Forty years and finally reunited. Heaven and Hell 4x10 puts a new perspective on the brothers reuniting in Lazarus Rising 4x01.
This has been sitting on my laptop since season four first aired and I've finally decided to publish it.
After Forty Years
An oddly familiar stretch of hallway and doors spring up around him, propelling him back into a world of ancient memories. Moldy walls, lumpy mattresses, holes in the wall, cracks littering the floor broads, a sense of duty, of belonging. Torn images that belong to a life he's slowly beginning to stitch together, after years of the threads being shredded into unrecognisable scraps.
There's a sense of happiness attached to those memories and not the kind associated with some evil bastard getting off on putting him through the slaughter house. Every minute that ticks by he remembers more of this world that he'd been denied of for so long.
With the good comes the bad, a wave of apprehension washing over him, he's always being thrown the short stick, darkness and evil follow him around, swallowing up any joy he attempts to hold. Though, it's not all bad. There is one aspect of his life that stands out dramatically against the tainted pictures in is head; his family. Mum, Dad and Sammy. His parents may have been taken from him, both dying to save their children but Sam's still there, the one person that's always kept him going when it would be easier to simply give up, the little brother that he'd sworn to protect. He would like to have thought he'd accomplished that goal, taking that one way ticket to the pit so that his brother could continue to live but now, from what Bobby's told him he's beginning to think he's failed.
Only yesterday had he clawed his way out of a pine box, gasping at the fresh air that hit his lungs the moment he broke the surface. He couldn't believe it when he'd found a paper, the date reading September 18th 2008. Four months, his torture in hell had only been a few measly months up here. He supposes he should be happy, at least that means Bobby's still kicking and Sammy's not struggling with stiffening joints. Still, it's strange to think how little time has passed since he was alive and to return after what felt like years to him, only to find everything as he left it, it's almost like he's travelled back in time.
Thoughts of his brother return him to the corridor he and Bobby are quickly marching their way down. Each door they pass has a number tacked upon its centre, captured in tacky pink suits. Finally reaching their destination, both men stop. Dean can hear the distance beat of music, its tune seeping out from under the closed door in front of him. With the flash of a badge the woman manning the desk gave him Sam's room number, 207. Bobby and Dean have tracked him here, to this motel, in Pontiac, Illinois, so close to where the oldest living Winchester clawed his way out of the ground. It can't be a coincidence, he learnt long ago that there's no such thing in this line of work. If there is a God out there, he'd pray to him right now, begging for him to be wrong, it's not worth being saved if Sam has to take his place.
Dean can feel his heart pumping violently in his chest, he's nervous and with good reason. He doesn't know what he'll find, if his brother will be the same, if he'll even be there at all, or if Sam's gone and doomed himself to the same fate Dean had dealt out.
Sparing a glance to the older hunter, Dean gulps back his nerves and is suddenly able to feel the light buzz of excitement filling his stomach. His little brother is just beyond that door. After forty years of thinking he'd never see Sam again, he's seconds away from reuniting with the kid and not an aged sixty-something year old but the twenty-five year old he sold his soul for. Lifting his hand, the hunter knocks hard on the solid wood.
The door swings back and for the first time in his life Dean feels only gut-wrenching disappointment at the sight of an attractive woman before him. They clearly have the wrong room and Dean can only hope that it was the woman at the desks mistake and that Sammy is actually in the building. Just to be sure he takes a quick glance into the room beyond her and spotting no 6ft.4 little brother, Dean's ready to dismiss her and return to the front desk to demand that the woman give him the right number this time.
No sooner had the words left his mouth then none other than Sam Winchester strolls out of the bathroom. The younger brother turns to the older, stopping mid sentence.
He hasn't changed, he's exactly the way Dean remembers him, forty years and he hasn't aged. Dean could probably look closer and notice little things that weren't there before but the pain reflected in his eyes was always there, right from the day he made that deal. From the stress leading up to his death, from the guilt, the late nights and the early mornings researching trying desperately to find a way to release Dean from the crossroads deal.
A small smile ghosts Dean's lips as the brothers lock gazes and not breaking eye contact Dean steps into the room. Being so happy at finally seeing his little brother again he's not quite prepared when Sam charges him, pulling a knife and shoving Dean against the wall, desperate to plunge the blade through Dean's newly sewn flesh. Immediately Bobby's at their side, tugging Sam off of his brother and trying to calm the distraught younger man.
He doesn't want to know what's going through Sam's head, judging by the raw pain shining through his eyes, probably much the same as what had been going through Bobby's when he reacted with the same violence. Sam thinks he's some demon or shifter impersonating his brother, disgracing his memory. Dean doesn't blame him, what's he supposed to think after seeing his older brother ripped to shreds in front of him, unable to help, unable to do anything but watch as Dean's soul was torn from his body to spend eternity in the pit. And now, apparently four months later, here's said brother standing perfectly intact in his door way. It's a lot to take in, even for college boy.
Sam settles as Bobby gets through to him, his anger being replaced by utter shock. Taking this as his cue, Dean steps forward and before he knows it, Sam has covered the distance between them and envelops him into a hug, to which Dean instantly returns, the embarrassment of a chick-flick moment not even brushing at the corners of his mind.
Dean can't believe it, after all this time he's got Sam back, or Sam's got him back. He'd thought he'd never see his brother again. And if the decades dragged on and what Ruby said came to pass and he did become the very thing he spent his life hunting, he had hoped he never would see Sam again, not wanting to inflict that pain, both emotional and probably physical onto the younger man.
At that thought he closes his eyes, the embrace tightening as he pulls his little brother closer. Who knew how close he'd come to a path of evil, he'd certainly been heading in the right direction after what he'd done, torturing those people for ten years.
Opening his eyes he looks to Bobby. Right now, here in this room are the two most important people in his life. No matter what he's done, no matter how dead he feels inside, he has his family next to him once again.
Pulling apart, Dean studies Sam from a distance, noting the array of emotions playing across his face. Sam may not have lost him for forty years but he still lost him and Dean of all people knows exactly how Sam feels. Cold Oak is now just a dot in the rear-view mirror yet watching your brother die is something that can never be erased but neither can the happiness upon having him returned.
Seeing Sam standing in front of him, alive and intact, the ache burning within him feels lessoned, he doesn't feel so alone and he suddenly remembers why he did what he did, why he lived literally through hell. Dean can only hope his brother didn't undo what he'd tried so desperately to prevent. He went to hell so Sam could live and he didn't do forty years of time in the pit only to have the younger man take his place, putting him back in the same position he was in forty-one years ago, only this time Sam wouldn't simply be dead, he'd be in hell, getting ripped to pieces on the rack day after day. But it would not be for eternity, it would only be until the older brother finds a way to switch their places once again. Winchesters can be stubborn bastards when they want to be, they could probably end up playing this game forever.
Well, little brother, game on.