger bag that looks like Bella's. I can hear her trying to speak but she's too overcome with her sobbing to be coherent. Ben whispers in her ear as Angela takes a minute to calm her. I can see her struggle as she opens the bag and removes a rubber banded group of envelopes.

"I have something for each of you…I was told…She wanted me to…," with that Angela collapses with tears. My mother moves to comfort the poor girl as I look at the envelopes.

A few minutes pass before Angela composes herself.

"Bella wanted me to give these out if…Something…Happened to her," she snivels before her and Ben walk around distributing the envelopes.

Everyone gets one and my heart is in my throat as I see the pile diminish and I still haven't received one. I can see everyone's hesitation to open their envelopes while I pray that my girl has something to say to me. Ben finishes with his pile as Angela gives out her last one. My heart drops as I realize there isn't anything for me. I can feel everyone's eyes on me as I look down the hall to Bella's room. I fight through the pain and betrayal while tears fill me eyes.

"Edward?" Angela's small voice brings me back as I take deep breathes to calm the storm brewing in me. I wipe my eyes as I turn to look at the petite girl next to me. "I have something for you."

Angela reaches into the bag to remove a shoe box. I look at the box as Angela places it in my hands. I look up at her as she wipes tears from her face. "She made me promise…no matter what to give you this."

I give Angela a weak smile as she stands to walk over to Ben. I can't take my eyes off the box but I hear her voice. "I'm so sorry Edward."

My hands are shaking as I try several times to open the lid. I close my eyes as I take several deep breathes. I open my eyes as I look down the hall again as another nurse hurries into the room. I open the lid and look inside. I am overwhelmed with what's inside. Pictures of my life with Bella; some I have seen but many I haven't. I move through them as the tears stream down my face. On the side I can see several envelopes. I grab the one closest and read the front.

READ FIRST.

I open the envelope trying to bring myself closer to Bella. There is a picture in with a letter written by her hand. I look at the photo and I can't fight the sob that breaks through. It's a close up of Bella and me as she kisses my cheek. We both look so happy. I open her letter with a shaky hand as I start to read.

Dear Edward,

I write this knowing that there isn't anything I can say that will make up for the wrong that I have done. I made a promise to you that I had to break and you will never know how much I hate myself for it. I never wanted to hurt you and it breaks my heart to see the pain that I have caused you. You have to know Edward that you are my everything; my heart and soul. You are my past, my present and what I always wanted for my future.

I never felt more complete then when I was with you. You gave me the greatest gift: you. I always knew how safe and loved I was in your arms. Who would've thought that you pulling on my pigtail all those years ago would lead us here. Years of laughter and love has given me the greatest life. Thank you for being you and getting that spitball out of my hair. My hero, my love.

I know you have a million questions and I hope that I can answer them for you. From the start of this I had a haunting suspicion that I needed to write this all down. I may not have been able to let you in on what was going on but I never intended for you to be left in the dark. Everything I did, I did to protect you and our family. I need you to remember that when this is all said and done.

I have written a series of letters. I wrote them as everything went down so that you would know what happened. Please don't be mad as you learn more about went down. There were people that helped me along the way and I asked them because they were the furthest people from you. If you want to be mad, leave it with me.

I wish I was with you going through these letters. Actually I wish I was telling you this in person. But I'm not so this is what I leave behind.

I love you Edward with everything that I am.

Always, Your Bella.

I couldn't stop the onslaught of tears that ran down my face. I reread the letter two more times before I looked around the room to see the others all crying. Bella never intended on surviving this ordeal and this was her goodbye. I held the letter to my chest as I moved the box to the seat next to me. I thought for sure that I would spill the contents on the floor. I look at the picture again as the door to Bella's room flies open.

"Code Blue, Code Blue."

My heart stops as I see my father running down the hall to Bella's room. This can't be how it ends. The door doesn't close all the way and I can hear the frantic voices working together.

"Still no pulse, another shot of Epi."

I get up out of the chair and move to the door. I have to see her. I have to tell her that I love her and to stay with me.

"I'm losing her."

Bella.

"Clear."

The defibrillator goes off as everyone in the room looks to the heart monitor. Nothing. Flat line.

"Bella!"

Nothing like a little drama to start off the show! Please let me know what you thought. I'm not above bribing with a teaser to the next chapter to those that will grace me with their thoughts.

I am going to be updating on Fridays, Saturdays at the latest. Hope everyone has a great weekend!