The Finding of Boromir: Denethor's final undoing
Denethor stood alongside a river, humming to himself happily. Life was good. Boromir was off on some quest to save the world and Faramir was being his normal, useless self. Denethor blinked as he saw a boat, of elven craft from the looks of it, floating merrily in the river. As he spotted no one inside the boat, Denethor decided to go take a look for himself. Ever hear about that saying that, 'Curiosity killed the cat'? Well...translated into Steward of Gondor form it's, 'Curiosity killed his sanity'. For there, laying in the boat, was the bloody, battered form of Boromir. Denethor stumbled back and squealed like a crazed fan girl would when Legolas was spotted nearby.
A ways away, Faramir stood surveying Osgilioth. Everything was quiet for the moment, a welcome break. Sauron, Faramir was sure, was up to no good and would no doubt launch a full-scale attack upon Minas Tirith. Despite his and many of his men's warnings to Denethor, the Steward refused to believe his son and trusted men. 'Hmph. If Boromir were here, he'd knock some sense into father.' Faramir thought sullenly, crossing his arms in front of his chest and puffing his lower lip out. Suddenly, a keening scream echoed across the area. "Was that a woman?" one of his men asked incredulously, glancing around to see if he could spot said woman. One of his friends smacked him companionably on his shoulder and said, "You wish. Don't you know that scream? That's a scream that you only hear when fan girls realize Legolas is nearby and unarmed. You hear it a lot around Mirkwood I hear...". Faramir's eyes narrowed in speculation. That was no woman nor fan girl scream. No, that scream belonged none other than his father, the Steward of Gondor.
Denethor continued to scream, his face turning blue from loss of air. Over his high-pitched screeches he heard someone yelling, "BREATHE DAD BREATHE!!!" Denethor struggled to breath, thinking somehow Boromir had come back to life or it was just a cruel prank someone had played. When Denethor's vision returned to normal (he had been getting a little dizzy and was seeing random things like polka-dotted lemmings running all around) he looked into the concerned face of...his worthless son Faramir. Denethor's eye twitched and he pushed his younger son away from him. "Get away! I'm having a crisis here!" Faramir stumbled backwards, managed to catch himself before he fell and looked at his father quizzically. "What? Did you get another subscription to Old People's Magazine again?" Denethor glared daggers at his son and yelled, "NO!!! GO AWAY!!! JUST GO STAND SOMEWHERE!!!" Faramir blinked and shifted from foot to foot, looking rather nervous and confused. Denethor slapped himself in the face and yelled at the top of his lungs, "GO STAND SOMEWHERE FAR AWAY FROM ME YOU IDIOT!!!" Faramir blinked, very hurt inside, and walked away dejectedly.
Denethor glared after his son's retreating form then turned slowly towards the boat that bore his son's body. He began to walk towards it, intending on carrying the body back to the city himself when a low moan emitted from the boat. As Denethor watched on in horror, Boromir sat up, stretching and looking groggily around. "Dang. That's the LAST time I take Valium and Trazadone before a battle." Boromir muttered to himself as he rubbed his eyes.